I'm freaked out. What do you think? (long)

Ok, a little background - I have an ex. A crazy ex. Emotionally abusive and borderline physically abusive, and that's why we broke up about 3 years ago. 5 months later I met the most wonderful man in the world, and just married him.

So, back to the ex. He really is crazy. When we broke up, he would call incessantly, at all hours of the night. I had to change my numbers, and eventually changed my cell phone to a private unlisted number under my DH's name. The ex would also hunt down where I would park my car in the city (I live in Philadelphia), and leave little things on the car, just to show me he was watching me. Mind you, this continued for upwards of 2 years after our break up. I reached my breaking point when, 2 years after we broke up, I was walking to school, when I received a message on my PRIVATE, UNLISTED number, from him, describing exactly what I was wearing. I had an attorney send him a letter threatening civil and criminal action if he ever contacted me again. I haven't really heard from him since, other than a few random emails telling me the only reason why I was marrying Dh was because I still wasn't over him, and a few emails from his friends, presumably trying to get in touch with me through him.

Ok, so fast forward to this week. I've been having awful nightmares about the ex and have been having this really uneasy feeling about him, probably because I haven't heard from him in about 4 months, and this is usually around the time he strikes again. DH and I went to dinner and a movie Saturday night, and we left our back door open like we usually do. We come back, and I go upstairs to get ready for bed, and as I'm walking upstairs I hear this really loud noise. I walk into the bedroom, and the ceiling fan is on, the highest setting. I know it wasn't on when we left because DH and I got ready in the bedroom just before we headed out. DH thinks it may have been the cat or dog, but both are tiny and could never reach the ceiling in a million years, and even if it was an accident, how do you explain that it was on the highest setting, which requires pulling on the little string like 5 times? Nothing else was touched or moved.

Maybe I'm overreacting and being paranoid thinking it was the ex. But, this is exactly the kind of thing he would do, to let me know that he was still watching me, and to freak me out. Am I being totally paranoid here, or what? How could it turn on by itself?? We haven't used the fan since August!

honestly, i would feel how you do. i guess the first thing is do NOT leave your door open anymore for any reason. does your DH know about all of this?

i would be cautious about this situation just to be on the safe side. and never ignore your instinct...it is a naturally occuring thing to keep us away from danger.

best of luck with this.

DH knows the whole story - probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do was to tell him everything. He is hesitant to believe that this guy could be SO crazy to trespass into our home, but DH doesn't know this guy like I do. He really is THAT crazy and unstable.

I told DH that we're locking the doors from now on, and getting an alarm system. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm not taking any chances.

I would call the police to make some sort of a report...just to have it on file in case anything happens in the furture.
you have no proof that it was him, but in my mind, it was.
be careful, don't leave the door unlocked - even if you're home alone......this guy sounds freaky.
i don't know what other advice i can give you....do you have an alarm on your house - migh tbe a good idea....and maybe a big dog....

I agree with everyone else--change your locks, get a security system (or a nice big Rottweiler--my half rottie is SUCH a mushball with us but would protect us if he had to)

ALWAYS keep your doors locked and keep a lot of every time there is an incident.

I would tell the police about the fan thing too--there is no proof but it is just another item to list for them if (God forbid) they ever need it.

I'm sorry you are going through this!

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Posted by swags1016

Curious? Do you have extra keys lying around your house anywhere? If you do, I am sad to say I would change all the locks.

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Thankfully, no, we don't. We just moved into this house over the summer, and the only keys are the ones I and DH have on our keychains, and one that's with my brother, and with my friend, both I can trust.

If you thought there was some crazy ex out there somewhere..WHY would you be keeping the door unlocked?
THAT is kinda crazy imo.

LOCK your doors and windows!!
I agree with palebride...although they will look at you like you are a nut...call the police and make a report! Just in case other wierd things happen.

I would be freaked out too- and probably a little scared.

You are pregnant! Don't take any chances hun!

Is there any way you could get that back door fingerprinted? I know it sounds a little weird, and I live in a Law&Order fantasy world sometimes, but it would confirm some things for you.

PLEASE lock your doors, and be VERY careful with your car. I'm sure a lunatic like that would have no problem being one of those crazies who lay down in your backseat and freak you out when you're driving.

I hope your DH is very careful too! Your crazy ex is probably incredibly jealous.

Was your doggie OK? Anything weird?

I know, I know, we SHOULD leave the door closed, especially because of the crazy ex, but he disappears for like 3-4 months and I get this false sense of security.

Our doggy was totally normal, but the cat was acting REALLY weird. When we came home, I was so freaked that I sat downstairs in the living room and waited for DH to come back from walking the dog. Though she usually stays to herself, she starting pacing all around the living room, meowing a storm.

So, verdict is, I'm locking all the doors, and I'll call the police and have them write up a report, just so it's on file. I may be overreacting, but in case I'm not, I'll cover all my bases.

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Posted by bxgell2

So, verdict is, I'm locking all the doors, and I'll call the police and have them write up a report, just so it's on file. I may be overreacting, but in case I'm not, I'll cover all my bases.

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good plan!!!

Actually, having been in a disturbingly similar situation myself, I would be JUST as freaked out as you are.

We recently moved away, and we're pretty much not giving anyone our phone numbers or address, esp. since one of my BRIDESMAIDS sold us out to the jerk off and now he reads my blog.

to you. I would be just as paranoid as you are.

OMG!!! I would always have the doors locked!!! Definately get a security system too. When you walk to your car, always walk around it to check the perimeter before you get into it...especially if it's dark out. I usually walk with my keys between my fingers...just incase...

So sorry you are going through this

Everyone gave great advice, I hope you follow it!

You are not being paranoid!!! Definitely contact the police - if they will not fingerprint/investigate... contact a PI and have them do it!!

You do not know what he did, while he was in there... and obviously someONE was in there. What if he planted a listening device???

By ignoring this, you are only putting yourself in more danger.

Get nanny cams and put them thru-out your house - get a motion sensor light with a camera in it and put it outside your back door.

You have to be careful and protect yourself!!!!

My DH, God love him, he can be a bit deranged himself, says that you should follow the ex home and break in and rearrange his furniture while he was out and give him a taste of his own medicine.