I'm sorry... I have to vent also - update 3/31/05

Ok - first item for this morning...

My FSIL calls to tell me that my sister (MOH) sent my shower invites to people who AREN'T being invited to my wedding The reason she has these additional names is because FMIL gave her HER list - 90% of the people my FH doesn't want invited to our wedding because he either doesn't know them or doesn't like them. But since FMIL gave my sister all the names, she sent out all the invites. So now, we have to invite an additional 14 couples to our wedding, pushing our invite list to over 150.

Then, after I vent about that to FSIL, I canll the seamstress who is supposed to alter my gown - which is scheduled to arive Wednesday, and I speak with her husband who informs me that she may not be up to doing any work since she just had her kidney replaced and she's going to the doc's 2x's a week.

I feel terrible that she's not well, but OMG she could have called and told me she was having surgery and that I should possibly look for someone else. Now, her husband told me to call back later and talk to her myself, but I'm freaking out over all the bad news this morning.

Now I've already told FH about the additional people being invited to the shower and he is dead set against inviting them to our wedding. I know we HAVE to invite them but he says that because his mom intervened again, that he doesn't care and doesn't want to invite them - period. What do I do?! Obey common coutesy and invite them - hoping they don't show, or obey FH's wishes and not invite them?! I'm so confused!!!

And in case my seamstress can't alter my dress... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE recommend someone else to me so my dress looks pretty for my day.

OMG - I wanna cry right now!

Sorry it's so long.

I'm sorry you're having such trouble!

Anyone invited to the shower has to be invited to the wedding according to every etiquette I have read.

RE: a seamstress, I wish I knew one. I'm sure you can find one!

Oh my goodness - what a horrible morning you've had! Maybe your seamstress will suggest someone who can fill in for her while she's recovering. Or the shop you bought the dress at might be able to recommend someone else.

Re:FMIL and the guest list - that sux and I know how you feel. Unfortunately, I think once those invite have gone out (for the shower), you have to invite them to the wedding

I don't know of any seamstress personally, but maybe you could just use a bridal shop that has great reviews?

Also, I have to agree with mcaula, anyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding. Sorry sweetie!

Oh my Gosh, I am so sorry I'm sorry for your FH but its true, if they are invited to the shower, they have to get an invite to the wedding per etiquette. I'm sorry

I agree with the other girls that you should invite the other guests to the wedding. But I would insist that you FMIL pay for those guests. Its not right that she would add those guests knowing full well that they werent invited to the wedding.

I'm so mad at FMIL right now that I don't even want to see or talk to her.

As for the dress - I bought it from an ebay vendor, so I really need an outside seamstress to alter my dress... anyone? Please send me to someone good!

Wow, whatta day you've had!

As far as the guest list - if they are invited to the shower they should be invited to the wedding.

However, I think this is something that your fiance should discuss with his mother. It sounds like you're in the middle, and you shouldn't have to be. I agree with DivaBride though, if your future Mother-In-Law is insisting that these people be invited, she should be responsible for whatever cost is incurred.

I'm sorry about the seamstress. That's terribly unfortunate. I wish I knew someone!!

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

As for a seamstress, try Phyllis Limmer of Gownfind.com. 631-368-6462 in Northport, NY

She does custom work for Bridal Suite in Melville as well as for her own business. She is nice and does great work!

Let us know how you make out!

FH has talked to her about the people he doesn't want there - more then once! And I've been witness to two of the conversations! I think I might just have to right up the additional cost for these people if they RSVP yes and she can add that to the small donation they offered to give us towards the wedding.

I can't believe how sick I still feel... this su(ks

I have to agree with blu-ize. You should nip this behavior asap, or else she will have the upper hand forever. Have you ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond??? I wouldnt wish that on anyone!!! Good luck, I know it wont be an easy conversation, but your FH should do most of the talking........

That's what FH and I think - that she did this on purpose to get her friends there. Like I said, FH has told her flat out more then 2 times that he doesn't want those people there. I really don't want to invite them now and let her deal with it.

I'm so glad we are moving out of state after the wedding... I can't deal with this.

If I had the morning you had...I think I would leave work and go home back to bed!!! I can't even imagine!!! Why do MILs feel the need to meddle?! She s/b responsible for paying for these 'extra' people she has taken upon herself to invite! Unfortunately there is no way around it.

I'm so sorry to hear about the alterations. I don't know of anyone, but will ask around. What does your dress look like? Does it have a lot of beading, etc.?

I'm sorry, I feel your pain

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Posted by JCMsGirl05

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

As for a seamstress, try Phyllis Limmer of Gownfind.com. 631-368-6462 in Northport, NY

She does custom work for Bridal Suite in Melville as well as for her own business. She is nice and does great work!

Let us know how you make out!

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I second that! Phyllis is great!

Good luck!

103005FallBride - this is it:


I got it at an awesome price from an ebay vendor - it's a David's knock-off, but looks to be so much prettier

If I end up having to go with another seamstress, I'll call Phyllis... Thanks girls!