introductions and the reception

michele31 Posted: Jul 02, 2002 04:57 PM

introductions and the reception

I need some help- I have a very large bridal party (8 girls, 7 guys plus the kids), my parents are divorced both remarried (I HATE my mother's husband , love my stepmom), FH's parents are divorced only a few years and are only on 'okay' terms. I do not want to do introduction into the reception- just 'And now for their first dance please welcome our hosts Michele and Scott'...
Although my mom's husband is invited, he is not being treated as a parent in any way- no tux, no bot, nothing. He WILL NOT be introduced with her so she asked me NOT to do introductions. My FH's parents will never walk in together, and why should they- they are divorced. But they have the same last name still and I think it will be incrediable weird to intro them seperate. To make a long story short my stepmother will flip when I tell her NO introductions. She has already told my sister what words she wants used for her intro.
Am I being unfair not doing the intros? I need some back up here.

lilmrs Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:00 PM

x

mickeya1a Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:04 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

AT my sisters wedding, which was probably the best wedding i've ever been to ( at Flowerfields) she only announced the bridal party...no parents... his father is passed on , but my parents are together...it really isn't necessary if it is going to be a problem in anyway

Fran M Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:06 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

It dosent sound sound strange at all. I have been to weddings were only the B&G are announced. Do what you are comfortable with.

metphan Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:07 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

i really believe that people who are not planning weddings don't pay attention to what is going on at the wedding. Do whatever you think is best. Don't have introductions if you think they'll be awkward.

NovemberSue Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:09 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

I'm probably going to announce my mom and her husband (my stepdad is great).I'll also have my dad and his wife announced.Thats what my brother did. A lot of couples these days are remarried. You do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

jennbaby Posted: Jul 02, 2002 05:47 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

do whatever makes you feel right. It's your day. I think no intros are fine!

yabbobay Posted: Jul 02, 2002 10:53 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

I think the NO intros sound the best, and I think your stepmom will understand this...

BUT...if you want an alternative...

have all 4 people 'escorted' in by different people (your stapmom being one - and it could be a child or a child-in-law, etc)

re: tuxes...my FBIL is escorting my mom down the aisle without a tux...no problem...

barbara Posted: Jul 03, 2002 10:28 AM

Re: introductions and the reception

Hi,

I am in the same situation. I do not like my FH's stepfather (am not crazy about his mother either) but I love his dad and stepmother. However, my parents (who are paying for much of my wedding) do not want to be introduced, so I am just having the BP for introductions. I know that my my FMIL will flip when she hears this but that doesn't concern me. It is your wedding, not hers.

Stef28 Posted: Jul 03, 2002 10:34 AM

Re: introductions and the reception

I had the same worries. My parents are divorced and my DH parents are divorced with several remarriages and some ex-step family that is still around. UGH! We just had my mom introduced with her boyfriend. 'Mother of the bride _____escorted by _______', my father and step-mom were next, my MIL walked with my SIL, and my FIL walked with his fiance and her daughter.

You could also just lump people into Family of the bride and family of the groom and just announce names without titles. I almost did that.

I also don't see anything wrong with just introducing the bridal party and yourselves or just you and your groom. You'll never please everyone.

NIHA Posted: Jul 03, 2002 11:02 AM

Re: introductions and the reception

You can't please everyone, so just focus on pleasing yourself and your husband. We had a small wedding, and we wanted all the attention on US We did not have bridal party, and we kept it less complicated by only having us introduced. My mom passed, my father is remarried, and my stepmother is not really like a mother to me, so I didn't want them introduced this way. In our opinion, it was our wedding, and people were there for us, so why introduce anyone else? We danced with our parents and my father walked me down the aisle, so that's where they were included. Anyway, being the only ones introduced was great because all eyes were on us when we walked in and during our first dance. We felt like stars!! he he!

michele31 Posted: Jul 05, 2002 07:16 PM

Re: introductions and the reception (new stuff added)

So she pretends she is fine with it and then my father goes off on my sister about it. My stepmom feels that she deserves to be introduced and all her friends were introduced at their kid's weddings. Oh, and she feels that once again my mom is taking something special away from her. But she didn't tell me, my sister did.

yabbobay Posted: Jul 05, 2002 07:31 PM

Re: introductions and the reception (new stuff added)

Michele...i think the only way to solve this is to introduce everyone...You have a lot of people who love you! and your stepmoms feelings are worth more than your dislike for your stepdad

good luck

michele31 Posted: Jul 05, 2002 07:48 PM

Re: introductions and the reception (new stuff added)

But this isn't about my Mom, it is about FILs too. None of them want to be introduced. I feel like putting a freakin spotlight onto her and saying 'Here is Michele's stepmom everyone. Does everyone in the room see her'. I mean, she is going to be in the program, do a reading, sit at a parent's table. How much attention does someone who is NOT the bride need?

Cindy Posted: Jul 05, 2002 08:01 PM

Re: introductions and the reception (new stuff added)

Michele,
I think you should leave it the way you planned. You seemed very content with the way you were going to do this. Maybe if you change it now you are changing it for the wrong reason. I was just speaking about this today believe it or not because I have to have the list of people to the hall who are being introduced. I am sure you will make the right decision. I am always here to listen.

aug9bride Posted: Jul 05, 2002 08:09 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

I would not worry too much about not doing intors. They are not required. I would tell your step mom that b/c of the circumstances with your parents and FH parents it is too much. Why don't you have just have yourself and new hubby introduced.
'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the new Mr. and Mrs. John Doe' and leave it at that.

Sonicstef Posted: Jul 05, 2002 08:17 PM

Re: introductions and the reception

Michele - you already know what I think so this probably doesn't help but....

THIS IS YOUR WEDDING! All of her friends will know she is there and she is getting plenty of recognition - no need to make everyone awkward to make her happy.