Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Ok. Here I go to Vent.....

We didn't speak to my future inlaws for over a year and I couldn't be happier.. When Ron's lil brother got sick and was in the hospital he asked if we made up with them bc he missed us all together.,,, Ok. So we made up against my feelings. I did it.
I don't have siblings... So I can't be fair I guess..

Well the parents didn't change and his brother the next oldest still has a chip on his shoulder , still is a jerkoff and is still dating the girl who caused the inital problem.
(BEAR WITH ME I A GETTING TO THE POINT)..

Well I can't stand her and I don't think I should have to be in a house filled with family ( I haven't met most yet) with her there. I know it will cause a scene and be a altercation if she comes.. So I had Ron call his mother last night and ask if she will be there. Since we are so happy and can't wait to tell the rest of his family about our news I think she shouldn't be invited. She should be asked to come over for the day and not the eve..

Am I being unfair? I refuse to ruin our happiness and our night bc of her and since she is 18 and not part of the family am I being nuts?

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

I'm not sure what the history is with this girl and if it is beyond repairing or at least 'fake' repairing. I wouldn't let her ruin your holiday or your relationship with your fi's family. I know it is easier said then done, but maybe you can just ignore her or simply just have short conversations (hi & bye) with her and mingle with the other guests.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

I've got family issues too. Someone told me last night though, Family is family. Although this girl might not be 'family' she's dating someone who is. I'm not sure what the situation w/ her is.. .but why should her being there take away from you and Ron's happiness and sharing that happiness? If SHE wants to be a sourpuss, let her. I say, try to be the bigger person It's hard sometimes, but life is hard.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Theresa, unfortunately when we marry someone we marry their families and the crap that sometimes goes along with it.

I say to **** this one up, share your news with your families and do not let this young lady get to you.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

History is she is a low life bottom line. She uses his brother for his $$ whatever he has.. She makes him believe she is getting on American Idol.. Shall I go on...

I don't like people like her and I can't make nice .. She pinned the brothers against each other. She had her bf curse me out at a party and insult me way beyond you can imagine and if he wasnt' my future BIL I would have called the cops.. and then my ffil got involved and I won't even tell you what he did...

So NO I can't make nice she is not a steady GF so her place isn't needed there.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

What does Ronnie think?? Can he ask his mom to have her come over later or leave before you get there?? It would be very special if you could be able to spend the day or night enjoying your engagement with his family. I'm sorry to hear this is happening.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Uhm if I am understanding correctly you are saying that the get together will be at the inlaws house? If so I would think that guest are out of place to request who is and is not invited to the host house.

I know it may be difficult and I understand as I have my own issues with ILs.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

I think you need to take the high road here. As previously stated, you are marrying both FH and his family. You have an opportunity here to make yourself look like the adult, handle this maturely. Odds are, this girl will bury herself before you bury her, so really just go on with your holiday and enjoy yourself!!

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Ronnie hates her.. We saw her in the mall a year after all the drama and she had the ba*** to come over to him and say hello.. He ignorged her.

She said you JERK*** .. Get over it..

You can tell she is very classy. Any person who would get off having brothers almost fist fight is somone I don't want to be in a house with celebrating holidays....

He said My brother will get over this stage but I won't be a part of it.

His Mother is a Hippie and You can't even imagine how bad she is.... So when he called her she said OK I will find out...

He said MOM if you allow her to be there instead of us then we don't need to be around people like you!

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

I feel as if I am ALMOST family so I can ask who will be invited............I refuse to be uptight for the special day!

If they chose to have her there fine then they can celebrate the holiday without us and we can be with my family.............


Ronnie must be the odd ball bc yes you are marrying him and his family but when you see how bad your family is its embarassing to admit but you don't want to be a part of them either!

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

You must rememer in order to control the situation you must not react to people's negative energy. You are making her have control by making her get to you.

Really I would go and enjoy myself. She is not family like you said so forget her.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Theresa I feel your anger and frustration I really do. Sounds like her and FH's sister would make excellent pals.
I have grown to adapt to this witches lack of motherly behavior, Miss wannabe teeny bopper at 28 yrs old!

Everyone has said it: you are marring into his family. You are getting the entire package whether you like it or not. What I do is ignore the thing. I don't say hello, don't say goodbye, don't interract in conversations she is a part of. I treat her like she is a piece of furniture that happens to be in my way. It sounds awful but I can't respect anyone that can't respect me or their parents or their own child. I can't be fake and be nice to make it seem like everything is all dandy. She doesn't deserve my attention and respect. So I feel you on this Theresa. She is just a GF though. Do you see signs of them breaking up? How old is your FBIL?

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Honestly Theresa, you have to not let her get to you so much. She is insignificant in the bigger picture. You have trust that your FH will defend himself, and handle his brother himself. Do not put yourself in the middle of this, let it go. The worst position for you to be in is between two brothers, trust me on this.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

She is 19 as he is....He just had a beautiful gf but she left him bc she got sick of him..He is a nightmare!

She has this I am a gansta Bitc* attitude. She works in a hair salon and tires to tell his mother she makes clear 3k a week..

Please don't get me started .. Its bad enuff I have to speak and tolerate his parents. I refuse to be around someone like her. If she wasn't the GF I would have SMACKED her in July 01.. But I let things go.. Let my future FIL push me and go.. We had no contact and it was the best times for us ever.. Ronnie knew and finally saw his nuclear family for how they are. We still saw the younger brothers bc they have no clue........

My patience for this situation are thin. So I was an adult.. Had him call MOMMA and ask prior to us being there and causing a scene and leaving!

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

This goes deeper than just the girlfriend then obviously. It's not even her, it's your FH's brother obviously.

Sweety, if it's that bad, I think it will have to remain up to your FH if he wants to deal with them. It is his family, and if you don't get along with them now, it's only going to get worse after the wedding...I hate to be the bearer of bad news. If it's that bad, then don't do the holiday there. You seem to have a great deal of contempt for his whole family....and I think it's just magnified because of this girlfriend. But, she is completely insignificant, and honestly calling to find out if she will be there, and writing off spending Christmas with them if she is, is likely igniting this even further. Just take the high road, leave it up to FH if you will spend Christmas there.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Sweetie...just ignore her. Don't try to pay her no mind. I learned that the hard way with so many family members on my DH side. I know exactly what you are going throught. Just say hello and goodbye, let her be. She will probably not be around much longer, you never know.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Ronnie and I agree.. She was the problem.. Yes his parents are LOSERS and he knows that but we were OK dealing with them..

But when his brother started with this girl he changed.. He thinks he is a gansta thug need I Say more. she is the one who told him to fight with Ronnie and get him started. Screaming in his face. I guess when its your first piece of A** these are the things you do to keep it.. When Ronnie tired to make nice he didn't want to hear it bc it upset his GF...

We were SOOO excited to see the family and meet new people but I will not go against my beliefs and be around someone like that..

We had a nice dinner with his family on Sunday minus the brother (he had to work)......

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

I agree with what Latina says. Its very hard to take the high road but you need to do it.

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

You girls are all alot better of people then I am..

There is no way I will let someone talk shi*, allow my fh and brother to fight and think I will make nice in the room with her....
Not in a million years.. I have some pride

Thanks girls!

Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn

Maybe it would be best if you spent the majority of the holiday with your family and just stopped by his parents house for a short time. You do the meet and greet with family members you dont know and get out of there. This way you have done the 'right thing' by his family and you can enjoy your holiday.