I have aclose guy friend, he was one of my first friends when I moved to New Jeresey..iw as ina beach house with him and his friends every summer for a few years...then I met my fiance and he met his fiance and we keep in touch but not TOO much..I mean we dont hang out like we used to. I havent seen him in probably over a year, we speak, mostly through email. Anyhow..so i got engaged and set teh date for January..a few months ago, he got engaged and set the date for October, In California. I woudl have loved to ahve gone to his wedding, but to eb honest, we just cant afford to fly to Cali a few months before our wedding..we are kind of broke these days. He understands this and is fine with it. Anyhow..so they will most likely come to my wedding, since its somewhat local ( wedding is in Roslyn, we live in Jersey). My questions is..what is teh right thing to do as far as gift goes...I know that he will give us cash, he will cover his place settings,etc. Even though Im not attending his wedding..would I give him a few hundred since I know thats what hes going to give us? I am so lost on this..I dont want him to feel ripped off.I dont know what to do.
VickiC
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
You can send a check if you like since you know he will do the same for you. You can also buy a nice gift from their registry and have it shipped to them.
franksbride
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I think I would give him what I think he would give me...does that make any sense?
Jess2
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
You can probably do either, I know that in the past I've sent actual gifts rather than a check. I would find out where they are registered.
rasckulsbride
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I agree with Vicky. You should still send him a gift (it dosen't have to be expensive) to ackowledge his wedding even though you will be unable to attend. At the very least send a card. Just MHO.
HearzBellz
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I think I agree with franksbride.....and you can always send a great 1st anniv present if you feel it wasn't quite enough.
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
Of course I plan on seindg him something>>I was just wondering how much I woudl spend..whatever he is spending on me, even though Im not going to his wedding? I was told No because he isnt paying for me to be at his wedding, but i would be paying for him to be at mine. Does that make sense?
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I would definatekly send him something, price is what Im wondering about. i grew up in Oklahoma..where we give gifts, not so much money..this is all new to me!
Jordan
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I think you just have to look at it differently. You give gifts b/c of how you feel about the person - not b/c of what you assume they'll be spending on you. A wedding should be no different, IMO. If you consider him a friend and are happy for him, give him a gift that will reflect that.
HearzBellz
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I gotcha..... I definately knew that you were going to send something, I just misunderstood a bit....
I cannot tell you an exact amount, but maybe if you tell us where in Cali he is getting married???
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
Cp2039..Im looking at it more that I dont want him to feel ripped off coming to my wedding..I dont knwo whats appropriate to send to him.Its not a competition..I just dont want to send him less.
Jordan
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
Give him whatever you'd give a friend - whether you were attending their wedding or not. You're invited to celebrate - not to pay for your plate, IMO.
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I was told taht out here people usually give cash and it usually covers teh place setting etc. Am I worng?
Jordan
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
It's really hard to give you an amount. What do you usually give for friends? Everyone's different in their thinking.
Jordan
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
It's DEF nice when someone covers the plate, no? I mean, you're a bride planning a wedding - you know how it is, right? Since you have no idea what the plate is though, you should base it on what you'd give a friend (someone on the same level as this friend that you're talking about).
Some people start at $200 and then depending on how close you are or if you're family, the gift goes up.
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
We always gave something off of the registry .but tehn when I moved here I was told to cover the place seeting plus extra. tahst why Im confused..if he wasnt coming to my wedding..and I wasnt going to his..I would buy them something nice from their registry or send thema check..but it wouldnt be 300 dollars worth..thats where I get lost.
aliciahelene
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
But Im not attending his wedding, so why would I cover his place setting. This si where Im lost, completely confused!
HearzBellz
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
It's just a guide, that place setting thing..... honestly you need to give him what you feel comfortable with. If $200 is ok, then do that, if $500 is OK, then you are invited to my wedding (j/k)
The average price I have sent to a wedding I could not attend is $250, but the least was $100 (I was single at the time.)
Maybe you can ask on the newlyweds board & see what the recently wedded think? they may be better equipped to give you a solid answer.
goldilocks
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I would send whatever I expect to get from him. Notonly is he going to give you a cash gift (or so you expect) but he's also spending the $$ to fly out and I assume a hotel. I would give more than a blender, ya know what I mean? But don't disregard your budget. Everything's relative. Did I confuse you?!
Jordan
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Re: Im confused..can anyone give me advice? PLEASE!
I think you're confusing yourself!
Forget about the place setting - just give a gift based on how you feel about him. I'm sure whatever you give will be MOST appreciated.
