Nothing is good enough for my fi mother, the dates not good, the place, the number of people, the band, the flowers..I've been so upset the past month. This is suppose to be the happiest time..but the ups and downs, its horrible. It feels like she's not going to come if it's not to her liking. I don't know what to do.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: I'm so stressed...
This is YOUR wedding, you and your FH. You need to do what both of YOU want to do, not what your FMIL wants. How does your FH feel about this?
butterfly20
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2ndtimearound is right... its your day so you decide what you want and your fiance will stick by your decision...
Engaged2
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Thanks for the words of advice...I will just try to plan without asking for any advice, which my fi is fine with. I have a feeling she will be so unhappy she will not even invite his half of the family and may not come herself. Which my fi will not be fine with. It's really sad.
butterfly20
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oh.. I have a story.. on ultimatewedding.com there was a girl who was telling of a controling mother in law.. she walked all over the couple changed the time, place, made it a large party, no alcohol.. then after the wedding took the pictures from the photographer and refused to give them to the couple... the bride then broke into the MIL house... Nothing is as bad as that
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: I'm so stressed...
Engaged: It IS sad, but it's soooo her loss if this is how she chooses to act. I'm sorry that this happy time is being made so stressful, but in the end, you will have a beautiful wedding, tailored to you and your FH, and if his mom decides to come, great. If not, again, her loss. to you.
Engaged2
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Oh my butterfly, that sounds just like my fi mom. I will have to check that site out. My fi mom has said to me we are going to have no hard liquor, just beer and wine. Guess what, my dad does not drink beer or wine, if he drinks he has a mixed drink. Its horrible. Thanks 2nd time.
butterfly20
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its very simple to tell her ' the one paying for the wedding makes decisions'... shes not paying for it
The Original 2nd-time-around
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I was just going to ask that...who's paying for the wedding? Are you guys, your parents, or his parents?? Just curious
Engaged2
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My parents are paying for the wedding. They aren't really sure how to take her. They see me upset and that upsets them. They want me just to plan the wedding, and not worry about her. My fi thinks his mom is just upset he's found someone that he wants to marry. It has always seemed like she liked me, so I don't really understand that.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: I'm so stressed...
She is not even paying for the wedding and is telling YOU no hard liquor????!!!
I'm sorry, but that is terrible. I don't mean to make you more upset, but I would be furious. You really need to make the plans the way that you want. Again, she already had HER wedding, and this is not it.
Jeez, someone shoot me if I act this way when MY son gets married
Engaged2
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lol..Thanks.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Sorry, I got alittle carried away I just feel so bad that this woman is putting you through this.
Engaged2
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Thank you, I feel bad she is putting me thru this too. I always thought it would be such a fun time planning a wedding. I thought our families would come together not grow apart. Its amazing to me.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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She's missing out on a great time. I'm sure if she was nicer you'd involve her in the planning.
karen32
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the best advice i can give you - do not ask for anyone's opinion!!! the day is about you and your FI - do what you want to do. once you ask for everyone's opinions, you open yourself up to lots of heartache. if they ask - just say it will be a surprise!
good luck!!!!
gertyrae
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Re: I'm so stressed...
Do not do this anyone else's way. This is your day, and you know what, anyone who is going to be ridiculous will be that way anyway. I would get your FI's families addresses from him, and find out who he wants to invite and make sure they get invited. Odds are at the last minute she will just go and be fine, but you never know and you certainly don't want her to dictate who is going to be there. My friends MOH did the same sort of stuff, cuz she didn't like that her son was getting married, and then by the time of the shower she totally normalled out. Of course, in her case that was when her mom decided to act like a loony. Go figure.
Engaged2
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Thanks for the responses..well she finally agreed on the wedding day and place this past weekend. I was happy about that. Hopefully she won't have a problem with anything else..lol.
cw0904
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Please spare yourself the grief and heartache with her. I did with my own mother. Who can be the biggest controlling beatch in existence. She has complained about a few things and now I don't tell her anything unless she asks. Then I only give her vague answers. She is a difficult person to please so its my way or the highway!! Sometimes having too many hands in the pot causes more pain than happiness.
I am sorry Engaged2 but I would tell her a thing or two. Especially since she isn't contributing one penny to the wedding. You should put your foot down now. If she is trying to control YOU and YOUR FH's wedding, who know what else in the future she may try to control.
