If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

Bridex100 Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:11 PM

If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

Would you have spent more or less for your wedding???

I'm looking at a wide range of venues (anywhere from $100 pp to $450 pp)

I'm realizing it's about opportunity costs. Down payment on house, new car, new furniture, vacations as newlyweds, etc...

johnsae Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:12 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

whoah- what is $450/pp? Even the most expensive NYC venues I looked at weren't that much!

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:17 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

I would spend exactly what I did. we kept to a budget and had a relatively small wedding.

Bridex100 Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:19 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

St. Regis is $350 + 22% gratuity + 8.375% gratuity = $463 pp

Waldorf is in the $300 range before gratuity

Four Seasons starts at $275.

FallBride05 Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:20 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

Based on the size of our wedding, I don't think I would have changed anything.

johnsae Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:22 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

Posted by Bridex100

St. Regis is $350 + 22% gratuity + 8.375% gratuity = $463 pp

Waldorf is in the $300 range before gratuity

Four Seasons starts at $275.

ahh..I thought you meant base price, but with all the gratuities and service charges, that makes sense.

lcherian Posted: Dec 12, 2005 02:23 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

there's a thread on this very topic somewhere...can someone find it?

eta: nevermind i found it and bumped it!

frosty Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:09 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

I wouldn't change what we did. We spent very little (about $40 pp), but didn't do a traditional reception either. We did a brunch instead of a dinner. I got a lot of positive feedback from our guests -- they really enjoyed it because it was unusual.

dmag1 Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:31 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

we spent a lot of money on our wedding and while we had help from both sets of parents it was still alot of money to spend for a 6 hour party. That being said, everyone loved it and more people than I can count told us it was the best wedding they ever went to. As far as we are concerned, it was the best day in our lives and was nothing short of magical. So, to answer your question, we wouldn't change a thing and it was worth every penny.

Backinneyork Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:37 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

We spent a ton, and during the process I was worried about much we were spending and if it would be worth it. It totally was! I had the best day ever, I was able to do all the things I wanted and I have no regrets. I definitely do not recommend going into debt for a wedding - but if you can afford it, go for it.

A lot of people say - its just one day - but that's the thing - its just one day and you only get to do it once, so have fun with it!

otherme Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:45 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

While i absolutely LOVED our wedding and it truly was an incredible day.. I don't think that one day is worth all the money it costs. When i think of the possible down payment of a house that is now gone..

While the place you chose to have the event does make a big difference in the 'feel' of the day - you have to ask yourself if its really worth spending $300 a person vs. $100 or less.
Now that its all said and done for me...i look back and think of the things that I will always rememeber - and none of them are the 'tangible' things that we spend so much money on. I won't remember the flowers or the favors or even the food. What i remember is the feeling i felt when walking down the aisle towards my future husband. I'll always remember the intense happiness of the day being surrounded by family and friends.
I could've had my wedding in a barn and i would still have those same feelings.
The extras that everyone gets all caught up in during the planning process are nice.. but IMO not necessary to make or break your day.
If the couple are in love and radiate happiness.. thats what your guests will take home with them as well.

SomethingBlu Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:55 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

Posted by dleeny

I would spend exactly what I did. we kept to a budget and had a relatively small wedding.

Ditto! And buying a house where the DP is minimal to none helped a lot. We got to do it all!

divabride Posted: Dec 12, 2005 03:56 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

I would actually consider spending more money per person with less guests. Does that make sense? I felt the need to get a less expensive venue to accomodate my guest list, when in reality I had my heart set on somewhere more expensive. I should have had it there and just invited less people.

May05Bride Posted: Dec 12, 2005 04:12 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

i would get married in a place that only had one wedding at a time. I would spend a little more on that, but think its worth the extra $$$

N.Y.bride Posted: Dec 12, 2005 04:15 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

I'd pay the same - which was minimal and if you look at my review

here

I had everything everyone else did! I paid about half of your minimum price and my wedding was a beautiful July wedding! Very romantic!

akaMrsT Posted: Dec 12, 2005 04:20 PM

Re: If you could go back??? (for the married folks)

I am not married but have a ton of recently married friends. Each wedding was wonderful but the top two (as far as guests dancing, good music and great food) were the least expensive.

One friend spent $60K for 120 guests since they rented a mansion out of NY. One friend had a DW in the Bahamas (destination for many of us but much of her family lives in Nassau). Another friend spent a grand total of $7K for 100 guests and she had an 11 piece band (they played as a favor). I was in a wedding that was about $25K with 200 guests (outside NYC).

The couple that got married in the Bahamas (for under $4K I might add) bought a new house and they got the certificate of occupancy last week. They had a baby right away too and they are moving into a new house before the end of this year.

The couple (the wedding I was in) is expecting a baby in a few weeks They are also adding a first floor apartment (grandma suite) to their house (groom owned it before they married).

It's all about what the two of you want and when you want to have it

ETA - they all told me they wish they had spent less - even the $7K wedding