I'm a regular poster but need some help...

I am a very regular poster and a newlywed, but am incognito so that I can ask for some advice about some very personal issues. I fear that I have been depressed for many years, but have suppressed it for just as long. I have seen a psychologist for several of them, and have known I have not gotten any better under her care, and have told her what she wants to hear for fear of having to admit that I am a mess inside. I don’t know why I’m so self-destructive…why I care so little about myself that I can’t even admit that I’m depressed and need help?

I have major anxiety about everything and can’t seem to be happy about anything….even though I know this is supposed to be the greatest time in my life. I have the greatest DH in the world…he is truly amazing, but he just doesn’t understand how I feel inside because on the outside I have this perfect life. Granted, I hate my job and where we live currently, but those are things that I know I can change, and we are working on doing so. But other than that I am blessed with a beautiful family and friends, and everything I can possibly need. But the sadness still creeps in. I am sad all the time. For years I remember thinking “I’ll be happy when”….I graduate college, get a job, buy a car, get married, fill in the blank. And still, sadness. What is wrong with me?

I worry that I am very depressed and need medication to help me. But I am so terrified to admit that out loud, to face my issues, although I recently tried to tell DH and he was shocked. I know he will be supportive in whatever I need him to do, I just hate admitting that I’m not the person I’ve always pretended and tried to be. To him and to everyone. And I think sometimes it is hard for a person who is not depressed/dealt with someone who is depressed to truly understand how deep the pain is, and how hard it is for me to get up in the morning. How difficult even the littlest things are for me to handle.

I’m also scared to go on medication because I want to TTC in the short term and I don’t think (?) you can if you are on anti-depressants. But I know deep down that I need to care for myself, for the first time ever, and put off TTC until I feel better about myself.

Does anyone have any advice? I don’t know what moved me to write today and I don’t know what I expect you all to say…I guess I was just hoping someone else out there understands.

First, I want to offer you plenty of

You've made the first step by aknowledging that what you're feeling is something you don't like. Since you stated that you don't feel your current psychologist is a help. What if you confided in a new one, with your DH there helping to support you as well as learn everything you are feeling and holding back!! I know he loves you and would want to stay by your side through it all and help you get better, help you become happier, and be part of that happiness!

I don't know of any other advice to offer, but lots of and if you ever want to talk, just FM me! I'm hear to listen and help in any way I can!

First off, I am sorry you are going through this

In order to get better in anyway possible, you need to find someone that will help you better. It is ok to have a problem in which you need help with. You said you wanted to TTC short term but if you are depressed, I highly suggest that you take care of this before TTC. A baby is not going to make you less depressed especially if this is a depression that needs to be controlled by medication.

Your DH will support you & I am sure that you don't need to be afraid! I hope you get through this shorty

first

secondly, you need to take care of yourself before you start TTC. talk to someone about what you are experencing and let them tell you what, if any, meds you need. you may not need them, so don't project to that.

hope things are better for you soon

Wow, sorry you have all these sad feelings.
First, maybe it is time you switch doctors. Get one that you can speak the truth too, and not just say what you think they want to hear. Who cares what they think, it is their job.
Secondly, step back and re-read your post. You have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many things to be happy about. Try to focus on all the good around you.
You know us LIW girls are always here for you. FM me if you want to talk.

First, here's a hug

Next, I think we've all had our moments, our bouts with depression, some have last a month, others for years. There should be no embarassment for how you are feeling nor the medication you may need to help. Yes, this is a happy time in your life but it is also one of enormous change. And I can tell you from experience, having a job you hate doesn't help either. Perhaps you should seek a new therapist, someone who won't be as easily fooled by you telling them what they want to hear. In writing what you did today you are also acknowledging that there is an issue at hand, something you want to fix and change. That is a big and wonderful step. You also acknowledged all the wonderful things in your life, which shows you indeed have hope and faith in the future that lies ahead.
I know many people that have gone on medications to overcome depression, some only needing it for a short amount of time. Just to get over the hump and then deal with the real issues at hand. There' s not a thing wrong with this. In fact, some friends often said they wished they had done it sooner so they could've spent less time in tears. As for not wanting to admit it, it's no one's business but your own. You don't need to let others know if you are on meds if you are not comfortable doing so, no more than you would tell them what you discussed in your last session.
Sorry to ramble here, just want to let you know there are a lot of young women at this stage in their lives experiencing the same things. You are not alone. Hope this helped!

I think you need to talk to somebody immediately and get to work on yourself...really. I think you have made the first step in acknowledging that you have a problem and that you're unhappy. The second step is talk to somebody and find out the root of this unhappiness and possibly resolve your issues. I dont think its a good idea to even try to think about TTC right now. I think your #1 priority should be you...try to find yourself.

I'm sorry that you have such sadness in your right now I have had to deal with a very close family member who has also had a great deal of sadness and has sought the help of many professionals over the years. It's not an easy task to admit that you need help, med's, ect. You're on the right path and with your DH by your side you have a chance to get well. My suggestion is to see your regular Dr. and have him/her perform an evaluation. Maybe they can recommend a different therapist. I hope things get better soon!

You need to be honest with yourself in order to make progress. I started seeing a psychologist about 4 months ago and I was having a tough time actually telling her everything, even though I knew I should. (I started going there because I was having a tough time with an aspect of my life. But once I started talking, I realized that really wasn't my problem.)

One day I let it all out and I felt ashamed that I did, but it helped so much!!!! I realized that I could help myself by being honest with those around me. I did discuss with her about TTC and medication. SHe told me what is considered safe druing TTC. Fortunately for me, once I let it all out, I felt so much better and didn't need medicine!!!

If you'd like to talk, please feel free to FM me. You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!

First I am sorry you are feeling blue
Second some cases (not all) of depression can be helped without meds. Proper diet and exersise can really help. I know that yoga and meditation has been known to do wonders. Also increasing your omega 3 is supposed to help fight depression. Finally make sure you are sleeping properly. Too little as well as too much sleep can contribute to depresson. I wish you luck on your battle and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Some people just need a little boost and if it alternative meds don't work then consult a docor about meds. There has to be a prenatal safe drug out there. Don't be afraid to admit to yourself and others you need help.

this is a great first step for you and you should be proud of yourself. i think the ladies have given great advice so far.

since you asked--anti-depressants have to be out of your system for several months before doctors will allow you to TTC. and they also require you to be on them for at least 6 months in order for them to work properly. so in order to TTC, it would have to be at least a year away for you. i have someone very close to me who had that same problem, and that is what she has to do.

good luck to you.

i too delt with depression and anxiety. and i know what its like to have everything and still be so sad inside, to the point were it physically hurts. and you can pinpoint why you are sad. its because you are not sad like most people that are sad, you have a chemical imbalance. which i know sounds awful! (i delt with that too). but i assure you it is more common then you think.

i finally realized i needed help. i told my parents and they were so supportive. i thought everyone would think i was weird but they didnt.

i have been HAPPY and anxiety free for 3 years now. i started off talking to somebody and taking zoloft. the zoloft helped!! and it doesnt make you feel drugged. it is a beta blocker not an upper. all it does in control the serotonin levels in the brain. i encourage you to go on there website and check it out. also go to your family doctor and talk to them about it. they can help you. even if you dont want to tell you DH or your family.

i can honestly say that zoloft changed my life. and you can take it while pregnant. its harmless. it was such a simple thing and i regret not taking that step sooner.

feel free to FM me if you have any questions.

first- many hugs to you....depression is a horrible thing for someone to deal with and also an issue that many do not understand unless you have battled it yourself.......however the good news is that it can be controlled- its not you - its a chemical issue and it can be pretty easily rectified.

second- please see a new psychologist, and one that you trust - and open up to them...start fresh with a new one - it will help alot

third- please take care of this now before ttc...as other have stated, milestone wil not change your depression and you need to do something about it.




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please don't beat yourself up about this.

please do not try to conceive until you have helped yourself and taken care of YOU.

please find a therapist you can trust, but also trust YOURSELF enough to know that once you get it all out, you WILL be able to get better.

please read again what you wrote, and know that you DID and HAVE the strength to say this out loud. even if you bring a print out of THIS post to the therapist...you've already shown you have the courage to put yourself out there....

please KNOW that you have our unending support...I have been there...I know people who have. fm me anytime...

You aren't going to get anything out of a therapist if you don't open yourself up to her.
Give it a try.

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Posted by SummerBride06



this is a great first step for you and you should be proud of yourself. i think the ladies have given great advice so far.

since you asked--anti-depressants have to be out of your system for several months before doctors will allow you to TTC. and they also require you to be on them for at least 6 months in order for them to work properly. so in order to TTC, it would have to be at least a year away for you. i have someone very close to me who had that same problem, and that is what she has to do.

good luck to you.

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I know someone who had to deal with the same situation as well and from my knowledge you can TTC while on antidepressants. You cannot TTC if you are on a conrolled substance (eg: Xanax, etc..). They are entirely different!

I agree with the posters, you have to be honest with yourself. Talk to your therapist. Be honest with them, and trust that they can help you.

You will get better!!!!!!!!

Some hugs for you. Stay strong and speak to someone you can trust. Be open and hoenst. I will feel like a 1,000 pounds off your shoulders

First off

I've been there and have done that. It's always an ongoing situation for me. I finally had enough and wanted to get my life back. I broke down and told my mom and went to the doctor. I was prescribed something and was totally freaked out about taking soemthing. It turns out to be the best thing I could've done. I wouldn't have met my fiance if I hadn't taken that step.

It's been a long road with some bumps, but that's life, right?!

Things will get better and there are things to help (and if you ever need it I'm here!)

I hope you feel better and feel free to FM if you ever want to chat or have questions -- I'd be happy to help out anyway I can.

I'm soooo sorry you are going through this, but you've taken such a giant step by admitting there is a problem and sharing with us. We all go through difficult times and you must feel so alone and closed off to everyone and I'm sorry.

You've received wonderful advice from the other girls and like they've said, you definitely should look for another therapist and start fresh....the therapist is there to help you and to listen, NOT to judge you. She/he is there to help you and get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do and take steps to turn you in the right direction.

Taking medicine to better yourself is nothing to be ashamed of and I think at one time or another many of us may have gone this route.

Like others have said b4 you consider TTC, you need to take care of you and get yourself together and feel like you again.

We're all here if you need to talk......fm me at anytime.