My assistant at work asked me what the etiquette is when a shower has been held and the wedding was cancelled. I said I would give the gifts back. Is there a rule of thumb?
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I'm not sure. I think I would give the gifts back though.
soontobemrsd325
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
Absolutly give back the gifts. But considering a shower is often given a few months before the wedding, it might be such a hard time for anyone to think straight.
jms100303
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I would definately give the gifts back. My sister was the MOH for her college roommate and threw her a shower with her mother at a country club. The very next week the wedding was cancelled! Not only did we not get our gifts back, we never received a thank you.
I know she was going through a difficult time, but even months later when they both moved on she could have even sent out a mass thank you letter or something.
piat79
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I would give all the shower gifts back and any engagement gifts as well.
SuzBride
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
Ultimate wedding.com says 'When a wedding is called off or canceled, then all of the gifts need to be returned to the givers, even the monogrammed and personalized ones. Include a brief note with each gift you're returning, thanking the person for their thoughtfulness and explaining that the wedding will not be taking place.'
I would definitely return all the presents anyways (except some people got me some edible stuff for engagement presents - so obviously that isn't returnable! )
kellwolfe
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
totally have to give them back - I think .....
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I would definitely give the gifts back!
katieshope
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I would give them back too!
troutster
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I would give them back
leighdvm
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I can speak from experience........
I was engaged to a *&(^%$# 7 years ago. My shower was 5 months before the wedding. We had our own place and all the appliances and towels and sheets, etc. were put to use. After I caught him cheating TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING, I couldn't very well give his Aunt Ethel the used toaster oven (w/out the box it came in obviously).
Any checks I received before the wedding were returned though.
BUT, if the gifts were all in their boxes and unused, I would have returned them. In my situation, I couldn't.
suven
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
the gifts from the shower go back, as well as any early wedding gifts that may have been given.
My good friend was in a bridal party and the wedding got cancelled 2 WEEKS before the wedding. The mother of the bride wrote out a check to everyone for the value of the shower gift. The mother of the bride returned them herself. She also refunded the girls for the money that the spent on the dresses.
My friend joked, 'I'm still out for all of the shipping costs I paid'
marymoon
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
You're supposed to absolutely give every gift back
JanuaryBride06
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
In 1998, a family member cancelled her wedding after receiving many gifts. People STILL talk about how she never returned the gifts.
From past experience....I was also engaged 3 years ago and although we did not get to the point of having a bridal shower, we did receive a couple of engagement presents. I made it a point of offerring to return/returning all of the presents received and in most cases my family members told me to just keep the gifts, since they didn't need an extra forman grill etc.
My point is that you need to acknowledge the receipt of the gifts and send them back if at all possible.
Mystere
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
give the gifts back
BCTM33
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
Give the gifts back and if it is monogrammed or used give the monetary value back in cash or giftcards,
MissingTheBGene
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I'd give the gifts back as well.
boobobunny
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
I would give back the gifts....that were from my family and friends...and leave it up to him to return those from his family and friends.
HearzBellz
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Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?
DH & I were just talking about this with some friends last week. We all have a common friend who was supposed to get married about 4 years ago. They never did, but never returned any of their wedding or engagement gifts. Some of us gave substantial gifts b/c we knew we were paying for the wedding themselves, and we were supposed to be in the BP. Between me, DH & the other couple, we gave $2000.
I thought it was pretty cr@ppy that they kept it even though they never got married. They also stopped talking to us all after they called it off. (ETA: they are still dating, but will not get married)
