Im stressed!!! My BM is driving me nuts

Well as most of you already know.. I have this one BM who is supposed to be a good friend. She begged to be me to be in my BP even though I was trying to keep it really small. Well anyway at first she was really helpful.. always calling me and going with me to look at bm dresses and photographers.. but the last few months she never calls, never has time to go do wedding stuff, complains to the other BM's about money and buying us a gift, and I confronted her the other day (finally) and she apologized and 'shes been soo busy at work she doesnt have time to talk to or hang out with anyone' well a mutual friend of ours just emailed me pictures of them together with a bunch of people hanging out a week ago at a party!! This is someone she isnt even close to and now im really hurt that she lied to me... I want to ask her out of the bridal party. Am I wrong? How do I say it??
** I just wanted to add she has no cash for anything.. but just bought a $500 LV bag and a $250 fendi bag the same day ?!?!?

I don't think you are wrong at all! It depends if you still want her as friend after you ask her to step out as to how you do it. If you want her in your life, i would give her the opt out speech. Something like 'I know money is really tight right now for you, other comminments may be taking you away from responsibiliities of being in a bridal party at this time. I would not be upset if you wanted to step out' and see what she says

IF don't want to be friends-Straight out ask her to step out and that's that! she asks why, then point out what evidence you have

JMO

I would tell her that you are hurt that she can't make time for you but clearly has time for other people. Mention the money thing with the wedding expenses and see what she says.

If it's a busy time at work for her, she may not want to spend her free time running wedding errands with you. (I don't mean this in a bad way, but she is obviously not going to have the same level of excitement as you.) And while it's nice to have company, I don't think she needs be available to you all the time. This of course excludes the BM gowns.

I hope you work everything out

---

Posted by ChristineC68

I would tell her that you are hurt that she can't make time for you but clearly has time for other people. Mention the money thing with the wedding expenses and see what she says.

---

that is asking for trouble...

what friends do with their $$ is their business and their business only.

---

Posted by september2004

---

Posted by ChristineC68

I would tell her that you are hurt that she can't make time for you but clearly has time for other people. Mention the money thing with the wedding expenses and see what she says.

---

that is asking for trouble...

what friends do with their $$ is their business and their business only.

---

I didn't mean what she spends her money on, the fact that she has expressed concerns over the costs involved with the wedding. I should have been more clear there.

I agree 100% that no one has any right to tell anyone how to spend their money.

Personally I think it is your wedding and you can do whatever you want. I would tell her, you begged to be in my wedding and now it seems you don't want any part of it. Give her an out. Tell her look, I understand you are very busy and you are tight on cash and I don't want this wedding to break you, but I would totally understand if you don't want to be in the BP anymore, tell her you know it is a huge expense. See if she bites and takes you up on the offer. If that doesn't work, then eventually if she doesn't change her tune, just flat out tell her you don't want her in the wedding because she just doesn't seem like she wants to be there and she just doesn't want to give the time necessary to being in a wedding. Hope everything works out!!