In desperate need of advice

You really don't ever have a perfect life, but you always think the grass is greener on the other side. I occasionally think 'what if' about my exes., but then I think about how we had our issues too, and I love my husband so much and married him because he is the perfect person for me, and I can picture spending the rest of my life with him.

Yes, there is one person I always think I would have been great with too, but he's my best friend, and what if it did fail? Then what? I have no firendship and no marriage.

I knew from the start that I would marry my DH and have no regrets.

It sounds like you're in a funk and your mind is getting away from you. Have a date night with DH and regroup, if the feeling doesn't pass, you need to talk.....

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Posted by curliegirl



It sounds like you're in a funk and your mind is getting away from you. Have a date night with DH and regroup, if the feeling doesn't pass, you need to talk.....

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I agree. if you can't lose this feeling, it's time for the 2 of you to talk and possibly cry or yell.

wow i am so sorry that you are dealing with this...but you need to put t hings into perspective before you make a big mistake..

first off, hopefully you arent giving any signals to your husband about this..he will sense it right away and become upset

second- i beleive that if it was meant to be it will be...why did your relationship with this other person end? why did the communication only resurrect now? could it be because you are married ? How do you know for sure that he even feels the same way?

Here is the thing- you are married now and unless you are willing to risk your marriage and possibly get divorced, you should stay completely away from this guy and away from any situation where you may jeopardize your marriage.

We all have that one that got away...but you have moved on with you life and you need to get him out of your system. If you really think you made a mistake and want to be with this other person, why did you get married in the first place?

I think you should seek counseling for this. Go on your own and speak to someone that can give you professional advice. Good luck with everything

As other posters have said, there is no such thing as a perfect life and so many of us have that one who got away.

I think that when things aren't the way that we'd like them to in our relationships, we tend to take refuge in the 'what ifs' and idealize them. It's easy to let *what might have been* invade your thoughts but you can't allow that to happen.

Sometimes, something prevents us from being with the one who we perceive to be our soulmate. But it doesn't mean that any other kind of love you experience with someone else isn't as true or passionate or fulfilling. It just fits your life in a different way. You say that your marriage is happy and blessed and you are lucky to have that. Because even that is not guaranteed with a soulmate.

Maybe if you take some time with DH alone, it will help you refocus with your marriage. If you have time together, but still have these thoughts, you may want to talk to someone about it. Good luck

There's a reason you two didn't come together, and there's no way of knowing that you two would have had a 'perfect life.' What is that anyway, and who has it? Perfection is knowing, loving and accepting who you are, apart from a soulmate, a husband or anyone else. You and your husband have a bond now that is stronger than anything you had with this other person. Continue to love and focus on your husband and you will soon see that nothing is worth looking back for.



We're here for you.

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Posted by Blu-ize

Maybe it's time for a little personal therapy. Think about talking to someone to put it in perspective.

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I agree with this whole-heartedly.

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Posted by curliegirl

You really don't ever have a perfect life, but you always think the grass is greener on the other side.

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EXACTLY what I was going to say.

Have you considered seeing someone for counseling? I had a 'similar' situation.

You never really know what could/should, would have happened. Maybe that other person is the one or maybe he is not. Sometimes our mind make 'potential' opportunities better that they really are. And sometimes those opportunities are better than what we have.

There are a few instences when the grass was greener on the other side, but in most cases it is not.

I believe you should meet with a counselor and try to sort it out.

It is not easy and nobody can really tell you what to do.

But we can be here and be supportive!

Good luck!