I'm just now convinced everyone lies (another church vent)

I've had a LITANY of problems with our church throughout the entire planning process... but I won't go through it all.

Now, ONCE I switched cell phones and missed one message. I explained this when I finally spoke to the church secretary (I missed the priest's call apparently). This was months ago.

Now, they have been late, late, LATE on EVERYTHING and horrendous about returning my calls. (Example - I just arranged our ceremony music over the phone with the organist two nights ago - and I had to call him at home!)

Now every time the secretary calls, (EVERY SINGLE TIME and every time she is notoriously late), she tells me that she's been leaving messages on my cell phone for a week. It's always a week and always my cell phone.

I keep my phone on 24/7, so even if I don't answer, as long as I have a signal, I know who called. I also check my messages. I am dealing with attorneys, realtors, mortgage brokers, and countless wedding vendors, all of whom use that number. I haven't missed one call. There's no way she's leaving messages.

But I guess she's (1) trying to cover her tracks to make it look like it's my fault, and (2) probably tellng this to the priest who knows we're annoyed by how we've been treated. So now we look like the bad guys.

I've had it. She then proceeded to lecture me about being on time b/c the priest has to be somewhere after our wedding. I will be on time - I've said it a million times. She just keeps lecturing. I wanted to shout, 'LOOK - we wouldn't be in this situation with the priest if you hadn't screwed me over in the beginning by not properly recording our wedding date!' (Long story in older posts by me)

So everyone lies - especially churches. I'm convinced now.

Nothing I can do about it, but I made it very clear to her that my cell phone is always on and not only have I never missed a message, I've never even received a call from them.

The first time I of course gave her the benefit of the doubt and checked my cell phone, home phone, work phone - no call, no messages. By the 3rd time she did it, I figured she just thinks I'm stupid.

I know it's not worth getting upset over - at this point, I give up. I just am not going to be thrilled to hand over $550 for the pleasure of them being completely incompetent regarding my wedding and for treating me like poop.

Oh well, I know the ceremony will be BEAUTIFUL.

I just wish she hadn't lectured me about what to bring. She didn't just remind us - she explained ad naseum why we need each thing, with the implication that I wasn't responsible enough to remember any of this.

Don't let her get to you, Kara, just nod and yes her to death because she isn't worth getting upset over!! Like you said, you're going to have a beautiful ceremony and this will just make it that much more worth it!!!

I'm so sorry you're stuck dealing with this PITA when you've got so much else going on right now. It's inexcusable for a representative of a church to behave that way! But don't let it get to you. There is one foolproof way to clear the air though - have your cell phone company get you a list of all incoming calls to your number for a specific period of time. Then ask the secretary to give you the specific dates and times she supposedly called. When she magically can't remember them, tell her you want to know because you're cross-checking it with the list you got from the phone company because you're preparing to file a complaint with them about all the calls you missed! That ought to shut her up.

---

Posted by cookiemonster

I'm so sorry you're stuck dealing with this PITA when you've got so much else going on right now. It's inexcusable for a representative of a church to behave that way! But don't let it get to you. There is one foolproof way to clear the air though - have your cell phone company get you a list of all incoming calls to your number for a specific period of time. Then ask the secretary to give you the specific dates and times she supposedly called. When she magically can't remember them, tell her you want to know because you're cross-checking it with the list you got from the phone company because you're preparing to file a complaint with them about all the calls you missed! That ought to shut her up.

---

Oh if only I had the time! I'd so do it just to annoy them.

Unfortunately, I wasted enough time sending the pastor a 5 page letter detailing the way I have been treated. After that, I was treated much better, save for all these phone calls I'm missing. Amazing how no one else at the church has this problem!

---

Posted by cindyandkevin

Don't let her get to you, Kara, just nod and yes her to death because she isn't worth getting upset over!! Like you said, you're going to have a beautiful ceremony and this will just make it that much more worth it!!!

---

Thanks!

I'm trying - I sort of think it's funny now.

Good news is she's leaving for vacation and not coming back until AFTER my wedding. So I potentially don't have to deal with her again.