If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

kam29 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:47 AM

If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

isn't it standard to give a gift? I always have and while I was speaking with a friend who got married a year ago she said that people who didn't attend the wedding did not give gifts and that I should not expect them to.

I was just curious if this was as shocking to anyone else.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:48 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

most of the folks who didn't attend to our wedding didn't send a gift.

oh well

CL122705 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:48 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

My family we do send a gift if we cant make to a event. Some people do and some people dont.

lanabean Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:48 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Be prepared! It definitely happens....

I always give a gift if I don't attend. Usually send a check, or sometimes send something from the registry.

ChrissynRicky Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:49 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I give a gift whenever I cannot attend any function.

It's a curteous gesture, but nothing something to be expected.

That being said, I don't expect gifts from those that do not attend the wedding. Who knows what their excuse is for not attending - one could be that they cannot afford to give a gift.

Blu-ize Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:53 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I always do, but not everyone does.

kam29 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:53 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I hope that I was clear, it's not that I 'expect' a gift from people but I was surprised to hear that people don't always send something because I always do.

Mrs. Powell Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:56 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

There were people who could not attend my wedding and they did send us a gift even though we were not looking for them to.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:58 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Posted by kam29

I hope that I was clear, it's not that I 'expect' a gift from people but I was surprised to hear that people don't always send something because I always do.

we had a few people who attended and didn't give us a gift. like one of DH's brothers and one of my sisters!

ShortBride Posted: Jan 13, 2006 11:59 AM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I wouldn't expect them to, but we had some people that didn't attend that were very, very generous

CaseyVM214 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:00 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I do not think you should expect people to give a gift who dont attend.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:03 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Some people do, some people don't.

jilmadison Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:06 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I try to give, but don't always. But after my shower were I was surprised at how many gifts I received from poeple who could not attend, I am going to make sure I am always on top of my gift giving!

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:07 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Well, I would, and I think it is an appropriate gesture, but I wouldn't expect it.

nygirl77 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:08 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I've done both. But I think I was being spiteful about the one I didn't give a gift to. I felt like I was a B list guest or she felt she HAD TO invite me. So I said I couldn't go - it was also Thanksgiving day weekend, so I made up an excuse that we were going out of town for the weekend. The other wedding I didn't attend I sent a bunch of stuff from the registry to her.

rafiki Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:19 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

I think it depends on who's wedding it is. If it's someone who I really like then I'll send a gift, but if it's a friend of my FI's (or an old friend of mine) who he hasn't seen in like 10 years and never speaks to and whom I've never met, then no, why should I send a gift?

ellebelle1 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:53 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Yes, it is courteous to send a gift, but honestly if you do not know the person that well, then it might not be worth the money.

Maybride519 Posted: Jan 13, 2006 12:55 PM

Re: If you are invited to a wedding but can't attend

Personally...I would give a gift, and I think it is proper etiquitte, however, if you are not close with the person who is not attending, I wouldn't be expecting one.