Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

Original post by wacky

Oct 20, 2003 03:49 PM

Wedding etc. Sorry I want a house so badly but his market is depressing me

The other half of me doesnt envy friends but it does make things easier

Niecey Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:42 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

funny yabbo - DH and I have had this debate several times. He wants to be in a position one day where we can do this and strives for that. He wants to pay for his daughter's wedding whatever she wants. He would love to help his children buy a house and pay for college 100%. I tell him I want me kids to know the value of a dollar and I am not sure what I could do. I guess it is because I have never had that option so it is relly hard for me to say. I hate how he thinks that you pay for only the daughter's wedding and not the son! I told him if we have the good fortune to do so - than we treat any child we would have the same and what we do for one we do for all. I just know I don't want spoiled kids that think mommy and daddy will pay for everything for them..the kind that just say mommy I need this and want a benz and get it. I have seen kids like that and I hate it. I want my kids to work and work hard for what they get....

Niecey Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:49 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

PS I was around people very recently at a party who really had a lot handed to them in life this weekend and it was very frustrating to me. I had to walk away from several conversations I was ready to explode and the timing would not have been very appropriate! - so this topic is fresh on my mind!!!

swags1016 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:50 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

Wacky I feel the same way you do at times. I wish they were in the position to help more.

On the other side of the coin I am so proud of everything we have and have accomplished because we did ourselves.

It is frustrating. We want a house so badly too, especially with the animals living above me. But we will get there evidentually and as I piss and moan about I am not getting any younger I am still so proud of what we have

Remember the song if you can make here you can make it anywhere!! Sinatra said that for a reason!

MizStinker Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:54 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

I will try and give my children a good start in life it is 1st priority to me, which is to give them an education with out them having to work to support themselves. From personal experience of working my A$$ off instead of studying just to put gas in my car to get to school, pay the ins, and put clothes on my back.
I will encourage my kids to have jobs to have going out or $100 jeans money. But hopefully I will be able to provide the basics to them when the time comes..... so they can focus on there GPA. I belive that children should rise above the parent financaily that is progress.

pschica Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:55 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

wacky i feel like you as well at times!

michele31 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 04:57 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

In College it was VERY hard to see just how much other's kids parents did for them. They arrived at school in Fall with tons of new clothes, their books paid for, no loans, their car full of gas and a weekly check coming in the mail. I had to do it almost all myself and it was really, really hard. I was very envious, since my parents had the money but chose not to help.

I was one of my only friends who had to really pay for her wedding. My mom did zippo for it and my father/stepmom purchased my outfit/alterations and paid for 2 tables of their friends to attend the wedding. But most of my friends had their parents pay for the entire reception. Yes, I envied that. BUT I didn't envy the fact that those parents insisted on making a lot of decisions about the wedding. Since DH and I were paying I was able to chose my menu, my invites, never worry what others wanted. So I guess there was a trade-off.

Now, that being said my dad/stepmom have done a lot for us with the baby coming. My mom has done a bit more than I thought she would.

Like Stefanie said- I learned how to be self-sufficent and that is also an important lesson.

In regards to my own child(ren) I want them to be able to study abroad, if they want to (I was accepted but no one would help me pay for it so I had to decline), I want my child(ren) to go to College and not drop a class because the books cost too much. I hope to be able to give my child a gift to put towards their wedding and allow them to spend it as they see fit- maybe pay for their reception or their HM- whatever they need help with. So, while I do not want to hand my child money for just anything, I want them to learn to work hard, appreciate the facts that others do not have even have food to eat everyday but I also do not want them to struggle like I did in College.

yabbobay Posted: Oct 20, 2003 05:05 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

Michele...you sound like you want to do exactly what my parents did

they paid for the reception...no strings...we made all decisions...I had tuition paid...to a SUNY school...everything else I had to pay on my own...

its so sad to hear that parents would let their child struggle when they didn't have to

I really do consider myself lucky...even though I still have some large student loans from my masters...I just don't want to feel bad about it...

Sassyz75 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 05:20 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

I don't understand why, if parents have the $, they don't want to help their kid out? It's just weird to me.

neesiepie Posted: Oct 20, 2003 05:43 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

my future husband's parents have more $$$ than mine, and probably are able to financially contribute more to our wedding, but my parents can't afford to pay anything...so to keep from having arguments about whop paid what or who gave themost, we are paying for ALLLLLL of it on our own.
So far, I have put my way through college, pay for my own clothes,my own car...everything. I know that in 2 yrs, we will be proud of our accomplishments. And I VOW that my children will be well-provided for and not have to sacrifice having some (not all..they will have to work to learn the value of a $) of the good things in life because we failed to plan for our future and theirs.

AtticaQT Posted: Oct 20, 2003 05:44 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

I posted this on the other thread ...

FH parents and my parents actually offer to help - I'd rather not get anymore help.

Just because a parent does give money to their child doesnt mean that they wouldnt be able to do it on their own though.

My parents have paid for my tuition through college and law school - i complain sometimes because my parents view it as an exchange - they give the money and thus have a say over what I do. I am so utterly grateful to my parents for helping me through school. I cant say that i wouldnt have gone through college and law school though if they hadnt paid for my tuition - sure I would have been in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt now - but i would still get the same education and would work just as hard-

I think it is great that a parent can help out their child. I would love to be able to pay for my child's education when time comes. I have drawn the line with school and refuse to accept any money for the wedding from our parents

When it comes to buying a house - i wouldnt mind getting a mortgage from my parents but dont want my parents or FH just to give us the money.

To each their own - if a parent wants to give money to their child fabulous - if a parent cant give money that is fine too - the most important part is that the parents are their to share your life with.

When you have to deal with life hardships that only makes you a stronger person.

jenny2penny Posted: Oct 20, 2003 07:34 PM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

it is very hard when you feel you are stuggeling to be envious of those who it comes easy. But not everything is how it seems, and money does not buy everything, nor does it give a person intellegence, common sense, appreciation, health, compasion or love for others. Those things I find to be priceless and if you pocess them, you are truley weathly!

Being happy with yourselves and supporting one another will lead you 2 to a happy life and will find ways to make eachother happy. It does not take money to do that, only love. I know it sounds like a cheesy cliche. But I do beleive if you are happy and full of love you will come on top and things will work out, just be patient.

We too are struggleing, at a point in our lives that we worry about bills, obtaining a house, money to raise children with, etc. But we are tackleing one problem at a time and will 'make things work'

EvenEdan Posted: Oct 21, 2003 12:31 AM

Re: Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

I can honestly say no, I am absolutely not envious of others who have parents that give them oodles of $$$. I grew up and still live in Queens, my family is comfortable, but by no means wealthy. I basically grew up surrounded by people who had the same that I had or less so I never felt like I was missing out. It wasn't until I got older and started hanging out in LI going to pool parties at houses that were more like mansions that I met people who had so much. I met some people that were just gross, spoiled and completely out of touch with reality. I actually had one girl respond, 'ewww' after she asked me where I lived and I said Queens. I really thought some of these people (the girls really) were pathetic and clueless. I felt bad for them. I was baffled at how many people actually get brand new cars for their 18th birthday!! I was 21 by the time I got my first car and it was eleven years old and I was so thrilled with it! I always felt and still feel extremely lucky to have such a big, loving family. My parents are contributing very little to my wedding and that is fine because I know they do the best they can for me. I also have two older sisters and my parents wanted to make sure they could give us all the same (even though my oldest sister got married in 1984 and I am getting the same amount she got )
I graduated college and found my job completely on my own. I make good money and I look forward to building a life with FH completely on our own, no matter how long it takes us to buy a home etc. I really wouldn't want it any other way. I appreciate what I have. I find that people who have things handed to them never really appreciate things and just always want more, I would much rather achieve things on my own!! My children will be raised the same way, they will work for what they have.