If you had to choose one...

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Posted by OSCARtheGROOM

If it was me(Bri will verify this) I would take the money. I believe Bri should have nothing but the best, and deserves her fairytale wedding. So thats what she's going to get. Thats just the way it is. To me she's the best thing since slice bread, so I'm not going to stop her from having her dream wedding.

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brian, you are the sweetest. you are both lucky to have each other.

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Posted by jantany26

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Posted by OSCARtheGROOM

If it was me(Bri will verify this) I would take the money. I believe Bri should have nothing but the best, and deserves her fairytale wedding. So thats what she's going to get. Thats just the way it is. To me she's the best thing since slice bread, so I'm not going to stop her from having her dream wedding.

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brian, you are the sweetest. you are both lucky to have each other.

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Thank you Tania.

Just to interject -

I do find it so funny that so many of our DH's were more into the 'big wedding' idea than we were ... so much for men not being sentimental and/or romantic

In our case, I definitely was NOT the one who wanted the traditional, big LI wedding- but I knew it meant a lot to DH (and in particular, his family) for us to have a traditional Greek Orthodox ceremony with a traditional reception.

Of course, my arm wasn't twisted either. Once the planning started, I did really get into it and enjoyed the way our day turned out. We kept it as low-key and low-scale as possible, which definitely helped ease our worries about $$ (we paid for 80% of the wedding ourselves). And yes, it was a perfect day, the best day of my life thus far!

But seeing as how we're struggling now to find a bigger place to live and really don't have the money for a DP on a home, I do still wish I had a portion of that money back and we now had a better chance at getting a home (even a little home, I'm not picky! ) In the end, I would have still had my wonderful husband , which is really all that matters as the years go by

It's a hard decision - I don't envy your position. I wish you good luck!

One option we're contemplating, if all goes well, is to buy a house before our wedding date, have the church wedding and then an informal reception at our new home.

I'd like to share the day with everyone, but the demands being placed on us by certain people, the restrictions of tradition and the concerted effort to disregard it as 'our wedding' really leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I didn't want a big wedding to begin with, I wanted to marry Mr Boots and start our life, not the circus that's sprouting up around us!

My feeling is that buying a house lasts longer than a wedding reception. And there's a host of other emotions (I hate being the center of attention, we'd get more say in how we start our life, we wouldn't be restricted by minimum guests etc, it could be more relaxed, less stress or at least stress for something that isn't so transitory).

And again, I'm just not all that into being a traditional bride-to-be!

ETA: in response to Felicia... Mr Boots wanted the big Greek wedding too, and his family is, well, 'involved'.

A big wedding would be nice, but logically speaking, I want a home with my FH, not a snapshot of us doing the chicken dance with people we don't know that well.

I chose the wedding - and would do it again. It's more than 4 hours - it's a lifetime of memories (and I didn't spend my life dreaming of my wedding day).

In the end, we spent more than we set out to spend, we spent a crazy amount on our honeymoon...and we still managed to go into our wedding day with a decent chunk of change in the bank. Coupled with the gifts we received, we wound up with what we had saved for the wedding and a little bit more.

So our house savings is where we would have been had we skipped the wedding and just saved for the house - except now we have these amazing memories of our wedding day and the most incredible memories from our honeymoon...


Best of luck to you...

I've got to say, I had a nice wedding day, and everything was wonderful, but it wasn't the best day of my life. I've enjoyed a day at the beach with DH more than those four hours. It was a very stressful day, one that I didn't actually enjoy too much. I don't like being the center of attention and neither does DH. And I felt spread too thin--I was talking to a hundred guests, not hanging out dancing with my friends, and had drunk old guys who work with my dad hanging on me...

well from my point of view, when we got married we did it at city hall. we didn't have the money so we decided to have 'the wedding' later on.
At first I thought that I wanted a church wedding with a big reception but my dh wasn't to fond of that idea since he's doesn't really likes all the attention. We compromised and decided on going to mexico just us and Alia.
No guests, just us. Intimate and romantic.
I'm happy because it's a beautiful setting and I still get to wear my dress and have my wedding.
You have to do what you feel is best for the both of you. Good luck.

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Posted by jantany26

well from my point of view, when we got married we did it at city hall. we didn't have the money so we decided to have 'the wedding' later on.
At first I thought that I wanted a church wedding with a big reception but my dh wasn't to fond of that idea since he's doesn't really likes all the attention. We compromised and decided on going to mexico just us and Alia.
No guests, just us. Intimate and romantic.
I'm happy because it's a beautiful setting and I still get to wear my dress and have my wedding.
You have to do what you feel is best for the both of you. Good luck.

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sounds beautiful

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Posted by Janice

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Posted by jantany26

well from my point of view, when we got married we did it at city hall. we didn't have the money so we decided to have 'the wedding' later on.
At first I thought that I wanted a church wedding with a big reception but my dh wasn't to fond of that idea since he's doesn't really likes all the attention. We compromised and decided on going to mexico just us and Alia.
No guests, just us. Intimate and romantic.
I'm happy because it's a beautiful setting and I still get to wear my dress and have my wedding.
You have to do what you feel is best for the both of you. Good luck.

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sounds beautiful

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thanks, I can't wait.

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

One option we're contemplating, if all goes well, is to buy a house before our wedding date, have the church wedding and then an informal reception at our new home.

I'd like to share the day with everyone, but the demands being placed on us by certain people,



.

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your not talking about me are you???

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Posted by PrincessConsuela

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

One option we're contemplating, if all goes well, is to buy a house before our wedding date, have the church wedding and then an informal reception at our new home.

I'd like to share the day with everyone, but the demands being placed on us by certain people,



.

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your not talking about me are you???

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Of course not! You're not making demands about my wedding day.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

I've got to say, I had a nice wedding day, and everything was wonderful, but it wasn't the best day of my life.

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Definitely wasn't the best day of my life - but it was memorable.

I think people put too much emphasis on this 'dream day' as it is - b/c it really is just one day.

But if you're talking monetarily - I think it all evens out (at least it did for us)...which is why I would still do the wedding (maybe with some changes - but would keep the HM exactly the same ).

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Posted by Jordan
Definitely wasn't the best day of my life - but it was memorable.

I think people put too much emphasis on this 'dream day' as it is - b/c it really is just one day.

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I agree. It was a memorable day that I will cherish forever, but it wasn't the *best* day ever. It was fun, I'm glad I did it but it wasn't the most magical experience. Planning the wedding took the mystery out of it! By the day of the wedding I was more relieved that I no longer had to worry and just focused on having fun.

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Posted by MonkeyLuv


I didn't want a big wedding to begin with, I wanted to marry Mr Boots and start our life, not the circus that's sprouting up around us!

My feeling is that buying a house lasts longer than a wedding reception. And there's a host of other emotions (I hate being the center of attention, we'd get more say in how we start our life, we wouldn't be restricted by minimum guests etc, it could be more relaxed, less stress or at least stress for something that isn't so transitory).

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I had a lot of those same feelings. We considered other options, such as a church weddign & then a restaurant reception--not onehad a hosue big enough, but I like that idea too.

We cut out a lot of traditions, b/c we didn't want it to be a 'spectacle' and a we kept the guest list down as much as we could, but we had to give in to MIL a little bit. Itink also havigna short engagment cut down on the stress, b/c although some things were rushed, it was less time for people to try & get us to do things differently.

In the end , I love what we ended up with, all of our family wa so happy & it was grea tot have everyone coem together & big in such good spirits even if it was for just one day.