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If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

12-3Princess Posted:

If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Hi ladies,

Got a question for ya: If you found out one of your bridesmaids was talking about you all day the day before your wedding, and the day of, what would you do?
Would you confront her, tell her off, ignore her? Would you keep the friendship?

In my case, I found out from my sister that the day before my wedding, this particular girl would roll her eyes and say 'will it ever end?' every time I talked about the wedding - which was probably a lot since I was getting married the next day. Incidentally, she had just gotten married in June, and I listened to her talk about it NONSTOP for two years and was genuinely HAPPY for her.

Then, I found out from another friend that on my wedding day, this bridesmaid ran right up to our mutual friend and said that I was driving her nuts, was being a total B!tch, and was being 'bridezilla.'

I also found out in my cocktail hour that she was bascially talking about how she disagreed with certain things I did at my wedding as compared to hers (all immature stuff like how she'd NEVER get married in NYC, and that LI was so much better, how she had a DJ and would NEVER have a band like I did, etc... all stupid, I'm sure the root of it was probably jealousy because I was happy and maybe she isn't, or just her sheer childishness)...

What do you think you would do about this friend? She was so fake too - coming up to me all day telling me how much she loves me. Yea, I can tell.

Thanks for any opinions and advice!
Mrs. Powell Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I would definitely confront her in a very polite and mild manner way and ask her what if there is something that she would like to let you know. Also tell her that you do not appreciate her talking behind your back especially knowing that you consider her to be a friend. If she feels a certain way about then she should let you know that without making comment to other people.

MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

guess it all depends on how good of a friend she is to you. if this isn't the first time she's done this, i say good riddance and just forget about her. but if you are truly surprised by this, i suppose you could approach her. but really what good will it do? i'm sure she will tell you that she didn't say those things, or they were taken out of context, or exaggerated, or blah blah blah.

this all sounds very HS of her...and really, who needs it? you're a happily married woman now, and quite frankly someone like her doesn't deserve your concern or worry...you have much more important things to think about!

Ang&Rich Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Personally, it sounds to me like she was jealous. I would definitely say something to her - something to the effect of...'So did I understand correctly when I heard that you felt I was being a bizotch to you around the wedding?'

I would bring up the comments comparing her wedding to mine and ask her how she would deal with a friend who did that. Maybe you can talk it all out.

That's just me - I get annoyed with that stuff. Your friends are supposed to be there through the good and the bad. If she was so unhappy about all the wedding talk then she should have said something to you or kept her mouth shut and just understood that you were excited. Why couldn't she share that excitement for you? Also, why compare weddings? JMO
JXNOscar Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I (unfortunately) have friends like this. It's called jealousy. I hate that word and never believed it until it happened to me.

Your wedding day was gorgeous (I saw your pics!!!)

I would WITHOUT QUESTION confront her. How could she EVER talk to your sister about you and expect it wouldnt come back to you.
What else would you talk about the day before your wedding? She probably called you bridezilla bc you had everything so under control and her wedding may have not have had such attention to detail.
Also, (again from my PERSONAL experience) girls who never leave LI are very intimidated about NYC. All my LI girls have no idea why I 'would ever live in NYC' why I had my engagment party here and why am I not looking for a house on LI.

Your wedding was held in the greastest city in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should be proud and happy.

Confront her.
Blu-ize Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Talk to her. Bring it up because it is bothering you. Get it out in the open and take it from there. Don't be confrontational about it, be sincere.

nferrandi Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I would definitely confront her. Tell her how disappointed and hurt you were to find out that she had been saying things about you and your wedding. I personally would let her have it, make her feel guilty and not be friends with her anymore- but that's just me.

johnsae Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

As much as I would want to say something, some things are better left ignored.

Maybe you should just slowly cut ties with her....I mean, what is the use of confronting her now? She is obviously just jealous and maybe she actually might be pleased (in a sick sort of way) that you found out about what she said....if she told everyone around you, it seems that she might have wanted you to find out!
babybug631 Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

First of all your wedding looked fabulous. It looks like you had a great time. I definately think she was jealous. It seems like you had a top-of-the-line wedding, and she felt the need to put everything down. I would definately talk to her.

Naunie Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I would splap her in the face.

roxyspark Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

It sounds like she was so jealous. If it was me, I would confront her, but also be willing to hear what she has to say. If she fesses up and apologizes, then let it go, but if she lies, then tell her you have no time for her.
To think that on one of the most important days of your life, she was being a troll.
Chelle Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Posted by Naunie

I would splap her in the face.




I would confront her ASAP. You know it's just because she was jealous of how AMAZING your wedding was. She was probably afraid that everyone would be talking about how great your day was and not compliment her on her's anymore.

Jealous people with a malicious intent to ruin and sabatoge something precious need to be stopped.

She's just a very immature and stupid girl.

If confronting her doesn't work I'd take Naunie's advice!
mark'smama Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I would simply confront her and let her know that 'in the future, if there is a future left to our friendship, just watch what you say and to whom you say it.'

This way your dont have to waste your time going into details of how rude and witchy she is and you get your point across!!!!
103005FallBride Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Definitely confront her. It's got to be jealousy, but being she's married herself... I don't know.

She's obviously a good friend being she's in the bridal party....

I hope everything works out ok. I'd hate for you to look at your wedding pics years down the line and get sick thinking of what she's said.
LisaJill Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Posted by Naunie

I would splap her in the face.


If you want... I will do it!!! LOL
Mrs. L, if you confront her, one of two things will happen. Either she will deny it (and where will that leave you) or she will make up some reason for her ridiculous statements. Either way, what do you want? Will you ever trust her again? Is it enough to just appreciate that she is just not a 'good' friend but someone that was around for you and as such should be someone you keep as an acquaintance. Really, I don't think she will say anything that will make you feel comfortable with your friendship ever again. That being said, it seems like unnecessary stress and conflict for you, especially at one of the best times in your life ever!!! Maybe just step away and when she asks you what is up just tell her that you are not comfortable being ultra-close with her as you have found out from reliable sources that she is a j@ck@$$
wendyz06 Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Sounds like she is jealous. I would say something for sure.

BTW your getting married in the nicest place ever! It was out of my budget

12-3Princess Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Posted by Naunie

I would splap her in the face.




I'm so tempted!
12-3Princess Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

thank you to all of you! Such great advice.

I will probably say something, even though it will not solve anything and I'll never trust her again.

Lisajill: That is just my confrontational nature.

I want her to KNOW I know and feel sufficiently like an idiot. Then, I will probably never speak to her again. I've been reading your responses and thinking about it and I think that if she was a real friend, she'd be happy for me and not act like a selfish, jealous brat. I'd have never done that to HER.

So, with that said, I'll probably confront her by the end of the week... I'll let you girls know how it goes!!!!

mbm750 Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

I would entertain writing her a thank you note - thanks for coming to my wedding and being so supportive by bad mouthing me at my wedding and calling me a bridezilla. It's so nice to know I have friends like you. But I can be bitchy and passive aggressive. I probably would end up writing it and never mailing it, but I'd definitely confront her. And, I might decide to discontinus my friendship with her, but that depends on our history.

melissa8781 Posted:

Re: If you found out your bridesmaid was talking about you at your wedding . ..(LONG)

Im not a very confrontational person and honestly i agree..what would it solve? Maybe to find out her side of the story but you already know the truth..from NUMEROUS people..including your sister so anything she will say is basically BS (to me anyways). This girl really doesn't sound worthy of your friendship.. I would just cut her off.

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