If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
mao0426
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If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
If someone is paying for something...and they offered...do you have say in it? or is it their decision and no discussions or questions asked...I dont want to get into details so I hope this makes sense
angl2001
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
i think you should...what if you dont like it??
mao0426
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
FH seems to think it doesnt matter...since we arent paying...we cant argue
Luvbsb4eva
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Definatley not, it's your wedding!
My parents are paying for my wedding, and they have never tried to make the decisions, they realize that it is my wedding, the day I've been dreaming of forever... just because they offer to pay doesn't give them the right to take over your wedding.
angl2001
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
what exactly is it? if you dont mind me asking?
Snick n Nick
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
You should definitely get a voice, and a strong one! My parents are paying for many things, and they have been trying so hard NOT to give their opinions so we get what we want....both my mom and FMIL have a battlecry of 'It's your wedding, you should have what you want!'
Guess I'm just really lucky!
mao0426
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
The Rehearsal Dinner
angl2001
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
thats what i figured......well.. i think they should take into consideration what kind of food you and your family likes....i guess it would be ok to pick the place but if you and your fqamily hates chinese food ....and they love it and want it at a chinese place that should be a NO NO! They shuld def take all things into consideration
MrsJones2B
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
As for the RD .. . .Hmm. . .yes, you have a bit of a say so, but dont be petty about it because they're taking things off your hands., by paying for it.
But i can understand the frustration you wanna know and control everything, but sometimes we gotta let it go.
RnKHStill4eva
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
You should have choices and hold some decision making weight. Only some one really selfish would offer to pay for something for YOU but not care what it is YOU want. I mean whats the point if thats the case???? I would tell them to keep the money its obvisouly more about them than it is you and your FH.... Okay maybe thats a little drastic, especially since its probably family(yours or his). I would just be very very unhappy, QUIET but unhappy
MrsHtobe
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Umm, you should have a say, of course. I would just make sure to handle it in a tactful way, considering they are paying. I don't think I would personally complain about the RD unless I thought it was going to be a problem - like they don't want to invite all the people I planned on inviting or they wanted to have it somewhere no one would like the food.
JMO
mao0426
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Its not a control issue...its that we have 2 months to go and I have come up with several suggestions and have made all the plans and it seems like it doesnt matter what we want or what we like...FH and I have a favorite restaurant and that was counted out right away...if it were simple I would be ok with it...but I feel like its making things worse for me...I wish it would just be taken off my hands and I didnt have to know about it!!! Then I would be very very grateful!
MissMath
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Posted by mao0426
FH seems to think it doesnt matter...since we arent paying...we cant argue
thats bull.....they can have an opinion, but if its something you don't agree with thats not right.
My mom is paying for the wedding as a gift to us. She lets me do what I want. Just b/c someone else is paying doesn't mean they can hold things over your head or tell you what you should have at your own wedding.
The only thing I had to let my mom have control over is the guest list.
Mici n KC
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Posted by mao0426
Its not a control issue...its that we have 2 months to go and I have come up with several suggestions and have made all the plans and it seems like it doesnt matter what we want or what we like...FH and I have a favorite restaurant and that was counted out right away...if it were simple I would be ok with it...but I feel like its making things worse for me...I wish it would just be taken off my hands and I didnt have to know about it!!! Then I would be very very grateful!
What suggestions have they made?
mao0426
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Posted by RnKHStill4eva
You should have choices and hold some decision making weight. Only some one really selfish would offer to pay for something for YOU but not care what it is YOU want. I mean whats the point if thats the case???? I would tell them to keep the money its obvisouly more about them than it is you and your FH.... Okay maybe thats a little drastic, especially since its probably family(yours or his). I would just be very very unhappy, QUIET but unhappy
My words sounded more like...shove it!!! but I knew I couldnt say that to the person or to FH
mao0426
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
Posted by Mici n KC
Posted by mao0426
Its not a control issue...its that we have 2 months to go and I have come up with several suggestions and have made all the plans and it seems like it doesnt matter what we want or what we like...FH and I have a favorite restaurant and that was counted out right away...if it were simple I would be ok with it...but I feel like its making things worse for me...I wish it would just be taken off my hands and I didnt have to know about it!!! Then I would be very very grateful!
What suggestions have they made?
The other party has made NO suggestions...just I dont like this we need to look somewhere else
Mrs. V 2008
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no way!!!!! its still your wedding!
bemyyoko
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
my opinion on it is this... if it is for your wedding you should get a say. my parents have been amazingly generous and are paying for 99% of my wedding day. they have been amazing about not forcing their choices or opinions on me for FH. they keep saying 'it's YOUR wedding, do what you want' FH and I have still kept them in the loop and have asked for help with choices and what not.
The rehearsal dinner, for whatever reason, I feel a lot differently about. FMIL knows I don't like seafood so we couldn't have it at a seafood place... other than that i gave her total control b/c she's the one paying for it, and it is not my wedding day. I didn't even think to put my two cents in b/c I didn't feel like the 'bride card' comes into play there...
I don't think there is a right or wrong here, people will have differing views on this subject.
hyphenbride
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Re: If someone else is paying for something for your wedding...do the get the only vote?
I'm here to disagree with everyone. If someone is paying for something, they can control it. 100%. Completely if they want to.
I think it's great that a lot of us girls have parents and FILs who are generous with their money and not so generous with their opinions.
If my parents and FH's parents wanted to control our wedding decisions, we wouldn't have accepted the money and probably would have gotten married in NC (where we live) instead of NY to save money.
Giving up control is one of the downsides to accepting money from others.
blaine08
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my mom is paying for the shower and helping with our wedding. Believe me, she has ALOT to say and has ALOT of opinions that clash with mine. I just compromise. I wanted high CP she likes low, so i had them changed to low but with the same flowers. For the shower, I really liked one venue, but it was too exp and i would never want my mom to pay for more than she should, so I picked a less exp place.
