Interfaith Wedding - need help!

Are there any other interfaith couples out there? I'm Catholic, my FH is Jewish. I really want to have a church wedding and my FH basically agrees, but his family is threating not to come. We don't know what will be possibly but we're thinking of 2 things

1) Interfaith wedding at church (we don't know yet if this is possible)

2) catholic ceremony in church, jewish ceremony at reception hall.


What did you guys do? What are you doing? Any tips?

Huh. well, I don't know if you're gonna find a rabbi or cantor to co-officiate at a church. You might, but it'll be hard. And do Catholic priests marry non-Catholics in church?

Try www.interfaithfamily.com - it has a lot of resources.

This is hard. I know what you're going though.

Interfaith center @ C.W. post .......

link

this is where we are getting married..but not performing an interfaith service...

Fi is very catholic and my family is Muslim. That does not work, especially for my family. According to them we should not even get married. We tried to find a Muslim cleric to help officiate but that didn't fly. But I heard some rabbis will do this.

This is our compromise:

Ceremony ONLY at church - my family talked through my brother's wedding with a mass. We will have none of that.

PS - FI's family would not recognize the marriage unless it was in a church

We are also incorporating some special traditions from all cultures to acknowledge and respect everyone. I feel like they are all children sometimes. And the officiant will make specific reference to mixing of cultures and respectful words for all.

:)
I hope this helps.

Well, I think there are a few issues here. You say that your FI 'basically' agrees. Does he want a church wedding or not? Because that's the important thing - it's not only your wedding, it's his too. If he also wants a church wedding, then have one.

And you also have to think that your FI doesn't live in a vaccum. His family probably is a very important part of his life. If they are severly upset at your wedding, and there's a compromise you can do to aliviate that, then you might want to consider it, if not for your FI's family, then for your FI's stress level.

The Jewish religion is very against intermarriage - more than Christianity, I would say. It's ingrained in the religion. The reform movement is trying to change some of that, but you're not gonna get his family to think that a church wedding is a good thing.

That's why it'll be hard to find an officiant, espically for a church.

I'm not overly fond of the idea of two weddings. Could you do a nondemoninational chapel or something?

We are having a lot of the same issues...the story is too long to get into right now (and I am still not 100% sure where we are with this) but right now we are contemplating a ceremony at our reception location with a JOP, because even dealing with a reform rabbi and an American Catholic priest was getting to be too polarizing. Navigating this is no walk in the park, and neither of our families are even all that religious.

Good luck to you.

I had an interfaith wedding and had some of the same issues you mentioned. We were considering to have the wedding in a church, however we realized it was going to cause too many relatives on his side to be upset... By the way, you can have your wedding at a church, but some will not let you set up the chuppa.
We also considered doing 2 ceremonies, but then I decided it was too much for me to handle.
We wound up doing a combination ceremony at the wedding hall.
If this is what you decide to do, you can create a beautiful ceremony encorporating both traditions and making a program to explain the symbolism of each tradition so the guests understand why each part of the ceremony is performed.
Either way good luck with what you decide to do.

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Posted by nferrandi

I'm Jewish and FH is Catholic. We're getting married by both a priest and a rabbi at our reception site. .

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We're the reverse but we are doing this too. we are having an interfaith couple and we are really getting to be involved with how the ceremony will go and they are cool so as not to offend either side of the family.

TYour situation is like mine...FH wants to get married in the church tho...He is Jewish..I am Catholic, we are not all that religious, and neither are our families. It has alwayus been a dream for me to get married in a church, had all my sacraments there so far...

The priest when he finally got back to me, would not give me ANY Info...if an interfaith wedding is even POSSIBLE.....until we meet with him...

And Fhs father is being very stubborn, wont coem in if its in a church....just to spite himself...and FH says, HIS LOSS....

We are not sure what we are going to do andI guess know this weekend....if its going to be at our hall or the church...its so frustrating! I am so aggravated by this!!

Well, his parents ahve not said anything to us, but have to his sister....and she told me...

ITs just petty....they should be happy their son is getting married and to honor hsi father, we agreed to an intervfaith, including a RABBI....So...I kinda feel that if we cannot ahve it in a church, then nI just want na interfaith minister....no sense spending so much on a rabbi and a priest and the location...

I lvoe my Future IN laws to death, but its been my dream forever to walk down the church aisle..I was very active until I moved out of state..and FH could care less as long as we are married....hes got no opinion..just one thing is that he wants the rabbi for his FATHER..not for us...his dad....becuase HE wants it and HE will be paying for it...

Anywyas, I guess we will see what we find out this weekend....


Wish me luck!!

I felt like I was reading my story when I read your post.

I am Catholic went to catholic school all the way thru HS. FH is Greek/ Jewish he was baptized in the Greek church but was Bar Mitzvah'd too.

I wanted to get married in MY church since I had all my sacrements their and grew up and ever worked there. He said he was fine with that and that he was a 'JEW FOR THE DAY' meaning he never celebrated any holidays or anything after his Bar Mitzvah.

Once his mother found out she said she wasnt comming same thing with his grandmother. Her excuse being that she didnt want Christ all over the place. Yet she still didnt go and look at the church. Her den is decorated more than this church is. His father is behind us 100%. She even tried to convince me to have it at CW post chapel to which I told her no way. If FH dosnt have a problem with getting married in a church you shouldnt either. The past 4months have been all about talk on how no one goes to the Church any way b/c there is a gap between the church and the hall so it is a waste. I explained to her that anyone who loves us will be at the church and the wedding will take place with one person in the church or the 150 invited to the wedding and weither or not she is there.

I honestly can't see her not going to her only sons wedding and she is doing all this to be the center of attention. Her exact words to me where 'I may no go to temple every Sat b/c I have better things to do than spend my whole day sitting in a temple on my day off but I cook for all the Holidays.' I told her the true meaning of the holiday is not who cooks and dosnt cook, my family cooks every day of the week but we also go to church and celebrate the meaning behind the holiday. I also explained to her that our children would be raised catholic b/c her son dosnt know the first thing about the Greek or jewish religion to teach our children so I will do it the way I know. His father told me at that point that I am 100% right and that it was their fault that they never instilled religion in their children.

We are getting married in the church and I really don't care anymore if they are there or not. There hasnt been any talk of the whole church thing in a few months but she also asked the other day if I got his grandmother a corsage and his sister was like what for she isn't comming.

Did I mention they said they would go to the reception though.. What she dosnt know is if she dosnt come to the church I am not sending the Limo to go get her afterwards and she is not getting announced into the reception... You make my life misrable I will make your too.. FH and I cried about this non stop for 3 weeks believe me I have an Ulcer from it.

I know that his sister and father will be there and my whole family and our friends will be there and that is all that matters to me.

I am so sorry that this is so long

We encountered the same conflict. I am catholic, FH is Jewish. We will be raising our children Catholic and his family only asked of us one thing-to not be married in a church. We didn't care either way, but out of respect for our families, we did not want to create any hard feelings. My mom was upset at first and then understood our wishes after some talking to.

But if you still want to go with the church, there are non conservative rabbi's who will marry within the church. Speak to your priest or deacon, they have names, mine did :)

Best wishes and good luck!