If the wedding is cancelled....?

Original post by Goldi1021

Jun 16, 2005 08:30 AM

My assistant at work asked me what the etiquette is when a shower has been held and the wedding was cancelled. I said I would give the gifts back. Is there a rule of thumb?

kia74 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:17 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

give the gifts back

SomethingBlu Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:18 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

All gifts go back and so does the ring (if she called it off). If the wedding happens and they are divorced under a year, all wedding gifts go back as well.

akajt98 Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:23 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Posted by SomethingBlu

All gifts go back and so does the ring (if she called it off). If the wedding happens and they are divorced under a year, all wedding gifts go back as well.

Is that really the case?? I was under the impression that if the wedding actually occurs the gifts are your to keep (or divide in the divorce, lol) regardless of how long the marriage lasts.

sarahthegreat Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:36 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

there is really no grey area as far as this kind of thing goes - give the gifts back. i understand that if a wedding gets called off a few months before its supposted to happen, the brides first reaction is not going to be 'my god, i've got to send all my gifts back right now.' but done the road a few weeks, she needs to start sending them back

sarahthegreat Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:36 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Posted by SomethingBlu

All gifts go back and so does the ring (if she called it off). If the wedding happens and they are divorced under a year, all wedding gifts go back as well.

i completely agree.

06NovBride Posted: Jun 16, 2005 12:52 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

I think you are supposed to give the gifts back. We got a bunch of stuff from our registry for our e-party and we used some of them..my sister said what if by some chance we break up...we would have to give them back.

hocus Posted: Jun 16, 2005 01:13 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

I think this is why people tell you not to use the gifts. (Though you should open then and send a thank you)

No one plans on canceling your wedding -- but it does happen.

PUPADOLCE Posted: Jun 16, 2005 01:18 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

How about when a wedding is cancelled right after the bridesmaid dresses are ordered? The store insistes the girls pay in full and pick up ALL dresses.

Who should pay for these dresses?

suven Posted: Jun 16, 2005 01:19 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Hey, if gifts have to be returned if a divorce happens within 1 year, than my friend owes me $300

When it happened, this couple was told that since the marriage took place, they could keep the gifts.

SomethingBlu Posted: Jun 16, 2005 03:51 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Posted by akajt98

Posted by SomethingBlu

All gifts go back and so does the ring (if she called it off). If the wedding happens and they are divorced under a year, all wedding gifts go back as well.

Is that really the case?? I was under the impression that if the wedding actually occurs the gifts are your to keep (or divide in the divorce, lol) regardless of how long the marriage lasts.

I remember reading this on Dear Abby or the like...really, it's up to the person and depends on the circumstance...who knows?

bluesashbride Posted: Jun 16, 2005 04:16 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

give the gifts back if AT ALL possible and if they are used and un-returnable, send a note. they were given as wedding gift--no wedding no gift.

N.Y.bride Posted: Jun 16, 2005 04:21 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

I would say at least offer them back. Im sure people would say no.

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: Jun 16, 2005 04:24 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

i dont have any experience with this but i think that it would be sooo hard for the bride to return gifts in her difficult time. i would try to return all the monetary gifts but i probably would not return all the appliances unless something cost a huge amount of money. i just would not have another shower the next time i am to get married. i dont think that if any of my friends or family broke off a wedding i would be thinking about the gift i gave them and wanting them to return it.

Suzannebride Posted: Jun 16, 2005 04:44 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Posted by SuzBride

Ultimate wedding.com says 'When a wedding is called off or canceled, then all of the gifts need to be returned to the givers, even the monogrammed and personalized ones. Include a brief note with each gift you're returning, thanking the person for their thoughtfulness and explaining that the wedding will not be taking place.'

I would definitely return all the presents anyways (except some people got me some edible stuff for engagement presents - so obviously that isn't returnable! )

I actually read something the other day about how you shouldn't send back something monogrammed, because they can't use it, but you should send a gift card or something to those people.

GsCM4EVA Posted: Jun 16, 2005 05:12 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

cjik Posted: Jun 16, 2005 05:15 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

I've always heard that the gifts need to be returned to the giver. This seems the right thing to do in my opinion, under the circumstances.

It will be a hassle, but this is what should happen.

cocoa Posted: Jun 16, 2005 07:23 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Since this is happening currently to a coworker, she is returning the gifts.

janelovesharry Posted: Jun 16, 2005 09:48 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

I agree that the gifts should go back, however, I have never heard the rule that if the couple gets divorced within a year that those gifts must be returned too. I am not sure if I agree with that, but definatly think gifts should be returned if the marriage doesn't take place

WedHead Posted: Jun 16, 2005 09:58 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Personally, I would feel horrible taking a gift back. It's a bad enough situation as it is, I would just cut my losses and be thankful the wedding was cancelled before the couple made a mistake.

suven Posted: Jun 16, 2005 10:04 PM

Re: If the wedding is cancelled....?

Posted by WedHead

Personally, I would feel horrible taking a gift back. It's a bad enough situation as it is, I would just cut my losses and be thankful the wedding was cancelled before the couple made a mistake.

I think (if it were me) I would do the returning myself and send the giftgivers either a check for the amount, or a giftcard for the amount. I wouldn't carry over a toaster oven or a coffee pot to someone's house. I'd return it and give them back the cost of the gift.