Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Original post by btrflygrl

May 06, 2004 10:06 AM

What would you do if you found your DH/FH/FW cheated? Let's say it was not an on-going thing and the two of you have been together for quite some time....

Forgive? Forget? Fight? Leave the relationship?
Work it out?

violet Posted: May 06, 2004 03:42 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I agree with the above. I think it would hurt even more if FH was emotionally involved with a girl as well that he really does have a connection with her.

But if he cheated, I'd be out. I wouldn't be able to trust him again.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 06, 2004 03:44 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

so you'd be hurt if he developed an emotional connection to another woman, but if he cheated he'd be out...
so you don't consider developing emotional connections with other women to be cheating....

see...there are so many parts to this topic.

violet Posted: May 06, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I guess if there was a woman who he was telling everything to and sharing his feelings with, I would be bothered. But he basically hangs out with all guys unless they have their girlfriends there. He doesn't have any close girl friends which I'm pretty happy with. So if he all of a sudden met a girl and was talking to her all the time, I'd ask him what was up.

brideinapril Posted: May 06, 2004 04:03 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

My opinion is emotional cheating is cheating as well, same as touching, sex,kissing, computer sex anything that involves another person in an intimate way is cheating.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 06, 2004 04:06 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Posted by brideinapril

My opinion is emotional cheating is cheating as well, same as touching, sex,kissing, computer sex anything that involves another person in an intimate way is cheating.

are you one of the people who stated that having friends of the opposite sex is acceptable?

i can't remember if you are...

there's a fine line.

brideinapril Posted: May 06, 2004 04:08 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by brideinapril

My opinion is emotional cheating is cheating as well, same as touching, sex,kissing, computer sex anything that involves another person in an intimate way is cheating.

are you one of the people who stated that having friends of the opposite sex is acceptable?

i can't remember if you are...

there's a fine line.

No I'm definetly not.

violet Posted: May 06, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Well, if FH had a girl friend whose like a sister to him, it might bother me, but if he knew her since he was young, what can you do? But since he doesn't have any now, I think it's strange if he did all of a sudden have a girl friend because you know I'd ask myself how did he meet her, why do they talk so much, what do they do together, etc?

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: May 06, 2004 04:23 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Goodbye FW. I don't believe in cheating. True love is destiny in my eyes. I'm a very stubborn person, so its hard for me to forgive and forget.

smilealways Posted: May 06, 2004 04:26 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

My FI has a lot of female friends that he hangs out with the in the city while I'm here in San Diego and I have no problem with it. I trust him completely. I am certain I would know if he was cheating on me, and he knows in my book that it is the one thing that's really unforgivable. I've been there before, and never want to do it again. I firmly believe that if you are so tempted that you can't control yourself to do something even as small as kiss someone else, you shouldn't be with your significant other.

wenndypoo Posted: May 06, 2004 06:20 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Posted by brideinapril

My opinion is emotional cheating is cheating as well, same as touching, sex,kissing, computer sex anything that involves another person in an intimate way is cheating.

I agree. And if he ever cheated, he'd be gone.

dm24angel Posted: May 06, 2004 06:38 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I truly thinks it depnds, if it were right now Hell no, he would have to go, if I were married say 30 yrs with kids, It would depend, more then likly I would say get the hell out but ya never know till you are say 30 yrs older how you will feel then.

OctGroom Posted: May 06, 2004 08:25 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Over and done.. simply put.

BriBri529 Posted: May 06, 2004 08:29 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I'd be gone- Cheating and Deception are two things I cannot and will not EVER tolarate.

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: May 06, 2004 10:31 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Posted by oct.2004bride

GOOD BYE FH

In my eyes, i might be able to forgive but i know myself and i
would NEVER FORGET..

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

Same here

nferrandi Posted: May 06, 2004 11:16 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I guess I'm in the minority. I certainly don't think it's acceptable for FH to cheat, but depending on the circumstances, I may try to forgive him and work things out. One of my BM cheated on her boyfriend a couple of years ago. They had been together for 3 years and she was taking her relationship for granted. She cheated while on a girls trip and got totally busted. He put her through He!! for a while, but ultimately they got back together. Knowing them both as well as I do, I can honestly say that they are a fantastic couple and belong together. The experince made her realize how much she loves him and good she has it with him, he's wonderful to her. He took a long time to trust her again, but they are now so happy together. They've been together another 3 yeasr since then and will be getting engaged soon.

marymoon Posted: May 07, 2004 01:08 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I have to out in my 2 cents. My best friends in life have usually been guys. I'd say it's about 50/50 with the feelings for each other.

Also, with cheating, I think it deoends and you never know what you'll do until you're in the situation. I dumped my bf form before FH for cheating. FH both kissed other people early on, but just kissed and we were young and we told each other all about it. It was mostly me. I'm not a cheater, I'd never do that to him now, but I was young, and I just needed to get it out of my system and figure things out. I'd never cheat on a marriage or anything like that. I just like to kiss boys No, but seriously, I think it really depends.

Becky Posted: May 07, 2004 01:59 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I am not sure what I would do. I can't imagine my DH ever doing such a thing and I can't imagine that we would have problems in our marriage that would go unaddressed to the point that someone cheated. I think that most couples who end up having to deal with cheating had many problems leading up to the cheating that they just ignored. A lot of people who cheat don't even really care when they get caught because they want out anyway.

Lets just hope that none of us ever have to deal with that.

JimmysBride Posted: May 07, 2004 02:38 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

I really think it depends. Though I would never admit it to FH, if we were married, I'd TRY to work it out...IMO, you owe it to the marriage to at least TRY... otherwise don't take the vow that says 'in good times AND in bad'... that doesn't mean that I could get over it, I'm not sure. If he cheated on me BEFORE we got married or engaged, that would = goodbye!

kdelace Posted: May 09, 2004 12:28 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

in my opinion, saying and doing are two different things. I can say that if I ever found out my husband was cheating on me, that I would leave him in a heartbeat. But I dont know what I would do. I know i could never trust again but it would be so hard.. I also could say that I would never think that my husband would cheat on me but reality is sometimes you never know.

I know someone that was married, had kids and everything was great, so she thought.. She thought she had a great marriage until the 'other woman' finally came clean and left things at her doorstep- clothes, letters, etc... long story short, her husband had carried on an affair with a woman for years- he had a separate cell phone, PO BOx # etc. i have heard so many stories about this happening.

Im not trying to be a skeptic but I also dont want to have the blindfold on either.

Rainmama Posted: May 09, 2004 12:51 PM

Re: Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

Posted by btrflygrl

only exception being the oposite sex best friends...which I happen to believe don't exist (one or the other ALWAYS has a thing for the other one....they just don't act on it)

Well, unless that member of the opposite sex is gay! Then you can have a quite wonderful, non-sexual friendship. Most of my best friends are gay men!
And, yes, I do have straight male friends that I consider close who I would NEVER EVER have feelings for.