Idiots (funny)
Idiots...
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone
repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could
give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, 'Would you
like us to call you before we come?' I replied that I didn't see how he
would be able to do
that since our phones weren't working
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could
not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had
just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have
it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The
reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to
cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these
people...
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had
iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' She smiled knowingly and
nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
> IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
> company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is
> fun. We should do
> this more often.' Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each
> other with that deer-
> in-the-headlights stare.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
> and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
> turn on.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
> car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
> service department and
> found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As
> I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
> handle and discovered that it was
> unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' To which he
> replied, 'I know - I already got that side.'
>
> Now don't you feel better?
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone
repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could
give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, 'Would you
like us to call you before we come?' I replied that I didn't see how he
would be able to do
that since our phones weren't working
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could
not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had
just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the
receipt. As luck would have
it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The
reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to
cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of these
people...
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had
iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' She smiled knowingly and
nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
> IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
> company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is
> fun. We should do
> this more often.' Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each
> other with that deer-
> in-the-headlights stare.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
> and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
> turn on.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
> car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
> service department and
> found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As
> I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
> handle and discovered that it was
> unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' To which he
> replied, 'I know - I already got that side.'
>
> Now don't you feel better?
