I'm a non-DIYer ... do I stink?

So, I always knew that brides did a lot of extras at their weddings - programs, menus, bathroom baskets, what have you. But I - nor FH - have never had the DESIRE to do these things. We are going to use the placecards and the menus our RH gives us. We are not doing programs because, well, our day will be self-explanatory: ceremony, then cocktails, then reception, all in the same place. I'm not doing bathroom baskets because I never use the stuff in them and always bring my own stuff if I feel I will need it.

Does this make me a cruddy bride? All of a sudden I am starting to feel like I'm lazy or uncaring or DEFECTIVE or something.

I $uck at DIY stuff. I don't want to shell out more money for someone else to do it. We plan to make our own table numbers - that's something, right?

I guess what I am asking is - do you think people will be unimpressed by my lack of going the extra mile? To me, I felt as if these things were extras that most guests might not even notice, or not realize that you did yourself. I guess it just never felt necessary to me, and I am starting to wonder if I should quick do some DIY things before the big day gets here.

Thoughts?

You do NOT stink!!! I'm a non-DIYer too. I sometimes feel like 'bad bride' because I am not doing the stuff a lot of other girls do. I always say my DIY project is paying for it myself!

Don't get down on yourself. Your weding will be beautiful!

I dont think every bride is a DIY-er and it doesnt make your wedding less impressive. From what I hear from past brides most guest wont even notice all the details. I can only speak for myself, but I DIY because it makes me happy, I enjoy all the details and I really dont care if anyone notices.

If your not into the DIY's dont force yourself to do them because others are doing it.

Do what makes you happy and what you care about. Its your wedding day.

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. Honestly, no one will notice a thing being amiss at your wedding. It will be a wonderful day, and your guests will have a blast!

The extras, honestly, I believe are for the brides. Some people feel very good doing 'extras' but it doesn't make you lazy or uninterested in your wedding for not doing them. Everyone has different tastes, opinions, and desires.

It's cool that you and FH feel similarly about any of these details -- sounds like you're perfect for each other. In my case, FH doesn't really understand why I want to do a few extra things (like the bow on the card box or ribbons on the bubbles, or why we're even bothering with programs -- which, for the record, i'm only doing because my MOH insisted I do them [i think she wants credit lol]). But FH supports me and encourages me by telling me he loves the details I'm working on, which makes me feel great.

Enjoy your wedding planning process! There's still tons of decisions for you to make without worrying what font the menu will be in. (We don't have menus either -- we're having a buffet!!)

Honestly, some DIYs are so nicely done, people just assume they were professionally done. So even if you did get any of those extras (menus, placecards, programs), professionally done- thats more than enough. They are nice touches, but completely unnessecary (sorry for the spelling!).

When I go to weddings, I don't look around for all the DIYs. (Although now that I'm engaged- I might!)

Thanks girls. I just started feeling defective for some reason - I am so involved in planning for the wedding and with all of the details - but these things just completely escape me. I feel better.

And, as an aside, I TOTALLY admire all of you who do these things! I am in awe of the projects you do! They are so impressive to me and I love to see all of the pictures. I think it's just not for me, for whatever reason.

Thanks again

Anyone who has never been a part of the LIW community, will never notice the 'lack of' extras at your wedding... My mom keeps saying to me 'I never heard of that... I never had that my wedding... etc etc' Its just us on here that care about all the extra stuff... And like I have said in the past, you feel pressure to keep up with what everyone else is doing... In the end, its not going to make one difference...

Sometimes it makes me wish how much $$ i would have saved if i didnt listen to what everyone else is doing... I wouldnt have placecard frames, bubbles, menus, an outfit for getting ready, etc etc ... I prob would be at least a few hundred dollars richer

ETA: I didnt even attempt a DIY... i actually bought all the materials to make ribbon wands... and then thought to myself... am i crazy? and returned everything a day later... The only DIY i may be doing is putting my wedding color ribbons on my bubbles... but even then, does it freakin make a diff? prob not...

There is definitely nothing wrong with you!!!

LIW is both a blessing and a curse sometimes. It gives you great ideas...but are they necessary? Absolutely not. And if I said there isn't a sense of friendly competition, it would be a bold faced lie. You see what one girl is doing, and you think OMG I MUST do that too...but better!

That being said...do what you feel is right for you, and don't care about anything else. I like to think I'm a healthy balance. I'm not doing bathroom baskets, slipper baskets, OOT baskets, cry packs....I think they're a waste. I'm more likely than not using my RH's placecards (I may end up getting some for free with a thank you card purchase from Tessa, but haven't actually ordered yet), and I HAVE to use my RH's menus My DIYs are things that I wanted for me, not what I was told to do...I wanted ribbon dancers, I wanted a signature drink menu, I want favor tags for my almonds, I want our baby pictures blown up to 8x10, etc. And I actually NEED programs, because my ceremony has many distinct parts, is an hour long, and there is NO speaking during it to explain anything.

Is my wedding going to be a little more Spartan than the typical LIW affair? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Because at the end of the day...it's what I want, and what I think is the best choice for me and FH.

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Posted by coldasice217


Is my wedding going to be a little more Spartan than the typical LIW affair? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Because at the end of the day...it's what I want, and what I think is the best choice for me and FH.

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Thanks Ali ... this is what I needed to hear!

I dont think so .. I have been to plenty of wedding where there was nothing DIY!!! I actually do alot of DIY because we had no money and I had big dreams But I also love to make things so I didnt mind doing them either.. I am even making my BMs day of jewlery.. but thats just me, I feel like it will be special for them because I made them... I like gifts from the heart. BUT i think there is nothing wrong with not doing these things.. your wedding will still be beautiful!!!!!!!!!