I'm so upset.......

Before I even go into this, I just want to say happy new year to all of you! It's our year!


Ok, so I went to visit a BM for New Year's Eve since JT had to work. We drove to Foxwoods, and on the way, I said to her, jokingly, 'I hope I can make it to your 30th birthday party because it does fall within the time when my bridal shower might be. ' And I was TOTALLY just kidding with her, and she looked at me and said, 'Well, that IS your bridal shower. What am I supposed to do, not tell you? How was I supposed to make it seem like you weren't invited to celebrate my THIRTIETH birthday? And anyway, your sister said you'd probably find out.' I was devastated. Why the hell couldn't she f-ing lie to me? Ever since I got engaged I've been so excited because I REALLY wanted my bridal shower to be a surprise and she ruined it And it's not one of those things where she's 'throwing me off' because she seemed like she told me because she was pissed that my sister planned it for her birthday weekend. And later on, when I said to her that I was really upset that she told me, all she said was, 'Whatever, now you know when to dress nice. Just don't tell your mom I told you, she'll be pissed.' What the f-ck? I would NEVER tell my sister or my mom because they would be so upset, but when I told JT yesterday, he was FUMING. And he said that was the last straw with this girl and now he does not want to even look at her. I feel like all of my girlfriends are so selfish and self-absorbed and mean spirited. I'm just so let down

I honestly don't think it.s such a big deal. So you know when your shower is. Does that mean you are not going to enjoy it? No. Just let it go. It's not worth being mad over.

And I agree that they parties should have been planned seperately, not in the same weekend.

That's horrible! Every bride looks forward to her shower! It really does sound like she was upset about having it on her birthday and had to be witchy about it. I had my girlfriend's bridal shower on my 10 year anniversary with my FI and never said a word! She even asked me what the heck was I doing here instead of being with him! Because I'm a good friend - that's why!!! How mean - I'm really sorry. Okay look at it this way - you only know WHEN it is nothing else so everything else will be a surpirse about it right? Okay so it's not the same thing but try to look at it that way!!! Okay so I'm not helping so here's

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Posted by prncssrachel

Ok, I'll tell you why I'm so upset...not so much because the surprise was ruined, but because she was spiteful when she told me. This BM happens to live in Massachusetts and only knows my sister and my mother. There's no way they would have known when her birthday was or if there was a party. I told her not to come if it's really going to interfere with her birthday party, since I'll be the only one missing. And going back to the whole 'surprise' thing, I've gone to great lengths for my sister's upcoming shower to be a surprise to her because I know it's hard to surprise her, and I think the effort of doing that symbolizes something more than the surprise itself. And to me that was important. Some people don't care about being surprised, but I did.

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I understand what you are saying, but again, it's not a big deal. Remember, there are some things being worth angry about, and there are some that are not. Do you really want to waste your energy on this?

Have you told anyone else that is in your bridal party? Maybe if you tell them they would decide to change the date or something if the place they are having it at is still available or the invitations have not gone out. Sorry to hear that

Why in the world is this person a friend? I think that is the bigger issue here.

I'm sorry you are hurt, it's totally understandable. Maybe you need to reevaluate why you keep someone like this in your life.

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Posted by Bunnymonkey

Why in the world is this person a friend? I think that is the bigger issue here.

I'm sorry you are hurt, it's totally understandable. Maybe you need to reevaluate why you keep someone like this in your life.

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I agree!

Sorry Rachel!

It sounds to me like this person likes to make drama. . . maybe she is sensitive about her 30th b-day and is just being difficult with whoever is nearest, which happened to be you, unfortunately.

I would concentrate on making your sister's shower a wonderful surprise and I would fake being surprised for your mom and sister. . . even though you'll know when it is you wont know any of the details about decorations, etc. . . and I'm sure that your mom and sister are working as hard on your shower as you are on your sisters.

Oh God, I'm so sorry. That has happened to a couple of my friends and it really did wind up being okay, still a wonderful day but I do understand where you're coming from. I'm so sorry

Don't feel so bad. I know that mines is in the month of February. It's hard to keep things a surprise with peoples' busy schedule.

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Posted by prncssrachel

Before I even go into this, I just want to say happy new year to all of you! It's our year!


Ok, so I went to visit a BM for New Year's Eve since JT had to work. We drove to Foxwoods, and on the way, I said to her, jokingly, 'I hope I can make it to your 30th birthday party because it does fall within the time when my bridal shower might be. ' And I was TOTALLY just kidding with her, and she looked at me and said, 'Well, that IS your bridal shower. What am I supposed to do, not tell you? How was I supposed to make it seem like you weren't invited to celebrate my THIRTIETH birthday? And anyway, your sister said you'd probably find out.' I was devastated. Why the hell couldn't she f-ing lie to me? Ever since I got engaged I've been so excited because I REALLY wanted my bridal shower to be a surprise and she ruined it And it's not one of those things where she's 'throwing me off' because she seemed like she told me because she was pissed that my sister planned it for her birthday weekend. And later on, when I said to her that I was really upset that she told me, all she said was, 'Whatever, now you know when to dress nice. Just don't tell your mom I told you, she'll be pissed.' What the f-ck? I would NEVER tell my sister or my mom because they would be so upset, but when I told JT yesterday, he was FUMING. And he said that was the last straw with this girl and now he does not want to even look at her. I feel like all of my girlfriends are so selfish and self-absorbed and mean spirited. I'm just so let down

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Sorry you feel so bad. Honestly, I think she may be trying to throw you off. Your mom, sister and FI may be in on it. Even if thats not the case, what's done is done. Just focus on all of the happy moments to come.

I'm sorry that she ruined your surprise. Sometimes, it takes moments like this to figure out who your true friends are.

Keep thinking she's trying to throw you off. It will make you feel better and help the surprise! I know what you mean about liking surprises I''m the same way but because of it they rarely ever happen.

as for the suprise all might not be ruined yet...it could still be moved or on a different day

but we all as brides have to put ourselves in others people shoes as wedding time nears....yes we all joke that people are crazy or insensitive but im sure that on a big a day as shes having
(30 is a huge b-day) shes hurt that not only is her party being taken away from but also that as a bm , now she has to choose between herself and her duties to you


take a step back and re-evaluate why shes doing this