I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I didn't think I wanted to yesterday. FI and I have been living together for 2 1/2 years, and it's like we're married, so we share finances.. and we were going over our debt, it's nothing HUGE but it's still there, and I was contemplating having the wedding.. It seems like so much for one day, but then everyone was telling me to do it, and I may feel that way now, but in the long run it's for the best, and if I don't I'll regret it.. I tried to cut back on the budget but i don't want to.. what's $22,000 vs $25,000 if your gonna do it you mine as well do it right.. RIGHT???!!!!???

Has anyonelse felt this way?? second guessed their wedding??

it seems like I got through this every 5 months.. lol. I can't wait til it's here!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I feel the exact same way! We have been living together for the same amount of time as you too.

We are in the same $$$ situations. I really dont know what I am going to do but hopefully we will decide soon.

Its so hard.....


I am sorry I couldnt offer you any help!

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Oh I sooooo did that and still do it from time to time. But you know what I am so glad that we did it and had the big wedding we wanted even if it did make us put off getting a house for a year.

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

truly understand - just cut $$$ where u you can & enjoy the rest of yr wedding day......
its even more special because yr in love...

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Never 2nd guessed having a big shindig...plan it and enjoy your day

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

O you are definitely not alone.....I think most rational people do...I mean $20,000 for ONE day is alot of money, and you start to run through ALLL the other things you could do with the money(pay off a school loan, buy a car, renovate etc) but in the end I think most if not all brides realize that it is a trly once in a lifetime thing and a day to be cherished

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I have the same doubts... I've never really been one to fantasize about my big wedding day... add on top of that the fact that we already got married at city hall last week... it just seems like a huge waste of money. I'm not paying, but I still feel guilty like I'm draining my parent's money for retirement for no good reason... I know that I would love the day whether we spend $10,000 on something really low key or spend $40,000 on something grander... if I know my FI and I would truly enjoy either, then why spend all the money??? Can't tell my parents that though... I am the youngest, and only daughter, so I know this is as much for them as it is for me and my FI

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Yes, I've definitely felt this way... many, MANY times!

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

ive felt that way at times... so we decided to be reasonable... we picked our hall that we liked and also it had the lowest price... i decided to spend a little extra on photo and video, but go with the best deals(with reputability) for the rest of the vendors.. we kept our budget of like $23000 including honeymoon

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I've never second guessed getting married...but I have second guessed the big extravagant day only because of my dream to have a house and the cost of living being so astronomical on Long Island. I'm sure I will have no regrets and things will all work out. As we book our vendors and talk more about the day, I can't wait!

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I feel this way everytime we pay for something. But, it's something I always wanted so I guess we have to hang in there.

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

You are not alone. I posted something similar to this a couple of weeks ago. I still feel it from time to time and I bet I will up until the day of. But I know that FH and I would both (regardless of what he says now ) regret it if we didn't 'do it right'. We aren't putting ourselves into debt over it though and we already own our home so we maybe we don't feel AS guilty blowing all this cash on one day but believe me -- everyday we can think of something ELSE we could use the money for!!!

I look at this way... I really rather end up saying 'I wish I hadn't' than 'I wish I had'...

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

YES! You are not alone! we've been living together for about 4 years and financially things have been tough, FH is finishing up school, so I'm the only income, we are paying for the wedding on ourselves, I would love to be able to buy a co-op or something, but we are having this wedding, You just have to stay focused and really budget your expenses with the wedding, Don't get that mentality of oh whats the difference of $2000 more dollars, every bit is going to count, it's hard to keep the budget down, but try. But we wanted to have a nice memory of our wedding and I think in the end you will be glad you did have the wedding.

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I feel that way all the time. But I wanted to run away and elope from the get go.

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I feel that way sometimes but I know I will regret it later so I get rid of those htoughts really fast.

Re: I want to get married, and have this big wedding, and the whole shabang.. but..

I feel the same way! I'm still considering running off to Vegas ( or a tropical island), but I know I'll regret it!