If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
divabride
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If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Ugh!! Why is it that I dread when people ask me how many kids Im having. Yes, Im the 1% that does not want to have children. I've always known this, and Im comfortable with that. But when people ask and I answer, they look at me like Im doing something wrong. Or worse yet, they tell me I'll change my mind. Just as some people have always know they've wanted children, I've always known I didnt. I wish there were a way to explain this, but on the flipside, why should I? Isnt it our decision and no one elses? Anyone else have this problem?
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Posted by divabride
Isnt it our decision and no one elses?
Absolutely.
ChristineC68
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
You should say it's none of your business and then ask the offending party an insanely personal question and see how they like it.
Kriss2c
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
I often wonder if people realize just how rude they come off to be.
IrishTracy
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
A friend of mine has the same problem. She loves kids. But, just doesn't want any of her own. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Tell the people to mind their own buisness.
shelly3950
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
I think it is so rude! When people ask that question just say something like we'll see. Who the hell knows?? I want 2. I may not be able to have any. I may have 3. Who the hell knows? Its not entirely up to you anyway. Nature/ G-d has some involvment there.
I think that question is up there with (whn you aren't engaged), so when are you two getting married- from people who barely know you!
julybride44
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
People can be sooo rude! I don't want to birth children either; I want to adopt. People have a fit and sit there mulling over why I wouldn't want 'my own' children. It's so rude.
Oddly, they tend to do the same thing when they find out I'm vegetarian. They go on about it forever. I've been veg for 6 years, I don't lecture them on what they eat-they shouldn't lecture me.
Jenn524
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
I have a friend that's in the same situation. She decided to make it easier on herself and make people feel stupid so she tells them that she can't have kids. Shuts people right up and it makes them feel stupid for pushing.
september2004
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
eh, sometimes i think people are not necessarily rude, just curious and need some 'filler conversation'... i would have no problem stating i don't want them and that be it! i have so many friends that don't want kids, they don't get offended unless asked repeatedly by the same person. also, people have been known to change their minds...
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
i dont think people intentionally try and be rude they just dont realize how what there saying sounds. i would get upset when people would constantly ask me when are you getting married all the time because i got married at 31. i was annoyed at first but then i would think to my self wow this person must be really be bored with there own life to care *** im doing with mine lol. i wouldnt let people get you down its your choice to have or not children and its none of there business. i think its great that your standing up for what you beleive in
sarahthegreat
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
i don't understand how getting married, then having kids goes hand in hand. that's a very rude question for someone to ask and i would just walk away, hopefully the person who asked will get the idea
Maribelle7777
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
It's 100% your (and your FH's business) whether or not you want children. And when people want to know, say 'Why do you want to know?' That usually shocks them enough to shut up.
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
People should mind their own business!
oneday
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Posted by divabride
Ugh!! Why is it that I dread when people ask me how many kids Im having. Yes, Im the 1% that does not want to have children. I've always known this, and Im comfortable with that. But when people ask and I answer, they look at me like Im doing something wrong. Or worse yet, they tell me I'll change my mind. Just as some people have always know they've wanted children, I've always known I didnt. I wish there were a way to explain this, but on the flipside, why should I? Isnt it our decision and no one elses? Anyone else have this problem?
I can completely relate!! I too have always felt I just didn't want any. I have one neice now who I absolutely ADORE and another one due next month who I'm sure I will also love, but I just don't want my own. When my mom was alive, I felt bad cause I know it used to make her sad(grandchildren and all) and that I could ALMOST understand cause she was my mother. I don't know if find it so much rude that people ask, as very annoying when they ask 'when?' and I answer, 'not planning on it' they looked surprised first and then like to tell me 'oh, you'll change you're mind'. I want to know how they know more about what I want than I do!!! People really need to realize that just because some people want that, not everyone does!!!
RedHead
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
I get the same looks when i say i want one child. I get to hear ALL about how bratty only children are and how they have psychological problems...I just say...Ummm well i got my masters degree at Columbia Univeristy in Developmental Psychology and Psychopathology ...thank you for your concern but i think i am well informed on the environmental impact on kids and having opinionated, rude parents is MUCH WORSE than being an only child!
F***'EM!
DO what you want!
Summer05
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
My FH and I are not sure if we want to have children yet and many people keep giving us a hard time about it.
About a year ago my FMIL had the nerve to say to me and my father that I should not bother finishing graduate school, instead we should start having babies!!! Needless to say that was the last conversation eaiter one of my parent have had with my FMIL!
Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Come talk to the people I tell that I would rather get 2 more dogs...
I am really not 100% sure I want kids. I mean I know I will have them but it is soooo scary to think about.
But all the people I have told, except my aunt who is without a doubt a bad mom with my brat of a cousin, have said to me... 'whatever makes you 2 happy.'
It is YOUR choice! I respect you more for making the decision, than some people who woul dhave kids and not truly want them.
divabride
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Posted by diamondgrlie
I respect you more for making the decision, than some people who woul dhave kids and not truly want them.
My thoughts exactly!!! Thanks for saying it so eloquently!!!!
Irishbride
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
Fh and I dont want kids either. People make me feel like there is something wrong with me for not wanting them. I have 3 friends who just had babies and I love them but I dont want my own.
HearzBellz
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Re: If I dont want kids, I shouldnt have to explain myself!!
I get it all the time, too. I have recently been considering it, but I do not think 100% that it is for me, so why bring a child into the world 'just to see?'
And then if I say MAYBE one, people always say...'Oh that's mean, your child should have a brother or sister.' There's never a way to satisfy these people
I used to tell people that I want to be like Oprah, rich, single, in a big house with a butt-load of dogs & no kids!
