Im on a self pity partyPMS-But does anyone else wish they had parents who were able to help them out more. Part of me is envious of my friends whose parents have the $$ for the big things Like Ho

Wedding etc. Sorry I want a house so badly but his market is depressing me

The other half of me doesnt envy friends but it does make things easier

My parents are paying for my wedding, but they are very old fashioned and insist. As for a house and everything else, FI and I will be doing that. My parents don't toss me money. I feel bad letting them pay for my wedding but my sister went through the same thing with them and it isn't worth fighting over.

Once you finally do get that house you will know you did it all on your own, and that is something to be extremely proud of!

Kim I think its great when parents can help out. I really do. Sometimes I just wish someone could help out a little. Thats all.

Kudos to you.

Hey How come you were able to respond?

Weird this site

Please don't let it get to you!! I know it is hard but you can do it and you will appreciate it more. That's how I feel. It is hard to struggle thru things but it will be worth it to you!!!

I am proud that I basically put myself thru college (with scholarships and lots of financial aid and loans), found my job and career on my own with no connections. Then DH and I paid for our wedding and our home on our own. I value all of our accomplishments! My mom did pay for my wedding dress and I tried so hard to fight her on this because she does not have that kind of money but she refused and felt the need and it was important to her and I let her but I guess this is me and I am just independent like this and felt bad. I just never take anything for granted and am happy with what I have - envy is not a nice thing.

Niecey YAY (Jenn clapping for you & DH!)

i feel like talking today :)

my parents/grandparents were able to help me and fh out so we can get a house by the wedding time...
i do feel really lucky for it but i didnt grow up with the money
my grandparents were originally pennyless, and them and my parents did not invest in the stock market or have high salaries but from scrimping and saving, buying clothes, etc. cheap, no brandname pocket books, no weekly facials, they set their priorities to what mattered to them....

in a way they are an inspiration to me, because they worked hard for what they acheived and had nothing handed to them, so i grew up with an appreciation for things instead of taking them for granted.

I totally understand what you are saying, how you just want a little bit of help. We are all entitled to a little pitty party of our own sometimes...so cheer up charlie! You have a wonderful husband and should be SOOOOO proud of all of your accomplishments...

not a clue why I could reply and no one else could...I am convinced this site is pocessed...

Edited because I also wanted to say that when you work hard to get what you want, you appreciate it all the more!!

Kudos to all you ladies....

Yes totally - im envious of people who have parents who help them out financially but im more envious of people who have a good family to begin with.

It would be nice to have someone to rely on - even if it were just for emotional support.

That said, not having that has made me a very self suffcient person and i think many people who rely on their parents too much because incapable of being productive adults without their parents help. Doesnt make me any less jealous of course but there is a negative to every positive.

having trouble posting here.

I understand where you are coming from. I dont envy my friends per say - more resent my family for not coming through.

My parents do provide emotional support and they are my best friends in that respect - but I get upset that I always seem to be at the bottom of thier financail priority list and always have been.
I was promised a certain amount of $ a few years ago before we were engaged- that now suddenly does not come up now that the time has come. But vacations are being planned and new cars are being bought. I could go on for hours.
Anyway at the end of the day I know that it will feel good to say we did this on our own!

its a good feeling when you work hard for something and have it in front of you.

FI and I worked very hard to pay off our land, and when I had the deed in my hand all I kept thinking was wow this is mine. This little piece of dirt and weeds is mine. If I want to put 101 orange trees i sure can because its mine. If i want to put an alligator pond sure can because its mine. I own it right down to the center of the earth (oh how i wish i'll hit oil)

Same thing with the house we are having built. We are working so much and saving for that house and when its complete its ours. All ours. If we want to paint it magenta with lime green polka dots we sure can because its all ours.

Hard work and dedication have great rewards in the end

I posted this in the other thread when I couldn't respond to this one...

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just want to offer another perspective....the grass may be greener on your side...don't envy too much:


DH was left a house in Spain when his father died...the house has caused major fights within his family (including a huge strife between him and his cousin who was like a sister) and yes we had our downpayment...but he would have traded all the money in for the chance to meet his father (he died 2 months before he was born)

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Here's another question...If you have children and had the means...would you help them out with a DP?

You women have me crying here. Im DEF PMSING

Thanks ladies and everyone should be thankful for whatever we have no matter how big or small

Sonicstef. Lets not go there with the emotional support. I will need to call Suicide Hotline JK

I hear ya, and I know what youre talking about

i definately agree that it feels better to do it on your own. also taking money from family sometimes means family expecting things out of you(negative on the postive like stef said)...

in my siutation(when i get married Ill be 22 barely out of college) and fh 2 years out of college, we especially needed the financial help, and the thing my parents expect is for me to 'pass it along', and help our (future) children out when they come to this age.

in my fiances family we get more emotional support(which we value MORE than money support) Its nice having people who truely feel happy for your, care for you, dont shoot down your idea's, etc...

so maybe some of your friends parents are giving money, but giving it as a replacement for love.... just a thought...

there are 2 threads on this topic

I have gone back and forth on this issue PLENTY...

I have family and friends whos parents paid for everything, the wedding, the house... Ect..

I for one am happy that i had paid for my wedding myself.. it wasnt the most EXTRAVAGENT affair, but we did it ourselves..

The house downpayment, sometimes i get upset that the market we are in we just cant seem to get ahead with a downpayment, but i KNOW that once we are in the house and we did it ourselves we will feel so good about it because we did it ALONE..

I have not lived in my parents house in 10 years (i am very close to my parents though) but i have NEVER EVER had to ask for a dime.. and i am more proud of that than anything..

Test Post and to sympathize.

I see people in here post about the thousands of dollars their parents are pitching in and I feel a slight tinge of envy. But it will definitely be MY wedding. Im ok with that. Im used to taking care of myself. My parents are in a tough spot so I know they can’t help. I feel guilty for even thinking of it.

It does make life hard tho. I am in ULTRA save mode. PB&J Sandwiches, soup, hotdogs, pasta are my dinner choices. Such is life. You work hard for your things and appreciate them more.

Suzanne KUDOS girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1