Throughout this month it's been up and down for me. I should be happy about being engaged but ever since FH took that transfer to TnT, it's been nothing but depressing. Yeah I was happy to get the dress (and arriving as fast as it did) and of course booking the majority of my vendors, but I still feel empty the fact that he hasn't called much. And now with this 'possible illness' he has and don't want to speak to anyone, including me, making me lose faith in all of this. I've been trying so hard to keep it together with the planning but I feel that I'm stuck, that I am not really moving anywhere or making progress.
We went so much to get this this point and now that we're engaged, it's now very hard to really celebrate it. I can't plan my E-Party or E-Pics or regester (though we don't need to) because of the distance. My family's there for me but I feeel out of place every time I go to a vendor and Rob's not there with me to share with the experience. Now that he is sick and won't even tell me what's really going on is making me think that he's slipping away from me.
I am at this point in which I am ready to have a breakdown if nothing progresses. I am beyond grateful for the ones who helped me through the planning process (esp. Heather and Jeri) but deep down this super sux! I'm supposed to be happy and planning one of the most important days of my life (saying one because the future babies will surpass that) without a hitch.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
I am so sorry. Things will get better just keep that in mind. For months up until recently same thing was happening to us, just a bunch of things that were happening one after another, i just kept thinking OMG when is this going to stop. This too shall pass. Your Fh not telling you everything is probably to protect you, he doesnt want to worry you more and sometimes when these things happen we shut down
xXxNovember08xXx
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
im so sorry you are in this rut...
if you need to talk we can always talk... im sorry fh isnt talkign to you about him beign sick...but maybe hes just not ready to .. and that stink s
stary strong,and things will eventually work themselvesout.
Toucan311
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
I think that guys process and react to things different than we do! Denise is right - hes probably keeping it all in b/c he thinks he's protecting you. I know it *****; just know that we're all here for you to vent, plan, etc. How can we help you make planning more exciting!? I go too all of my vendors alone too, mostly b/c FH isnt really into the planning of all this... so lets band together!
DomTriniBRL
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
Sadly Denise that's what's freaking me out. The fact that Rob isn't telling me what's going on is scaring me. I talked to FMIL yesterday and even she is scared that he isn't telling her anything either. When we talked on Tuesday, Rob told me that it's best to hold off on visiting him in TnT until he feels better. I know he and I have a whole year but with the move to PA with my mom, finding a new job, and vendors (oh my!), it's going to go fast. I feel like ripping my newly dyed light brown hair off my head.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
Posted by DomTriniBRL
Sadly Denise that's what's freaking me out. The fact that Rob isn't telling me what's going on is scaring me. I talked to FMIL yesterday and even she is scared that he isn't telling her anything either. When we talked on Tuesday, Rob told me that it's best to hold off on visiting him in TnT until he feels better. I know he and I have a whole year but with the move to PA with my mom, finding a new job, and vendors (oh my!), it's going to go fast. I feel like ripping my newly dyed light brown hair off my head.
dont get freaked out yet, people handle things differently. Im kinda like that too, i keep things like that to myself too. But at the same time also telling him what you are going through
DomTriniBRL
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
As for vendor shopping, that was a good stress reliever! What's even better? Singing along to New Kids on the Block songs along the way. LOL However I'm trying to keep it together since I am planning this wedding all by myself.
He told me that he truly misses me every minute that passes by but I just really wish he could just come home to New York. Yeah money is important but your love ones will be there when the money is gone.
megzzie
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
I'm so sorry you're going through this
But I think Denise is right - he is probably not telling you what's going on because he is thinking that he is protecting you. I know it's hard that your FH is away, but he will be back before you know it and then your wedding will be here before you know it!
Good luck with everything!
DomTriniBRL
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
I'm trying, honestly. Hey hopefully the Rangers will help (at least for a couple of hours). I look back at the pics I took of myself on Wednesday and it did put a smile of my face. But at the same time it's a little bit bittersweet as well.
iwannabmrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
loads of hugs.. are you moving to TNT (trinidad n Tobago right?) after the wedding? or is he just there temporarily? i was going to say u should go visit.. and even thouh he says not to come.. i think i'd prob still go.. sounds like u'r relationships needs a jump start.. battery getting low. and seeing each other is best for situations like that..
DomTriniBRL
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
Rob's there temporarily for his job but we're sticking to the orginal plan to settle in California after the wedding. We're planning to stay in Cali for a few more years until finally moving back to New York (specifically LI) or to the house I currently own in PA.
I really do but it might not be in my cards now because I do have that 2nd interview next week and do need to pay the rent for the house. I do need the money for that, thus not being able to spend as much time with him I want to. Plus he's taking time off for Xmas so we do what we need to do for the wedding.
I was at the Rangers game tonite (I think they lost, I left after the 2nd period) and during the game, I got a text from him. I wasn't expecting that at all but this what he said....
'I love you too, babe. I am sick and don't want to bother with my problems. Don't worry about me.'
I know I should listen to his advice but it still hurts that he's that sick.
I was also hit by a big blow when my MOH's uncle passed away 2 days ago.
davenjess
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
Okay - my opinion is that you need to get in touch with him & lay down the law. You are in this for the good & bad and you want to be there for him for this illness. He has to know that he is hurting you by keeping all this to himself and shutting you out. My FH is the same way - not telling me when he's having a crappy day - he just gets distant. Once i told him that he had to stop doing that because it was hurting me more than him just saying work *****....it's like it sunk in.
He has to know that by keeping all of this inside he can only make things worse...having someone to talk to relieves stress & will also make him feel better. If he feels that talking about it will make it real, and that I understand...maybe you can ask him to write it in a letter or email or something.
Please know darlin - we are here for you...it's silly to think that people you only know 'online' care about you and your situation - but you aren't alone!!! Even if you just need to call someone and SCREAM & Cry for an hour - i will give you my number so that you can do so!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DomTriniBRL
Posted:
Member since
Re: I'm losing faith (rant alert)
I'll be honest I'm glad he is starting to open up to me about this but that doesn't help all the worrying. If I had a problem, I don't hold it back to him or to anyone and he's always a good listener when it comes to that. But sometimes I wanna strangle him when he keeps his thoughts to himself.
I feel like calling him now and sing or play Carrie Underwood's version of 'I'll Stand By You' on his voicemail.
