I'm very upset...about my shower(LONG)

Aww, Im really sorry to read that! Can't you tell your mom that this is what you were afraid of & now its coming true cuz your friends are declining to come?

It sounds like you already know when your shower is .. . any way you can have your shower at yoru place in Manhattan or somewhere else in teh city? I know its probably not exactly what you wanted but . . . if it'll make it easier for your friends to attend .. . I hope your Mom comes around, good luck!

1st of all. . .I'm really sorry that you are feeling kinda blue . .

You can best believe that my only prayer sometimes would be for people to be considerate of the things that I want . . .as opposed to what THEY want. Hey . . .this IS MY WEDDING, isn't it??

But July . . . not to play devil's advocate here . . .but, I don't think that an 1hour train ride is a huge sacrifice to attend your shower!! Maybe to fly in from France, Italy, or Vermont would be a major concern . . .but I'm sure that a lot of people commute much longer than that on a DAILY basis . . .just to go to and from work. I know people who work in NY and who live in Philly!

Why can't your friends make this tiny sacrifice for one day?? They ARE your friends, aren't they? A real friend could do it.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Your mom should have it at a venue where most people can make it. Can you arrange a car pool somehow wit your friends in Manhattan? Or plan a night out with your friends who can;t make it? I am doing just that for a friend who lives in VA and cannot make my shower. Are your friends able to come to the wedding? If so they will still be part of your special day. Cheer up!!!

good luck

Karen

I don't want to make you more upset, but I'd be more angry with my friends, than my mom.

An hour train ride is nothing! People commute back and forth from LI to NYC everyday. So what if they lose the whole day - its your shower! And they should be willing to make the effort to get there. For my shower (which was also in Suffolk) - I had people from Brooklyn, NYC, Staten Island, Baltimore, NJ, CT, Virginia, etc. Sure it wasn't convenient but they came for me. I flew in fron San Francisco for 2 of my good friends showers.

Where are the rest of your guests? There are 3 of your moms friends in suffolk, 9 of your friends in NYC. Where's everyone else?

edited to say: I'm sorry you're going through this and I don't mean to appear unsympathetic. I understand why you'd be upset that you won't have your friends there.

Hey! I totally understand about mom's having their own agendas and not taking the bride's feelings into account. Argh!!! There's nothing you can do really, is there?

It's too bad that your friends can't make it. You have a right to be annoyed with them as well. I live in Manhattan, but frequently make the train trip (at least 2 hours one way when you include the cab ride to Penn, more if I'm feeling poor and take the subway) out to Eastern LI (where I grew up) for my friends' bridal and baby showers. They are good friends and I want to celebrate with them. It's perfectly understandable for you to be sad that they won't make the trip for you.

That being said, why don't you see if the friends that can't make it to your shower will meet you in the city for dinner some time that weekend? That way at least you will get to see them. Good luck!

July - I'm very sorry that you're upset by this - your shower should be a joyous occasion. However, as someone who commutes from the middle of Suffolk to downtown-NYC everyday - I would be more annoyed at your friends! A train ride shouldn't bother them - I would rather be on the train then stuck in traffic. I can see your mom's side of it - since she is paying she should do what is convenient for herself (to a certain degree). She may have lots of things planned and it might have just been easier for her to stay local.

Definitely see if you can meet up with your girlfriends during a different part of the weekend.

Hope everything works out!!

I am sorry that your mom didn't listen to you and that your friends can't make the trip out to your shower. I think they are all wrong and should do EVERYTHING they can to see you, esp since you dont get to see them too often.

sorry to hear that you are so sad, and your mother hasn't been too understanding about the shower and your friends. Can't you do something with them on your own? good luck!