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Interesting Article on Yahoo today
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
I saw that too! I completely understand why us women wouldn't want to change their names at all. I personally have never liked my last name, and FH's last name is short like my old one, and it's still italian-sounding, so I'm all for changing it!
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
im old fashion i cant wait to take my fh last name.. but i get why alot of ladies dont want to.
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
I filled out the pre-paperwork on Saturday for my marriage license. I put down to hyphenate and I cried all day. I NEVER in a MILLION YEARS expected to change my name. I decided to hyphenate since I thought it would make FH happy and it will be a bit easier when we have kids. I've heard of people who have trouble when trying to take their kids out of the country, etc. This way I could at least get one from of ID with my DH's name on it.
But FH also told me it doesn't make him as happy as if would just take his name entirely and that made me more upset because I felt like even hyphenating is a HUGE sacrifice on my part.
I am just really against the name change thing. I get why people do it on some level (and i did relent and order our Channa Plaque with FH's name only), but like when people on my faceook frineds list get married and come back and change their names immediately, just drop their maiden names and take on a new name, it makes me kind of sick. I know that's weird. But i feel like, how can you just drop your own name like that and immediately take on someone else's?
It's so weird to me.
That's totally leaving aside the politics of it.
Professionally I'm keeping my maiden name. I don't think there's any reason for anyone to know I'm married who my husband is. I know it will happen but when I'm addressed as 'Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname' I will probably vomit in my mouth.
If it's Mrs. (or preferably Ms) Myfirstname hislastname I can handle that, since people call me that already when we travel and on the phone.
But FH also told me it doesn't make him as happy as if would just take his name entirely and that made me more upset because I felt like even hyphenating is a HUGE sacrifice on my part.
I am just really against the name change thing. I get why people do it on some level (and i did relent and order our Channa Plaque with FH's name only), but like when people on my faceook frineds list get married and come back and change their names immediately, just drop their maiden names and take on a new name, it makes me kind of sick. I know that's weird. But i feel like, how can you just drop your own name like that and immediately take on someone else's?
It's so weird to me.
That's totally leaving aside the politics of it.
Professionally I'm keeping my maiden name. I don't think there's any reason for anyone to know I'm married who my husband is. I know it will happen but when I'm addressed as 'Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname' I will probably vomit in my mouth.
If it's Mrs. (or preferably Ms) Myfirstname hislastname I can handle that, since people call me that already when we travel and on the phone.
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
I would have to say I agree with you. I was totally against changing my name. For the past 29 years, it has been my identity, it has been who I am and what I am known as. I know that I am getting married and traditionally taking on the husbands last name is common, I chose to keep my last name, FH was not happy. To make a compromise, I will hyphenate my name on legal documents. I am keeping my name at work. I just feel that I lose a part of my individuality if I give up my name. That is not to say I disagree with women doing it, I just know that for myself I prefer to keep that part of me.
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
FH mentioned this article last night, and he thought it was interesting, but thought I fell somewhere in the middle of it all!
I am 28, almost 29 and love my name
I work in a field that is dominated by men, and I want to maintain my identity in it
FH doesn't want me to change my name, so we are sticking with who we are! If someone calls me Mrs. So and so, that's fine, but I will probably introduce myself as Ali G....Aaron's wife, not as Mrs. so and so
I am 28, almost 29 and love my name
I work in a field that is dominated by men, and I want to maintain my identity in it
FH doesn't want me to change my name, so we are sticking with who we are! If someone calls me Mrs. So and so, that's fine, but I will probably introduce myself as Ali G....Aaron's wife, not as Mrs. so and so
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
Posted by rosatemp
im old fashion i cant wait to take my fh last name.. but i get why alot of ladies dont want to.
This exactly!
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Re: Interesting Article on Yahoo today
Posted by sjr385
HSsweethearts, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I have another year to decide what I'm doing name-wise but FH and I have had many, many discussions about it. He couldn't understand why I might NOT take his name until I suggested that he take mine. He said no immediately because that's always been his name (me too...), that's how he's known professionally (me too...), it's important to him to present a united front (taking my name would do that too...), and he's the only male grandchild who can carry on the name (so I have to change mine because I have a brother?). Talking through the reverse scenario helped him understand why I hesitate. And that's ignoring the potential social and economic implications. He definitely still has a strong opinion but, the way I see it, it's my name and I'm the one who has to live with it.
My FH, like most men, I think, would not even entertain taking my name or hyphenating even for a second. I understand it's SO against social norms for men to do so, but it's like why am I expected to do this, and it's laughable for you to even consider it?
I feel like throughout the whole process women have so many more difficult decisions to make, not just with names but with career/family
