invitation drama - fmil

my soon to hubby and his mom dont really get along.. they got into a bad fight this weekend and it ended in him telling her to forget she had a son.. trust me ladies she deserved to be told that... anyhow me and her got into it a few weeks ago about the same topic .. and it ended in her telling me she wasnt coming to the wedding.. now if i know her the way that i do she will end up coming anyway..

here is my question: his family isnt paying for anything.. my parents are.. now since they are playing this game that they say they are coming one day and the next day they say they are not coming and they arent making any contribution to the wedding, and he and his mom dont really get along, but he does get along better with his dad i feel like there names should not be on the invitation.. am i being wrong.. need some imput.. thanks girls..

PS. finance doesnt care either way .. if his parents are mention on the invitation or not

just to not have yet ANOTHER thing to fight over....you can put them on there. it doesn't mean thye are paying....you can have traditional wording like

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith invite you....yada
their daughter:

Jane Marie
to
Mr. John Anthony Doe,
son of Mr. & Mrs. Pain-in-the-@ss

that way it shows that your parents are hosting.

you said you think their names should be on the invitation???

etiquite wise it is usually the parents that host (pay for) the wedding that goes on the invite

we did together with their parents on ours...

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Posted by MJDoc12

just to not have yet ANOTHER thing to fight over....you can put them on there. it doesn't mean thye are paying....you can have traditional wording like

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith invite you....yada
their daughter:

Jane Marie
to
Mr. John Anthony Doe,
son of Mr. & Mrs. Pain-in-the-@ss

that way it shows that your parents are hosting.

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This is the appropriate way if they aren't paying but, if you have doubts you can leave them off. I think I'd leave them on now, who knows what the future will bring and maybe they will have a great relationship later on.

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Posted by ali120206

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Posted by MJDoc12

just to not have yet ANOTHER thing to fight over....you can put them on there. it doesn't mean thye are paying....you can have traditional wording like

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith invite you....yada
their daughter:

Jane Marie
to
Mr. John Anthony Doe,
son of Mr. & Mrs. Pain-in-the-@ss

that way it shows that your parents are hosting.

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This is the appropriate way if they aren't paying but, if you have doubts you can leave them off. I think I'd leave them on now, who knows what the future will bring and maybe they will have a great relationship later on.

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I agree... plus this will show you're the more mature couple in this whole thing. I'm sorry you're having such aggravation. If you do it the way MJDoc12 wrote it, you'll be fine. Good luck with everything!

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Posted by PrincessRose

Ask your FH if he wants his parents' name on the invitation. If he wants their names there, then put them there. If not, then don't.

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I agree. I would have no qualms about leaving them off if I were you, as long as FH agreed, but if it's something he wants it's worth it to put them on - they might be touched by the gesture.
Sorry your FILs are being a royal PITA

I wouldn't. My FH is like yours. He loves his dad but can't stand his mom. We aren't putting any of our parents names on the invite. And I stand by that 100%
Its your day and your parents are paying. I don't why you should do them any favors.

My parents are paying for most of the wedding and FH's aren't contributing at all. We are only putting my parents names on the invites. I think mine, and only my parents, deserve the credit

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Posted by ilrlaw

i kinda feel the same way as rachel1013

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I felt the same way, but it wasn't my decision to make. It really is your FH's decision. If he wants his parents' names on there, then do it the way MJDoc12 suggested (that's what we did, too). If he doesn't, then put your parents names on and leave it at that.

bump

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Posted by VadersBride2006

My suggestion: Don't put either set of parent's names on the invite, just yours and your FH's. It will avoid another confrontation and I am sure everyone will already know who is hosting the affair!

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Thats what I did and its the best way so noone gets offended!

I wouldn't, but I'm just mean.....lol
XOXOXO
Kitty

Just remember, your wedding is in another year or so.

Things can change between now and then. You can always mention them and see how it goes closer to the wedding.

In the end I think it's up to you... all of the above suggestions are good ones... if you want them on their for the sake of diplomacy, do what MJDoc said... if you're not bothered about diplomacy but feel it only right to put your parents names on then just put them on (that's what 'etiquette' says to do anyway, just put the names of the hosts on the invitation).

otherwise just leave all parent names off and call it a day! But you're definitely not obligated to put them on, and if they've been acting like jerks then I'd probably just leave them off!