Im soooooooo bored....

Please anyone, a joke a story.... something

okay - i'm going total pervy on this one - but it always makes me laugh...

why did the pervert cross the road?

---

Posted by davenjess

okay - i'm going total pervy on this one - but it always makes me laugh...

why did the pervert cross the road?

---

To get to the va-ja-ja??

because his weenis was stuck in the chicken...

cute!

---

Posted by davenjess

because his weenis was stuck in the chicken...

---

in the chicken??

Here's a joke for ya...

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma´am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said:
'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma´am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said:
'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said:
'You know, I hope you don´t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

'1955, ma´am.'

'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!'
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said:
'Wow, you sure didn´t forget much since 1955!'

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice:
'I hope not, it´s only 2130 now.'

---

Posted by rahana316

---

Posted by davenjess

because his weenis was stuck in the chicken...

---

in the chicken??

---

Yes - IN....

so bored also 5:00 could not come quick enough

HAHAHAH

here's another one

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an 'after-hours' appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!'

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, 'You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!'

To which the bird replied, 'Killer, get him!!!'

OK ok i have one. I'm bored too.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

---

Posted by ZKAT22

here's another one

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an 'after-hours' appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!'

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, 'You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!'

To which the bird replied, 'Killer, get him!!!'

---

good one

---

Posted by rahana316

OK ok i have one. I'm bored too.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?

---

????

hahahahahh