I'm having 'the talk' with a BM
Some of you might remember, I posted a poll about bridal party regrets a few weeks ago.
I only feel stronger about someone not being in my BP. While I don't have the courage to tell them exactly that, I'm going to offer her an out. I don't even think she wants to be in it at this point. I might actually be doing her a favor.
I'm just going to tell her that I've seen her 2x since I got engaged in May. She asked me last Friday on my FB wall if I needed any help w wedding stuff but everything is done. She knows nothing about me, my life or FH. Our friendship has just had a really bad turn. I always try inviting her out, but she'll respond with short answers just saying no. (Not even an excuse why she can't make it). I've really tried my best to be a friend and she just hasn't done that. I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she said she wanted to see the girls on Friday and made plans. Come Friday, she backed out of her own plans b/c it was 'too cold'.
She just shows no effort and I'm going to be honest w her about how I feel, ask her if she thinks she's been a good friend. She always makes it seem like she's so busy that she can't meet up with me (I've asked like 15 times and been denied). I can imagine this wedding is an inconvenience for her. I really just feel like we're acquaintances at this point.
This is not going to be easy for me and I don't know if the convo will go well.![]()
I just don't see the point of having someone who really doesn't care just show up in a BM dress.
Wish me luck. My theory: In order to have a friend, you have to be a friend..and that, she isn't.
update:
I spoke to her and basically she's had stuff going on at home. It sounds like someone has been ill and she's been taking care of them. She didn't want to get into it b/c it's too difficult to talk about. She cried ALOT when talking about it.
I told her that it looked and felt like she didn't give a crap and that since she's such a guarded person, it creates distance between herself and ppl. She doesn't like to open up, so I told her that's what friends are for, etc. I left it up to her whether she wants to be in the BP or not although I she expected to get the boot (she said that). Since she has so much going on, I told her it's up to her whether being in a BP is too much. I understand where she's coming from but I can't believe that someone in my BP wouldn't tell me something is wrong. I asked her in October if something was wrong since she was so distant. I gave her the opportunity to tell me something was up, but she didn't.
So..I didn't feel right telling her not to be in it, if she's going through something. It's been going on for a while now that she's been distant and while I know her behavior has been that way before she's been going through this, I didn't feel right making her bow out. I just tried to explain to her how she comes off to me and everyone else. Distant. Her view of friendships is so wrong.
Sorry for the vent.
I only feel stronger about someone not being in my BP. While I don't have the courage to tell them exactly that, I'm going to offer her an out. I don't even think she wants to be in it at this point. I might actually be doing her a favor.
I'm just going to tell her that I've seen her 2x since I got engaged in May. She asked me last Friday on my FB wall if I needed any help w wedding stuff but everything is done. She knows nothing about me, my life or FH. Our friendship has just had a really bad turn. I always try inviting her out, but she'll respond with short answers just saying no. (Not even an excuse why she can't make it). I've really tried my best to be a friend and she just hasn't done that. I gave her the benefit of the doubt when she said she wanted to see the girls on Friday and made plans. Come Friday, she backed out of her own plans b/c it was 'too cold'.
She just shows no effort and I'm going to be honest w her about how I feel, ask her if she thinks she's been a good friend. She always makes it seem like she's so busy that she can't meet up with me (I've asked like 15 times and been denied). I can imagine this wedding is an inconvenience for her. I really just feel like we're acquaintances at this point.
This is not going to be easy for me and I don't know if the convo will go well.
Wish me luck. My theory: In order to have a friend, you have to be a friend..and that, she isn't.
update:
I spoke to her and basically she's had stuff going on at home. It sounds like someone has been ill and she's been taking care of them. She didn't want to get into it b/c it's too difficult to talk about. She cried ALOT when talking about it.
I told her that it looked and felt like she didn't give a crap and that since she's such a guarded person, it creates distance between herself and ppl. She doesn't like to open up, so I told her that's what friends are for, etc. I left it up to her whether she wants to be in the BP or not although I she expected to get the boot (she said that). Since she has so much going on, I told her it's up to her whether being in a BP is too much. I understand where she's coming from but I can't believe that someone in my BP wouldn't tell me something is wrong. I asked her in October if something was wrong since she was so distant. I gave her the opportunity to tell me something was up, but she didn't.
So..I didn't feel right telling her not to be in it, if she's going through something. It's been going on for a while now that she's been distant and while I know her behavior has been that way before she's been going through this, I didn't feel right making her bow out. I just tried to explain to her how she comes off to me and everyone else. Distant. Her view of friendships is so wrong.
Sorry for the vent.
