If you are wondering if it's worth it...

I’m sorry this is a little lengthy and kind of heavy, but I write this not just to vent I guess, but for anyone planning a wedding that wonders if all the headache and hassle is worth it. I lost a number of nights sleep sweating details here and there and if I knew then, what I know now, I would have saved myself the concern. It’s inevitable to worry, but I ask you to not lose sight of why else you are getting married. Yes, your big day is about the love you and your spouse share together, but it is also a day you share with your loved ones. Memories that will last a life time and for me, memories I will cling to until my last breath for more than one reason.

I was never the little girl that dreamed about a big wedding. I remember going over finances with my wife during the planning and asking if we were sure we didn’t want to just go to the justice of the peace and put all the money towards the best honeymoon ever. With each little detail, I asked myself, is all this really worth it? Who am I trying to impress? I love my woman, that’s all that should matter, not a beautiful ceremony and kick *** party. Despite my hemming and hawing, we went ahead with the plans and it was the best day of our lives. I married an amazing woman in front of my family and friends. Everyone had a blast and is still talking about it to this day and one of the reasons is because of my spirited grandmother who was cutting up a rug. She was the star of the reception with people lining up to dance with her and take in all of her glory in seeing her oldest granddaughter get married. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that exactly a month after the happiest day of my life, I would experience the saddest day of my life when my grandmother passed away. I spoke to her the day before and she was still talking about how much fun she had and how wonderful it was that so many people had showed up to love and support me and my wife. She told me I was very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Every week she’d ask when we would receive the pictures and when the video would be ready so we could sit down and watch together. It’s now that I appreciate my wedding on a whole new level. Life is filled with hardships and our loved ones pull together to be by our side to support us and sometimes we forget to celebrate the good. I have always tried to live life to the fullest and appreciate the small moments, but I will always remember that day and be grateful for that one last banger party with my abuelita.