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If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

Jan60504 Posted:

If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

do you have to invite them with a guest? We are really trying to limit our guest list (just can't afford too many!) and so FI and I would like to invite our single friends by themselves. Is this ok or a big no-no?
kptoys Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

If they are a teenager I wouldnt invite them with a guest if you are trying to limit the guest list but if they are an adult then I would invite them with a guest. JMO

prncssrachel Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

We are inviting people who may not know anyone else with a guest if they have no bf or gf. But there's really not many of them. At this point, maybe one or two people. Our friends all know eachother and don't have a desire to bring in strangers just to have a date. I guess we're lucky that way.

dee6580 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

I invited two girls from FI TKD school. They are around 19/20yrs old and i've only met them 2 or 3 times. He's know them since they were 9 so he said he had to invite them.
I invited them w/o a guest and they wound up putting on the response card:

Ms. Jane Doe and Guest.
Number of people 2

Oh well
And they didnt respond right away i think they were trying to find someone to go with them.
I told my mom 'This ain't the friggen prom you know!'
jess2504 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

IMO, you should invite them to bring a guest unless they are under 18. Many people will opt not to bring a guest, and you may be surprised at how many people who have boyfriends/girlfriends may go without them.

ChristineC68 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

You are not required to invite single/available people with a guest. Basically I think it's ok as long as they will know other single people at the wedding. IMO there's nothing worse then to be sitting at a wedding as the only single person (with no date allowed) at a table with couples.

Stavia Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

When we first were planning I thought we were going to do this, in the end we were able to invite everyone with a guest(though I think a lot won't bring guests because their from out of state), but I think its very OK to not invite a guest with every single guest. I'm not sure if it is etitquetlly(sp.) correct, but I think people will understand.

Dani00518 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

I would definitely invite them with a guest...I just think its the proper thing to do

lulu Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

I invited everyone over 18 with a guest, but I know most of my single friend wwon't bring one.

Helene718 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

I invited anyone over 18 with a guest. To me that was the right thing to do.

julybride444 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

We did not invite some of our friends 'with guest'. They understood that we are trying to keep it small. Same for adults that are family members, and we know that they won't come with a guest unless they feel they are supposed to.Also, even our cousins and my little sister (ages 18-21) are not invited with guest, and they all have boyfriends. But, they are not serious, and we shouldn't have to pay for some kid to come to our wedding.

We do have a couple of people who we are invited that are single that won't know anybody at the wedding...we did invite them with guest so they won't feel isolated.

Each guest would have meant we had to cut people we know and care about out-we didn't want to do that.

I think people will understand. If they are dead set on bringing a guest they will write and guest on their reply card. At that point, it is perfectly reasonable and acceptable to call them and indicate that guests are not invited-but we are choosing not to do that.

I have checked all of the etiquette books on this-including Emily Post...and it is perfectly fine. The etiquette books are also the ones who say you can call and indicate no guests if you want.

You are not obligated to pay for a bunch of people you don't know to come to your wedding....
julybride444 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

Here's what I found on www.theknot.com in the etiquette section:

Q. We're having a small wedding. Do we have to invite Mr. Smith 'and Guest'? One friend told me that if a guest is not seriously dating someone, I can just address the invite to Mr. Smith, and he'll know he's not supposed to invite someone. Is that true? What do I do if such guests reply for two anyway?

A. Most guests will understand that without 'and Guest' or another name on the invitation, it's meant for them alone. Especially if you are having a small wedding, you probably aren't going to invite everyone to bring an escort, unless it's a fiance(e) and/or a serious significant other. Technically, you're *never* supposed to write 'and Guest'; instead, you should find out the name of the significant other. What to do if some clueless souls reply for two? Call them up and explain that you're having an intimate wedding and, unfortunately, you were not able to invite everyone with a guest. They should understand that.
cw0904 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

Etiquette went right out the door with me. My guests are very balsy. I put every single name of the family members we were inviting on the envelope but someone would still add another person to the rsvp card. They don't get it or they just don't want to read or probably can't read. Who knows!!

What I did for our e-party and will do the same for the wedding is this: teenagers NO guest. I was never invited to a party or wedding when I was a teen with a guest. My guest was my sister. And honestly, I changed boyfriends as much as I changed my hair style when I was a teenager. I would not want a teen with a boyfriend/girlfriend at my wedding. People over 21-if I knew they were dating someone I would find out the person's name on the envelope. If not I would write and Guest. Most of these people are actively dating. So I didn't find out till the last minute if they would have a date for the e-party.
karen32 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

we are not inviting single people with guests unless they are in a serious relationship. i can't see spending $100pp for someone to bring their 'flavor of the moment'. between FI and I, there will be plenty of single people and through the e-party and other events, everybody knows each other.

nrvbrd Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

You will get so many opinions on this, most of them being- that you should allow an & Guest.

I have struggled with this as well. I will be allowing and guest as much as I do not like it. We have quite a few single people we are inviting and it kills me to think I am paying for someone's 'flavor of the month'
SeptemberBride03 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

My FH and I are paying for almost our entire wedding ourselves (as of now we've gotten less than 5k in help from our parents), so throwing a wedding on LI leaves a lot for us to pick up. It is important to me to have my loved ones there and I wouldn't want to exclude someone close to me just so someone who is single can bring a random person. We, too, struggled with the ettiquette of this. In the end, we invited everyone with a guest except for 6 guys (3 of them are FH's fraternity brothers, eternally single and always go to weddings solo - the other 3 are HS friends of mine and it came down to inviting the one I'm closest to w/guest or all three solo and I decided to go that way).

KarenK122 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

We are having a 'smallish' wedding and are paying for the entire thing ourselves so unless the single person is in a committed relationship they were not invited with a guest.

Though to go back on what I said...If the money was no object and I wasn't trying to keep it small then I would invite a guest. More the merrier!!!
pschica Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

we are inviting guests for those who are adults....it ****s that we have to pay for them but we both know we hated going to weddings alone!!

butterfly20 Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

under 18 yo doesnt require a guest,

if the singles are invited and will know other people there then you dont have to invite guests for them. But if they wont be seated with people they know then it is proper to give them a guest.. Just try and think of how you would feel, then do that!
Chloegirl Posted:

Re: If you are inviting someone who does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend...

I am inviting everyone with a guest. More people have significant others so its just easier to let everyone choose if they want to bring someone or not.

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