If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

bostoninLI Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:05 PM

If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

Is it alright to say 'let's not give each other gifts?' I haven't asked her about this yet, I was curious to see what you all thought. I would obviously get her a card and tell her how happy I am for her, I just think that if I give her a certain $$ amount, she might as well not cash the check and just give it back to me.

cindyandkevin Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:32 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I think it's OK to discuss the idea with her bc you're right, she's prob just going to turn around and give you the same amount. This would solve her feeling like she has to 'match' your gift.

I would still get them a card tho, that's a nice idea.

july06bride Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:32 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I was in the same situation. My best friend and MOH's (she was my MOH too) wedding was exactly one month before mine, we gave a gift...she gave the same gift back... I contemplated the 'no gift' thing too- but then I felt like I should... so I did... it worked out fine ...

Something else you could do if you wanted to, I thought about it too late... buy something for them while they are on their honeymoon- like an excursion, a spa treatment, a nice dinner...

laural2979 Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:39 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I have a friend getting married the month before me and we already talked about not giving each other gifts. It just seems silly to write her a check just for her to give it right back to me.

kellygirl Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:48 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

One of my girlfirends did this with one of her husband's friends. I think if you are close with this friend, it is absolutely okay to approach the situation. My friend is getting married 2 weeks before me and we have spoke about not giving each other a gift.

bostoninLI Posted: Feb 05, 2007 06:58 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

We're in each other's weddings, as bridesmaids, so we're pretty close. I think when it gets closer I'll mention it. She might be relieved actually, one less thing to spend cash on! Thanks for all your help!

hayleyandsteve Posted: Feb 05, 2007 07:00 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

Posted by bostoninLI

We're in each other's weddings, as bridesmaids, so we're pretty close. I think when it gets closer I'll mention it. She might be relieved actually, one less thing to spend cash on! Thanks for all your help!

it might be nice to get each other things off your registries!

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Feb 05, 2007 07:02 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

It is kind of funny - DH has 2 friends getting married... one before us in July and one after us in August... kind of funny to give cash gifts to eachother... didn't think of that before... I'm sure he'll do cash anyway.

mbg1007 Posted: Feb 05, 2007 08:57 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I have a friend getting married the day before me, I think I will def be bringing up this idea

drpepper318 Posted: Feb 05, 2007 10:05 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I think I'll just give my friend a gift that I normally would. It'll then be up to her how much she wants to give me as a gift. I know it might seem silly to give the $ only to get it back a few weeks later but for some reason I just feel like giving her a gift anyway. I guess in the end it doesn't matter but I think it's fine to bring it up.

korndoggie Posted: Feb 05, 2007 10:14 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

Posted by kellygirl

One of my girlfirends did this with one of her husband's friends. I think if you are close with this friend, it is absolutely okay to approach the situation. My friend is getting married 2 weeks before me and we have spoke about not giving each other a gift.

Kel, you beat me to it!

DanNette Posted: Feb 05, 2007 10:29 PM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

My bf is getting married 2 months before me, and I will still give her a gift even though my wedding is right after.

I think its fine you guys agree not to though, bc you'll just be giving the gift back to your friend, or she giving it to you.

Mooshyboo Posted: Feb 06, 2007 07:21 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

This is too funny this topic ~ my BF/MOH and I just discussed this topic ~ she is getting married 3 weeks after me! We were thinking of doing the same thing... since we were probably going to give each other the same gift anyhow.... if we decide to do this I will still definately give a card...

bostoninLI Posted: Feb 06, 2007 07:39 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I'm glad I'm not the only one is this boat and it definitely sounds like an OK thing to do. I'll bring it up and see what she says.

Shorty McBride Posted: Feb 06, 2007 08:50 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

I've already discussed this with a friend - her FH high-fived me when he heard that :lol :

I don't see anything wrong with it.

cherish83 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 08:53 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

A lot of us are actually doing that..

I have a friend getting married in April and one getting married in October and I'm in November. The three of us agreed to not get eachother anything for the wedding because its money just going back and forth, but as for shower gifts, we're still doing that..

FH's cousin is getting married in May and my cousin is getting married in July, but since they are family we're all still exchangin..

Forgot to mention all in 2008

MnM52607 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 09:07 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

Why don't you buy her something off her registry? This way she gets what she wants and then she can do the same for you.

MandG072909 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 09:33 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

Posted by MnM52607

Why don't you buy her something off her registry? This way she gets what she wants and then she can do the same for you.

I got married a month before one of my BMs...the idea of not getting her a gift never crossed my mind...IMO she is one of my best friends, she's getting married she gets a gift, end of story. That being said, she sent us a really nice gift off of our registry so we followed with the same...that way it's something she can keep that I know she really wanted and its not just like its $ going back and forth

cherish83 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 09:44 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

If she is one of your best friends and your are in eachothers weddings, like the above post said, i would get a gift, maybe not money. But in my case, its friends that i went to college with, not best friends, which is why i dont feel bad not giving something the day of.. But in the case of our family we are still giving a gift, (but again same would go for really close friends)

eelharas4700 Posted: Feb 06, 2007 10:34 AM

Re: If your friends wedding is right before/after yours...

my bf (one of my bms) is getting married 2 months after I am, although we never discussed this......it hasnt crossed my mind not to give her anything. it will probably be one of her larger items from the registry.