Interfaith brides and PreCana

Please Help

My FH is Jewish, I am Catholic. Neither of us are particularily religious, but we discussed raising our children Jewish. We signed up for Interfaith PreCana, and are now looking for a priest to co-officiate.

I have been told by two priests that it will be impossible to have a Priest at the ceremony, because we are not raising the children Catholic.
Is there any alternative to us to getting a priest?

Also, if anyone took Interfaith P/C - do you have to agree to raise the children Catholic?

Re: Interfaith brides and PreCana

Why don't you get a deacon??? We are having a catholic deacon marry us because I am Lutheran. We are getting married in a Catholic Church, but since I am not, a Deacon will be the one marrying us... They have the same credentials as a Priest, they just have different Rites (as explained by the Deacon)... The only difference is they cannot give communion. If you are NOT have a full mass, I think this might work for you :o) Good luck!

Edited to add:
As for raising our children catholic, we did have to sign something that said we will, BUT the deacon kinda saw I was a little freaky and he assured me that if we don't, nothing bad will happen. heehee!

Re: Interfaith brides and PreCana

See:

http://www.liweddings.com/chat/topic.asp?ID=42493

Re: Interfaith brides and PreCana

Dubliner I replied to your forum mail....

Re: Interfaith brides and PreCana

I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic. We had our ceremony at Crest Hollow Country Club, and had a priest and a rabbi. You can definitely have a priest if you want, and you DON'T have to promise to raise the children Catholic - I didn't.

In fact, because of our families, we actually had THREE separate ceremonies that day, each of which was beautiful and meaningful. We had our pictures together beforehand, so we had time during the cocktail hour.

Okay, for all of our guests, we first had a ceremony which was presided over by a judge (we're both lawyers so it was kind of fitting). We incorporated into this ceremony the breaking of the glass, and the lighting of the unity candle to bring 'some' religion into them.

Then, during the cocktail hour, we had two additional ceremonies. We had a private Catholic ceremony with us, the priest, and his parents only, and then, we had a private Jewish ceremony with us, the rabbi, and my parents (and brother). Each ceremony was videotaped and photographed, and it was so beautiful... we got to exchange vows three different times that day, and in three different ways. Each time was beautiful!!!

Good luck to you!

Re: Interfaith brides and PreCana

lauren

Can you please send me details of how you got a Priest without promising to raise the children Catholic

Thanks a lot - I am really getting upset about this

I'll try to be informative and brief!!

Are you trying to obtain dispensation to have your marriage recognized by the RC church as a sacrament? That's the ONLY (excepting emergencies like hospitalization!) way you'll get an RC Priest (still w/ the church) to co-officiate outside of the church. I assume you are since you're planning on pre-cana.

You, as the Catholic, are required to 'promise to do everything in your power to raise your children in your faith'. Your FH must be told of this promise. The fact of the matter is, the RC Church can't *force* you to raise your children Catholic, they're happy that you plan to remain true to your faith (by going through dispensation). It's truly a personal decision that is made between you and your FH.

If you just want a Catholic Priest, there are lots that have left the church and perform weddings. Many of them are called 'New Catholics'.

I'm RC, DH is Jewish. We went through dispensation (including the 'promise', pre-cana and
we had both a Rabbi and an RC Priest from St. William the Abbot in Seaford). We got married at our hall. It was beautiful!!

P.S. Just an FYI: RC's are not allowed to have an outdoor ceremony.

Good luck! I hope this helped.

Re: I'll try to be informative and brief!!

All seems to be weel
We met the rabbi tonight, and he gave us the name of a priest

The rabbi was really nice, - a retired gentleman, who has performed many interfaith ceremonies, and he's got a nice sense of humor!!!

Re: I'll try to be informative and brief!!

Kathi

Thank you for the information - I really don't know why we are doing pre cana - ialways heard it was beneficial, and right now, with so much going on, it will be nice to take a weekend off the planning and focus on our relationship. Especially when it is aimed at interfaith couples.

Regards dispensation, I'm not sure if its v. important to me to have the marriage recognised. As I said I am not very religious, but it would seem extreemely strange not to have a priest at tghe ceremony