UGHHH... I absolutely can't stand my church. NO ONE understands why I am getting married here after all of the problems I have had with them. It's just that this was my childhood parish and is my town parish and I always envisioned myself getting married here.
SO... Along with having to pay an excessively large fee, having to endure six weeks of Pre-Cana for two hours each along with a mass, and countless problems with the pastor who is not a very holy man.... I get a letter in the mail today that I have to do some FOCCUS thing for TWO MORE WEEKS!!!!!! I am really starting to go crazy with this place!!! I was told that the FOCCUS would just be a dumb inventory. Now I get the letter that says I have to meet with these random people and talk about my personal life with them on two separate occasions for AT LEAST one hour each time!!! This is ridiculous.... It shouldn't take like 100 preparatory hours in order to get married.
How did everyone else do their FOCCUS? Did you guys have to do it this way as well? I am going crazyyyy
AdriandSteve
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
I believe our deacon told us that FH and i can do focus online and just send in proof of completion.
rocketsummer17
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
the foocus wasnt really that bad...we went in took a 126 question scantron test, then a few weeks later met with our leaders/whoever they are and we talked about the results and how they thought the test was pointless lol...
Toucan311
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Pre-Cana really isn't as bad as you expect. We made some really good friends at ours, and even DH didn't hate it like he thought he would.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
Posted by rocketsummer17
the foocus wasnt really that bad...we went in took a 126 question scantron test, then a few weeks later met with our leaders/whoever they are and we talked about the results and how they thought the test was pointless lol...
LoL! You're lucky! I hope we get that lucky, but I highly doubt it.
jcreilly
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
We where told just about precana which is a two day thing for 8 hrs each day my mother also could not believe how much they are charging us to get married I have been going there forever.
paprika023
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
we have to do FOCCUS too.. we're waiting til the beginning of next year to do everything.
RadiantBride
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
I didn't mind the time spent preparing for the wedding. To me the ceremony was the most important part so everything else was extra. I believe we had weekly 1 hr a week for like 3 months and then an evaluation.
Iluvpoodles
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My priest don't even return calls. He put us down for the date but we've been leaving messages and calling him for the past 2 weeks so we can meet with him.
Toucan311
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
Everyone who gets married in a Catholic church in this diocese has to go through Foccus, precana, etc. Don't look at it as a bad thing!
I can't speak for your priest; he may be a jerk. God knows I've encountered some priests that I didn't think were the holiest people, but don't let him put a damper on your wedding planning process. Believe it or not, the religious aspect of it, although it DOES seem daunting, doesn't have to be that way. You'd be surprised how insightful foccus and pre-cana can be. And I'm not talking about only finding out about each other, but seeing how other couples interact can make you thankful that you have eachother. Like I said in an earlier post, we were NOT thrilled to have to spend so much time in pre-cana, but after 2 weeks, we felt like we really knew the other ppl in our group, and it was more of a weekly hangout than a class... yeah, you talk about topics such as communication, family, etc, but its never a bad thing to rehash these topics... and going to mass, well, I don't see how that can be something to complain about. So, don't let a priests negative atttiude get to you - you will get something out of all of the hours that you spend preparing. You'd probably spend just as many hours looking for a bridal gown, so look at is as just another aspect of wedding planning.
kirstenjk
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
We didn't have to do FOCCUS but did have to do pre-cana. We opted for the one weekend version - we went for a few hours on Friday night and all day on Saturday. Personally, we didn't get anything out of it but I think that was more because of the poor facilitator we had - we did see the potential of the experience if it was presented differently.
Even if you got married at your RH by a minister, you'd have some kind of pre-wedding interviews and meetings. It's just a part of the process.
NYYankeeGirl72
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I think my church in addition to the several week Pre-Cana course, also has a one day course on a Saturday. They tell me it is really long but worth banging it out on one day and get it over with.
chicky724
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
What! That is crazy!
We didn't have to do a FOCCUS test - and our pre-cana was only for two hours on two days (four hours total.)
cateydee
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my church hasnt told us anything about focus. but we did precana one saturday from 9-5 and it was really nice
cateydee
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is this priest saying your mass too? maybe you could get another one?
stinenandy2010
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you can do the FOCCUS online, take the test online through the diocese website then you meet one weekend at a parish to go over the results. its a scranton test that you and your fh have to take...about 150 questions...same question just asked 150 different ways,
MarjorieFrank
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Posted by cateydee
is this priest saying your mass too? maybe you could get another one?
We are getting an outside priest to do it! Don't want any drama on my wedding day
MarjorieFrank
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Re: I.HATE.MY.CHURCH!!!!
Posted by stinenandy2010
you can do the FOCCUS online, take the test online through the diocese website then you meet one weekend at a parish to go over the results. its a scranton test that you and your fh have to take...about 150 questions...same question just asked 150 different ways,
OMG I want to take it online! LoL you are lucky!!
SummerBride10
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Wow thats insane. Our FOCCUS was two days...like an hour each day. How many questions can you really answer/talk about?
Lsorrent
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You should've went to Holy Name instead No FOCCUS and pre-cana is only 3 2-hour sessions. Our second session is tonight...next week is our last, then we're all done
