I'm SO upset with FH!!!! (VENT)

FH just starteda new job and he's been coming to my house (I live with my parents) directly form worke very night. Every night I cook dinner and every night we wait for him, as he gets home way after my dad and I get home and usually later than he says he will. Tonight he came home as we were about to eat dinner. I sort of had a headache, so I didn't feel like being smoochy with him when he came home, maybe that's what made him upset, I dunno. After dinner, my parents went out and FH and I decided to have some ice cream. FH said 'Do you want to sgare a bowl?' I said 'you're just trying make fewer dishes for yourself' (Usually when I cook dinner at his place,he does the dishes..the dinner dishes ad al been done already by my mom at this point). Then after we fisihed the ice cream we were going to watch a show, so i siad, hey you'd better hurry up and wash those dishes. All lighthearted. I didn't think it was a big deal, since it was literally 2 small bowls and 2 spoons. So he gets up, puts the bowls in the sink, fills them with water and starts to walk away....I didn't know why he was leaving them there I was like 'honey, wash the dishes!!!!' so he turned around and snapped at me 'you wash them!' It was really nasty. I said, 'honey, I cooked dinner, so I figured...' and he said 'well, I worked' (nevrmind that the only reason I didn't go to work today was because I had been in a lot of pain all day, but he didn't even ASK me how I was feeling). He was saying it all very nasty....so I said 'oh, in that case...' and I got up to wash then, he tried ot block me and he said 'fine I'll do it' i said 'no.' I ended up washing the dishes and I said 'honey, I don't really understand why you couldn't wash it, it was only two bowls. I cooked dinner, so i figured you would...' and he turned around and said 'you cooked dinner? All you did was sautee some vegetables and pan fry some vegetairan sausages! Don't act like you slaved over a hot stove all day'

I was really hurt and I asked him to leave. I couldn't believe anyone could be so unappreciative. Then he came into my room and started yelling saying how could I talk to him like that and order him to do the dishes and assume that he'd do them when he's a guest in this house.

I was SO appaled. A GUEST? We've been dating for more than 5 years. He's SUCH a guest that he goes into the fridge and helps himself to whatever he wants, that he made my dog sick by taking it upon himself to give her a chewie. Such a guest that he has clothes here and parks his car here in the mroning (which my dad gave him, btw) to take the train to work every morning...I was SO upset. It turns out he didn't even leave. I found him sleeping on my couch (real guest-like, huh?). I threw him out. I nearly ejected him from the house. He was SO rude to me 'You acted like you had slaved for 20 hours over a hot stove' and I said 'honey, I didn't, all I said, was that I cooked dinner I didn't act like anything' and he said 'oh, so you cooked dinner, so that exepmts you from doing any other work for the rest of the night' And he went on and on about how he doesn't levae me a list of chores to do. When, ok, he comes home every night in a suit I picked out, a shirt I washed and pressed, outs on my sweatpants, eats the dinner I cooked, and then drives home in the car my dad gave him...only so he cna come back in the morning and I can hold his hand while he picks up the suits that *i* helped him pick out. I'm so pissed off. Its times like this that I really wonder what my life is going to be like. He has this fantasy of comig home to a nice hot dinner and me washing his clothes all the time (practically true anyway), and then he acts like it's nothing. I'm really upset. I don't know what to do.

Sounds to me like he was having a bad day & instead of just leaving the bay day at work he took it home.
I'm sure he will call you & appologize. Sorry you had such a bad night!!

Wow, I would be really mad too. Like you said, he seems to have some idea in his head about whata wifes 'duties' are and unless you plan on being that way, you need to set things straight NOW. Don't let him get into the habit of expecting you to do everything. It will only get worse as time goes on and it will be even more difficult when you have kids. My FH grew up in a very Itaslian household where his mother made his bed everyday, cleaned, folded and put away his laundry and dinner was on the table every day, and he never washed a dish. I made it very clear to him when we moved in together that I was not going to be like his mother. I have no problem doing any of those hing for him, but I'm not going to do them everyday and sometimes he can, should and does do them for me as well. Let things calm down between you and your FH and then have an honest talk with him about what both of your expectations are for your marriage. I think things will be just fine, you just need to talk this out a little. Good luck!

probably was a bad day but sounds just like my DH and I when we were engaged and first started living together....you see, in my house, the cook cleans all the dishes...that's how i was raised. But in his house, someone cooks, and then someone else washes the dishes! So, it took a conversation for us to finally realize we were brought up diff ways and to work it out! It takes adjusting.

And by the way, I think the 'guest' comment was a MALE escape!

I support what the ladies said if that is the rue reason for the argumnet.

Has he been short lately or was tonight the first time. The reason I am asking is that sometimes guys react to a situation that has nothing to do with the real problem.COuld the new job be more stressful?