I went a little Bridezilla-ish w/ UPDATE

Ok, so my aunt asked me for a list of people that I'd want to invite to the bridal shower. Other than the list, I am not having anything to do with it (her and my MOHs want it as a surprise). So... I send her the list. She calls me back and says that my FMIL wants to add 13 people! I was like, what???? I already invited all of FH's aunts, cousins, and close friends. Who is left? I basically told my aunt the following, 'Listen. I haven't been bridezilla about anything. BUT, I REALLY don't want to have people there that I don't know.' It makes me feel very uncomfortable that people I don't know would be at the shower. What do you girls think?

UPDATE: So FH and I agree that if he or I don't know the person AND if either side of the family hasn't seen them in a number of years, then they can certainly be invited to the wedding but not the shower. UGH. I should have eloped!!!!

I agree but...

If she has a few friends who will be invited to the wedding, they may have to come to the shower too.... I say this because its a big deal for parents to and they want to share it with their friends.

While 13 is a bit excessive, maybe give her 5.

JMO

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Posted by RitasEngaged

I would feel a little of the same - but your not paying for it so i would just think about more gifts

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This is why I you!

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Posted by Its2Snappy

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Posted by RitasEngaged

I would feel a little of the same - but your not paying for it so i would just think about more gifts

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This is why I you!

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FMIL did the same thing with my shower

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Posted by RitasEngaged

I would feel a little of the same - but your not paying for it so i would just think about more gifts

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good point rita

I am sure FMIL will do the same to me.......at the end of the day, they DO come bearing gifts so I would just let them come!!!

I agree. Perhaps these are co-workers of your FMIL or friends of the family.

Try to find out from FH who these extra people are. Maybe they are like 2nd/3rd cousins who u might have forgotten about.

The plot thickens... Now my aunt just called, all pissed off because she doesn't feel like she has enough people from our side! Ugh! I'm not even supposed to be involved in this. I'm just going to tell both of them, 'This is the list I put together, these ar the people I want. You can invite whoever you want to the wedding, but the shower should be close friends and family only.'

I wouldn't mind. She is throwing it and if she wants to invite some more people, let her. You are not paying for it, and you'll get more gifts! If you really feel uncomfortable, then talk to her about it. Good Luck!

The shower isn't only for the bride! Its not MY wedding or MY shower, its OUR wedding and OUR shower. I know there is girly items and games played at the shower and all that fuzz but it is an important event for both the bride, groom and their families. The gifts received at the bridal shower are intended for use by the bride and the groom. Therefore it is only right that guests are invited from both sides. FMIL has more people invited from her side then from mine but it is only right that these people who watched FH grow up (and who have had their own showers where FMIL & I went and gave a gift) to be invited to OUR shower.

Maybe I read the post wrong, but I think that the groom and FMILs are often left out of a lot of things and its not really very fair. My parents are paying for my shower and my mother agreed to have FMIL invited whoever she thought should be at the shower.

Ok start throwing the rocks at me.....

I'm just being honest

will these guests also be invited to the wedding?
if so.. .(i ask, bc i know my fmil would probably do the same and not invite them to the wedding..lol)
anyway, if so...more gifts for you! i say why not...

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Posted by RitasEngaged

I would feel a little of the same - but your not paying for it so i would just think about more gifts

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i agree, excellently put rita! lol

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Posted by Its2Snappy

The plot thickens... Now my aunt just called, all pissed off because she doesn't feel like she has enough people from our side! Ugh! I'm not even supposed to be involved in this. I'm just going to tell both of them, 'This is the list I put together, these ar the people I want. You can invite whoever you want to the wedding, but the shower should be close friends and family only.'

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Tell her also it doesn't have to be even on both sides

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Posted by latinaj

will these guests also be invited to the wedding?
if so.. .(i ask, bc i know my fmil would probably do the same and not invite them to the wedding..lol)
anyway, if so...more gifts for you! i say why not...

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Oh wow good point

If you are not inviting them to the wedding DO NOT invite them to the shower - it is wrong

Oh man FMIL does this too. Rule of thumb: if FH and I haven't seen or heard from these people in the past 2 years, than they get no invite. That goes for the wedding and shower. When we did the eparty, both sets of parents wanted to have all these people and thats when we laid the law down. I will be shortening list when the time comes.

Good luck girl!!! Put your fooooottttt dooooowwwnn!

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Posted by Its2Snappy

The plot thickens... Now my aunt just called, all pissed off because she doesn't feel like she has enough people from our side! Ugh! I'm not even supposed to be involved in this. I'm just going to tell both of them, 'This is the list I put together, these ar the people I want. You can invite whoever you want to the wedding, but the shower should be close friends and family only.'

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mine is kind of the same, it has more people from FH's side then my side that are invited to the shower, but I don't care as long as the people from my side are there I will be happy and I have a good time