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Well girls things have been crazy!!!! Actually crazy doesn't even begin to describe it..

So the last I was REALLY on here was when I couldn't get in touch with FH all nite...and that NEVER happens..and we NEVER EVER fight, and the night before we had an argument, over what else..but MONEY! I was so frustrated that I was really putting him down, even though I didn't mean to be. It's just that FH has about 0 ambition or drive..he's been looking for a new job for about 3yrs...

So I'm going to try to make this as short as possible..

I find out a few hours later, that FH shut off his phone because he felt like a total failure, that he's been so down on himself already and once I said all that stuff to him he really felt like he let me down big time...to make matters like 100x worse..they have been on his back at his job..and he might not have it much longer...

He's suppose to have a gun permit at his job, only prob is that it costs about $1000 and it takes about a year to obtain. FH is on the list for Court Officer and *fingers crossed* they should be calling him sometime in the future. So he hasn't wanted to pay that money for the license for basically nothing, because by the time he gets the license, the Court Officer position may open. However, its been about a year now since he's heard from the Court Officer job, and they still haven't called him! And now his job is letting people go left and right. They wrote FH up the other day over something RIDICULOUS..and now they keep bringing up the fact that he doesn't have his license...so this doesn't look good...

He would just try to find another job in the meantime while waiting for Court Officer, but he can't seem to find a job with the starting pay the same as he is making now, and we honestly need every cent..so he can't take a pay cut. Plus FH makes his money from OT, and most other jobs won't offer that..

To add some icing to the cake...FFIL became a victim of identity theft...they stole his info..he had to put holds on everything...long story short..they couldn't make their rent or utility payments last month..and guess who had to pay? US!!! THey are suppose to be paying us back..but that's not likely...so there goes a big chunk of our wedding savings...

Then I got really sick..I had an awful flu for a few days..

And now since I'm scared of FH losing his job, I asked for some OT at my job and thankfully I have an AMAZING boss and she gave me stuff to do at home!! I am really greatful for it..but it's still not much extra money at all...however its TOTALLY taking up so much of my free time..

With all this going on FH and I have been thinking about delaying the wedding...

He brought it up and although I know he is right..I got so upset that I told him I didn't even want to marry him anymore because he'll never be able to support me (wrong thing to say, I know, but I was frustrated) So ... we've been having MAJOR talks and things seem to be on the right path now..but still..there's no where to find the money.. his job isn't secure..and everything is just so 'iffy' right now...I couldn't even bring myself to come on the boards because I have been so depressed about it..

I don't even know what to do..

I don't want to delay it another whole year..and I'm not sure if a few months will make a difference..

On top of all this..I have no church and no dress..the wedding is in 9months if we keep the date..can I even get a dress and church in that amount of time?!?!??!

Oh yea..and we don't just have to pay for a wedding..we also have to pay for renovations on the basement and the apt if we want a place to live..FH is going to call contractors this week..but I have no idea how much this is going to cost ..and regardless..we need financing and with the economy who knows if we'll get someone of offer us financing now...if anyone has any info on this or knows someone good..please let me know!!!

OoOo and another thing..I am planning my best friends baby shower...shes due Dec 23rd....more $$$$$$$$$$$ there

And for some Happy News...another one of my BMs is PREGNANT!!!!! She's due about a month before the wedding..I am so happy for her!!!

There's prob. more going on but you girls get the idea ...

I really miss you girls!!!! I am so sorry I haven't been around but I promise to try harder to get on more!!!

so sorry to hear you're going through tough times with FH. I think you would be making a really smart choice by postponing the wedding until you both have more money and FH has a stable job. Don't go into debt for the wedding, the important thing is that you love each other and do what's best for both of you. I'll keep you in my prayers, hopefully everything works out for the best.

Good Luck

Aww I'm so sorry to hear about all of those things happening all at once! When it rains, it pours!!!!

Just remember, as cliche as it sounds, all you need is love. So what if you have to postpone the wedding - you have each other and when the time and financial situation is right, you'll be married.

I just want to jump through the screen and give you a big hug!

I'm so sorry to hear all of that. You and FH will be able to figure things out. I have people telling me its not about the day but about the life you share and you really want that to get in order. GL to your FH with the job I'll keep my fingers crossed for the Court Officer job to come through.

Everything will work out for you two, you have to do whats best for you even though you may not want to do it. Glad to see your feeling better and I hope things get cleared up with your FFIL's identity. I cant beleive all that happened...I'm sorry

Awww as much as everything s*cks I'm so happy you're alive! I was getting worried!

Lots of for you and FH... you guys seem like the cutest couple ever and I know you can make it work. Fingers crossed for the court officer job too!

WOW! That is a lot going on right now! I am praying for you and hoping that all works out! The most important thing is the love you and your FH share. It's ok to postpone the wedding if you have to! Things are crazy financially these days and everyone would completely understand! We are all here for you and are glad you are back!!

Hey you! I am happy to hear from you... I was really nervous for you that night you couldnt find FH

I understand everything that you said and explained and I think that you are a very strong person to be handling this all with so much grace and maturity. I knwo that I do not know you, but I am proud of you for this! Although times are tough and very trying to your life plan right now...I fully believe that we are not given more than we can handle. The big guy wouldnt give you more than he thinks that you can handle successfully. I trust that you will do what is best for you and FH...I am just happy to hear from you!

Please know that whatever you decide, we all back you! We are here girlie!

hi girly! omg..soo much stuff happened...i understand what you are going through.believe me! isnt it crazy how life sometimes is..one day everything is going good and the next thing you know..its all up in the air..floating there..and u dont know what to do...!!! but hang in ther girl...we are here for emotional support for you ok!!!.
you know life is like a zebra...the white stripe will deff..come now...in ur life..and everything will get better believe me!!! the most important thing is to stay POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!
and if you want to put ur wedding for another year..do it..its worht it!!!!! thats what i did...right now i dont even know if im having a wedding...yet..!!! lol!!! fm me if you wana talk!!!

Im so sorry about all of this! It seems as if you are all overthe place with your thoughts & its very easy to get frustrated & upset. Im glad you guys are working things out & trying hard to figure out what needs to be done.

I do think you need to postpone the wedding until next year. It will help you guys so much more financially & mentally. It will help things get into perspective & give you more ime to save. You know you love each other so what is teh rush? Another year wont hurt. It will help & it will take pressure off you & fh. I think you should really think baout making it a 2010 wedding.

Good Luck I hope it all work out!

Planning a wedding is stress enough. I know my head is spinning lately. I want to have fun with it but it's hard. Having all of those issues on top of planning has got to be intense. Try to find a way to clear your mind and look at things objectively. Can you pay for the wedding if you keep it the same date? How much money will you lose if you postpone your wedding? I'm not sure how far into it you are but the deposits you've put down on vendors may be reason enough to keep the same date. As for your dress. I wouldn't stress over it. I did and it's not worth it. I put money down on a dress last weekend and I'm getting married in April. My dress is scheduled to come in February. As for the church, I'm getting married at the RH so I'm not sure about scheduling a church. We still have to find an officiant.



Not sure if that helps at all.

I'm so sorry to hear all of this is happening to you! I'm glad you came on to updte us b/c we were worried!
Even though its been tough you sound like you are very strong!
I hope things turn around your way soon!

You girls are amazing!! Thank you so much! Honestly, I can't find the words to say how much all your kind words mean to me. The support here is so great!!!!!

We're still really debating what we should do. It goes back and forth like crazy!! Right now my countdown says 273 days ..that number should be making me happy right now!! Its about 9 months away..so postponing it a year will make it 21 months away...honestly..I'm not sure i can plan for that much longer!!! I was originally suppose to get married in 08..i've been engaged since 06!!!! I didn't seriously start planning til late though..but when we did start seriously planning we figured out a budget to work for summer of 09..but now it just doesn't seem to be coming together as smoothly as we wanted.

Basically my paycheck alone can pay for the entire wedding if we saved all of it from now until July..which is fine. If we were just paying for the wedding things would be peachy. But we need to renovate the two apts..and we have no idea where we are finding the money for that. FH's pay is paying off our debt (we want to be OUT of debt by the wedding), rent, food, and other bills..at the end of the month we hardly have anything to put into savings and thats SCARY!!

Honestly though, right now my biggest concern is FH. He's feeling like all of this is his fault because of his lack of ambition. He feels he should be better off in life right now. The thing is..FH is honestly one of the smartest people I know..actually he went for special testing in school because he was way above average..but he has NO ambition..and I know its hard to build and it takes time..and he feels like he has to find it somewhere and he feels like he has a time frame now and I know thats a ton of pressure. I'm trying so hard to be supportive but since I am so weak right now I'm finding it hard. Everything is just taking its toll right now. I know we'll find a way..it's just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now...

THanks so much for listening girls!!! If I could jump through the screen right now and hug you all i would!!!!

Oh my goodness Oh my goodness oh my goodness.... I cant believe that! ... they say when it rains it pours!! .... I really hope things work out! I remember the last time you were on and one of the girls did mention you like last week to see if anyone heard from you ... I am glad you came on to give us an update!... i know its easier said than done but just try and take one thing at a time, I know how hard it is trying to pay bills on top of paying for a wedding and we're renovating the house too!!! I think thats why i have such bad stomach problems because i stress too much and dont let that happen to you. Maybe you can try and cut corners here and there ... It is definitely possible to get a dress and a church in 9 months ,.. my best friend got married in April and planned her whole wedding in 8 months! Its totally do-able and if you need help with specifics let me know!

If i was in your position i would be postponing the wedding. I mean what really more important? I dont think a wedding should trump the security of your home etc. By the way telling him every time your in an arguement that he cant support you and putting him down, sweety he will leave you or see someone else, no man likes to hear that over and over. He feels like a failure, work is going all wrong, then he comes home to you telling him that, not good! Dont mean to be blunt but its the truth. Its just time to prioritize postpone the wedding then. And cant you explain to your friend your not in a financial position to plan her shower? Man the whole situation ***** you just need to prioritze. Good luck with everything

wow, just wow that's a lot of stuff to deal with at once. i hope things start to go better for your guys