If his family doesn't leave us alone, there may not be a wedding! :(

Ok, so maybe my favors were a wee bit 'unsual'~but they seem to have caused major problems among BRian's family. She told me she hated them from teh day I should her teh proofer. Oh well...IT'S OUR WEDDING...

We have been engaged since March 2002, and we, well, I...ok, DAWNIE and I, have done all of the planning and Brian and I have done all of the paying.

Let me add that my parents have never met her for more that 15 minutes accumulative over 6 years...My parents called her numerous times when we first got engaged, and she never returned their call. My mother was very hurt by all of this, but never said anythign to BRian, other than oh, did your mother get my calls? His motehr was like oh, I wante dto wait until THIS SUMMER (2003) to call, so we coudl bar b q or something...It's been a year and a half, still waiting for her call.

SO maybe she wasn't thrilled that I was havign it in February~but WE ARE HAVING 300 PEOPLE! WE COULD NOT AFFORD A SATURDAY NIGHT WEDDING IN JUNE! I'm sorry, we just couldn't. So we settled on an off month and she wasn't thrilled at first... she got used to the idea.

ALmost everyday, I email her with planning updates, what I have bought, what we are planning, and the costs. Not once did she offer to help us pay, not until she decided that she wanted a martini bar and a wok station at John ANthony's. I'm sorry, Martini's are included in the price, I am not goign to have them charge me extra to set up an extra station for martinis just beacsue her boyfriend's rich sister and brotehr in law had one at there wedding...
THIS IS OUR WEDDING, no one elses! Ok, I would settle for the wok station and maybe teh caviar station (I would eat from there, probably not many of my friends though), but I really didn't need this extra stuff. If she wanted to pay for it, fine. I was not complaining...

Months pass, and Brian and I didn't hear about her payign for anythign until I brought up the rehearsal dinner. Now, we never expected her to pay for this. We budgeted enough to cover it, and we weren't about to ask her for any money.
I suggested places, she suggested places...she is paying for it, she can have it in a library for all I care. Teh RHD is one thing, our wedding is a totally different affair as far as I am concerned...

Invitations~SIMPLICITY PLANNING called me to confirm the proofer, you haev two weeks to do so...I called her and emailed her becasue I wanted to fax her teh wording, and she never replied so I just sent it in and had her and her ex's name on there. Teh ex is BRian's father. Brian and him have a very close relationship, tehy speak almost every day. I am sorry if you hate him, but you married him and had Brian and I tried to ask you if my wording was ok, but you never replied so I had it printed and that was that...I knwo she passed a comment beacsue his sister mentioned somethign to me, but I shoudn't have to wait and wait and wait for an answer, I had to place teh order and it was grammatically correct and once again, IT IS OUR WEDDING!!!

18 months have passed. I ordered my favors. I'm sorry if they are not classy enough for you and your friends, but Brian and I are also donating $1000 to eitehr Memorial SLoan Kettering or NY-Prespyterian Hospital and I think that shows more class than if I used paper plates on my table.
SO instead of consulting me, Brian's aunt (who I really really liked up until lately when she blows up and starts screaming at me for no reason~Brian says she is liek taht with everyone, so I guess she is finally comfortable with me) picks up two favors for me to decide between...a silevrplated ice cream scoop or a silver plated candle snuffer...

SO I tell her no thank you, it doesn't make sense to have a shot glass taht says I WENT TO BRIAN AND LAURIE'S WEDDING AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY SHOTGLASS~and give them an ice cream scoop, does it? I said if you would liek to help, you can give teh donation. Or I now need centerpieces, I owe $2000 on my honeymoon, I need my invitations to be reprinted...I need an additional 25 menu cards...get teh idea?

SO she tells me that if I want to do a donation considering it means so much to me, I should do it privately and not annouce it to my guests...and I should give out the **** ice cream scoop? SO I am liek what should I do with teh glasses? She tells me to put one at each place setting...uh, no.

(Chorus)


IT'S OUR WEDDING!!!!!!!

Ok, so I go online and pull up all of these things on donations. They, unfortunately, were all in memory of a person who has already passed. HIs aunt is like if you notice, teh peopel that they are giving these in memory of have all died... ok, so now I get P I SS ED ...

My grandfather died of cancer, my grandmotehr died of cancer, my stepfather's father died of cancer, my friend died of cancer last week (28 years old, he had a brain tumor), your mother (Brian's grandmother) died of cancer...

My father has cancer, my sister has cancer, my uncle has cancer...they are alive and it's for research that we want to support! I tell her this. I also tell her taht donations are very in lieu of favors, and (beacsue tehy know JILLNBRAD)
I mention that they might be doing it too.

SHE FREAKED~she starts screaming that I am calling her insnsitive, that I won't let her and BRian's motehr be apart of this wedding...blah, blah, blah.... it annoys teh **** out of me beacsue I have always liked Mary and may times I have passed comments to BRian that she is so nice, I wish she were your motehr instead beacsue we get along so well... now her true colors are out...

SO then his mother writes me...

oh, you won;t let me be a part of my sons wedding, you won't let me and mary and lauren and her boyfriend help, this is our day too...I am teh motehr of teh groom...
HOW WOUDL YOUR MOTEHR FEEL IF YOU DIDN'T LET HER BE A PART OF YOUR PLANNING????
I am so hurt, I just wanted to help....I can't believe it's come down to this...it's our day too...I have waited my whole life for this...


...telling me to get new favors beacsue you don't liek mine are NOT a way of helping! I liek them Brian likes them...


....IT'S OUR WEDDING!


So I am in tears at this point. I calmly and calmly write back that I am sorry you feel this way, but helping with our wedding is not, 'If I don't liek what you are doing, let me pay to have it done again so it's teh way I like it...'...

And I brought up teh point that the only problem my motehr has had with this wedding is teh fact taht she never met teh motehr of teh man I am marrying. That she see's is a problem...

I said that I have advised and consulted with you on every decision we have made. We have been engaged for a year and a half and you haev NEVER offered to pay for our favors or anything else unles it's somethign you disapproved of...
She writes me today and is liek we need to sit down and discuss this beacsue all of out feelings have been hurt...WHATEVER....it's a day for all of us... NO, IT IS NOT A DAY FOR ALL OF US. It's our wedding. It's more than havign her pay for it, it's the fact taht we should have just gotten married on the beach somewhere like Brian originally wanted to, and we wouldn't be dealign with all of this. I said to her why can't you just be happy that we love eachotehr instead of worryign about how elegant everything needs to be? IT'S OUR DAY, OUR WEDDING!!!