I'm so upset and dont know what to do...

I just found out today that my MOH decided to move back to her hometown once she is done with grad school next month. I knew it was a 50-50 thing that she might move back home when I asked her to be my MoH but I felt that because of our friendship I would only want her as my MoH and no one else.

My wedding is in May, can someone tell me what needs to be done between now and May that I might need my MOH's help? I don't even care for a shower or a bachelorette party and I'm done with all the dresses. The only thing I can think of is maybe the invites but I think I can manage that between me and my fh.

People say that the months leading up to the wedding are the craziest and my wedding is less than 6 months away! I am just scared that I'll be really stressed next year and would need my MOH around.

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Posted by Kaytea

I just found out today that my MOH decided to move back to her hometown once she is done with grad school next month. I knew it was a 50-50 thing that she might move back home when I asked her to be my MoH but I felt that because of our friendship I would only want her as my MoH and no one else.

My wedding is in May, can someone tell me what needs to be done between now and May that I might need my MOH's help? I don't even care for a shower or a bachelorette party and I'm done with all the dresses. The only thing I can think of is maybe the invites but I think I can manage that between me and my fh.

People say that the months leading up to the wedding are the craziest and my wedding is less than 6 months away! I am just scared that I'll be really stressed next year and would need my MOH around.

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sorry to hear that - but there is nothing that she NEEDS to do. my moh helped me out a lot, but really what i needed her most for was moral support, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, etc. all that stuff can be done over the phone, which is how i primarily did it also.

my other bm's helped me with some physical stuff here and there (ie placecards, etc) and my moh was my #1 for emotional and mental support and that is primarily what i wanted her for and needed her for and what she provided to me!!!

don't worry, if you still want to keep her as your moh, then don't back down just b/c she's moving away. she can still be there for you without being around you physically.

How far away is she moving? Do you have other BM's who would be able to help out?

I can understand you being upset.....but you did the right thing by having her as your MOH, even if she's moving, since you said that's who your closest to. Hopefully she'll make sure she's back in town when she needs to be- for your shower, bachelorette party and of course any time you need her support!!

She's going back to Boston, and unfortunately my other bridesmaid moved up to Boston as well in September. Why would anyone leave NYC?!?!

my MOH said she'll be back down on weekends before my wedding. I guess that's a nice gesture...
I wouldnt even think of replacing her because she was my party buddy all through out undergrad--I cant imagine throwing one of the biggest parties of my life without her by my side!

I guess I'm just upset about how much I'm going to miss her more than her being a distant MOH.

my MOH lives in Oregon and is a really busy mom. My only bridesmaid has health issues, so I don't want to burdon her with wedding planning.

we're doing everything ourselves! Mind you, we're having only 70 guests, so it's not a huge chore. nonetheless, dress selection, invitations, veil, DJ, hall, photographer, ...... were all selected by FH and I together, with a consultation with my mom, and occassionally through the internet, my bridesmaid, and sometimes MOH. I think mom will take care of the shower.

So you should be fine!

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Posted by Kaytea

She's going back to Boston, and unfortunately my other bridesmaid moved up to Boston as well in September. Why would anyone leave NYC?!?!

my MOH said she'll be back down on weekends before my wedding. I guess that's a nice gesture...
I wouldnt even think of replacing her because she was my party buddy all through out undergrad--I cant imagine throwing one of the biggest parties of my life without her by my side!

I guess I'm just upset about how much I'm going to miss her more than her being a distant MOH.

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I know what you mean about being sad friends moved away... but boston IS pretty and a rather comfy place to live. AND, it's only 6 hours away.... so you can visit!

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Posted by portjeffbride

my MOH lives in Oregon and is a really busy mom. My only bridesmaid has health issues, so I don't want to burdon her with wedding planning.

we're doing everything ourselves! Mind you, we're having only 70 guests, so it's not a huge chore. nonetheless, dress selection, invitations, veil, DJ, hall, photographer, ...... were all selected by FH and I together, with a consultation with my mom, and occassionally through the internet, my bridesmaid, and sometimes MOH. I think mom will take care of the shower.

So you should be fine!

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wow that's great to know!
I'm keeping my wedding small too (approx 100) and i'm pretty confident that I can pull it together with my FH. I was just scared that I was missing something that I really need to have my MOH around for.

i'm really sorry. looks like you are mainly upset that she is leaving at such a time where you most want to share an experience with her.

but boston isn't so far! you can go visit her and i'm sure she can come by and visit you during the planning. and it prob won't be a problem for her to be here for your shower, bach party, etc!!

use lots of emails, phone calls, internet links, etc. maybe you can ask a friend who is not a bm, but who was already a bride, if she'd like to help you out a bit. since she was already a bride, she might love to help you out without wanting to be a bm.

btw- thanks for the responses!
i am starting to feel better about the situation.

Honestly, the big thing I had my MOH involved in was she came to all my fittings. Aside from that - you will just want to talk with someone - and bounce ideas off of. You can do that over the phone.

I did everything myself, and I think I did just about every DIY project you could possibly do My MOH lives in NJ. She planned my shower with my Mom but that was it. None of my BMs did anything. Another LIW bride (Sophie ) helped me with favors, and 2 of my friends who were not in my bridal party planned my bachelorette party. I wouldn't worry

thanks again, you guys are great! it's comforting to hear other people's experiences.

I agree-the biggest thing is support and she can give you that over the phone. Normally yes they would plan the shower and the bachelorette party but otherwise, just a bunch of little things. As long as she is there on the big day that is what matters most.

Almost all of my BM's live at least 3 hours or more away.

Don't worry! Make sure you talk to her alot on the phone. That helps me the most!

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Posted by Kaytea

I just found out today that my MOH decided to move back to her hometown once she is done with grad school next month. I knew it was a 50-50 thing that she might move back home when I asked her to be my MoH but I felt that because of our friendship I would only want her as my MoH and no one else.

My wedding is in May, can someone tell me what needs to be done between now and May that I might need my MOH's help? I don't even care for a shower or a bachelorette party and I'm done with all the dresses. The only thing I can think of is maybe the invites but I think I can manage that between me and my fh.

People say that the months leading up to the wedding are the craziest and my wedding is less than 6 months away! I am just scared that I'll be really stressed next year and would need my MOH around.

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I'm so sorry about this, but the good thing is Boston isn't that far away! I live there, and it takes me less than 4 hours to get to LI.
I was a bridesmaid on LI 3 times in 3 months this year and I came back to LI EVERY WEEKEND for like 6 months...because that is what we do for the people we love. You MOH will do the same things for you...she'll help you in any way she can, from near or far... because she's good friend and that's why you picked her!

My MOH lives in a different county and my only BM lives like 2.5 hrs away from us..and like 6 hrs away from where we are having the wedding... so neither one can really help with much now... but I know once the wedding comes closer they will be here like a week early to help witht he last minute things and I am sure they'll be a big help on the day itself.
So while it sux to have a good friend move away, theres really no reason she can't be your MOH, so no need to worry bout that.