I'm really upset

...about planning my wedding. You wouldn't believe it, but so many things are booked a year in advance. But I asked my one of my closest friends who is my fiance's cousin to be in my bridal party. All of a sudden, she is engaged for 3 years, she wants to do it 2 weeks before mine, on October 30 when I want to do it Nov. 12. I said it's not a problem when she asked b/c I'm really not like that. I don't give a **** about someone's wedding being close to mine.

But J's parents were upset about her wedding being 2 weeks before mine. This is practically J's mother's wedding b/c she has no daughters and J's her firstborn. And John had gotten a call from them saying how upset they were, and all of a sudden, me and John were fighting about this, and John was saying how come if she was engaged for 3 years, does she have to to it so close to yours, all of a sudden. And we fought. So I asked my friend, since she is so indecisive, if she could not do it then b/c I can't take being in the middle and having to deal with this ****. And she said she didn't think she could be in my bridal party now. I am so upset. I was just like 'why am I being punished for this?' John just said his parents were like if the same people are invited, it's going to be so much money for them to give for gifts? Am I being a selfish *****? Please be honest with me.

I honestly think that YOU are not being selfish... it is your FRIEND who is being selfish! How could she do that to you? I think that is totally wrong of her.. and it's funny how people's true colors come out when they are jealous. I think she is jealous of you and that is why she is trying to hurt you like this. Don't let it get to you too much. If she can't be in your bridal party, then that is her loss. I'm sorry to go on and on like this, but that just really ****ed me off because I know someone just like her!! Try to get some sleep and maybe you will feel better in the morning

weddngs bring out weeeeeird things in people. i've noticed it with some of my friends too, so you're not alone... don't stress sweetie, your day is going to be fantastic and 10 years from now, will you even remember all this c*r*a*p?

OOOO MMMMMMYYYY GGGGOOOOODDDDDD!
The same thing just happened to me. I had a cousin tell me she is coming back to America to have her wedding around the same time as mine. Why now, all of a sudden. i have no idea.Don't worry, evrything will work out the way they are supposed to

That's called manipulation! Don't let her do that to you.. You are better than her and you did nothing wrong

I know it hurts

Try not to beat yourself up over it. I understand what you mean but if she chooses not to be in your wedding party then she is only thinking of herself and is being selfish.

Don't cry.. the wedding must go on!! Find a replacement for her quickly... just as quickly as she decided to drop out your wedding. As much as it hurts, she will realize later on how foolish she was..

I don't think you are being selfish. I think your FMIL and FFIL are being unreasonable.

While I think it's odd that your friend decided to marry 2 weeks before your wedding after you asked her to be in your wedding, I don't think that guests that will be invited to both will flip out over it. So they have to give two gifts. Big deal. Sounds like your in laws think people will only go to hers and your your wedding. I highly doubt that. If people prepare in advance, they'll be able to afford both. Or that her wedding is going to somehow eclipse yours. It won't.

I'm sorry that you feel caught in the middle and that your friend changed her mind about being in the BP. I hope that your in laws stop acting like it's such a big deal, since it isn't.

I hope they calm down about it!