invitation etiquette

cg511 Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:37 PM

invitation etiquette

To all you Emily Posts out there:
Can anyone please tell me what the appropriate way to send an invitation in the following case:
An unmarried couple, living at separate residences. I want to send it to the 'closer' of the two, but I want both names on the outer and inner envelopes.
Should it look like this:

Mr. John Smith
Ms. Ann Jones
22 Elm Street
etc.

or

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Ann Jones

Also, do you spell out John or just use the initial J?

Thanks.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:40 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

either or...

I was so ****ed when I was invited to a wedding of my first cousin and they put and guest and we live together almost 3 yrs..
Ass****!

jtodaro Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:42 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

i did it the second way

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Ann Jones
111 main street
anywhere, ny 11111

junebride04 Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:43 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

I had the same issue for a few of our friends that dating seriously but are not living together. I addressed them to the person I knew like this:

Mr. John Doe
Miss Jane Smith
(John Doe's address)

Hope this helps!

LisaT Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:43 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

I think the woman is supposed to go first, or it should go alphabetically.

edited to say - thats if they're living together. In your case (now that I read more closely) I would have the first name be that of who's address its going to.

stacedz Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:45 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

Whoever's house the invite is going to should be first...

cg511 Posted: Dec 18, 2002 02:46 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

I have read that you are supposed to put the girl's name first, but what if the invitation is being sent to the man's address? Shouldn't his name, then, be listed first?

Also, do you write 'and guest' on the outer envelopes, or only on the inner envelopes. This is all so confusing!

nrvbrd Posted: Dec 18, 2002 03:00 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

IMO, Both names should ONLY go on the inner envelope.

The name of the person who actually LIVES at the address you are mailing it to should only be on the outer envelope.

Niecey Posted: Dec 18, 2002 03:41 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

I think nrvbird has the proper etiquette. I put only the person who I was mailing it to on the outer and both names on the inner. (not that I followed 100% of the invitation etiquette rules!)

I think if you really want to put both names on the outer the person who lives at the residence should go first.

OctBride03 Posted: Dec 18, 2002 03:43 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

I think I would do the first way. JMO.

and the way bridetobe said. Whoever's house it is, goes first.

zac1228 Posted: Dec 18, 2002 04:37 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

OK, 'proper etiquette' would say that if you are inviting both people, and they don't live together, you need to send an invitation to each one individually. Not to only one person's house.

I was actually going to post the question, 'Is that really necessary?' I have two BMs who are in serious relationships (1 is engaged) but don't live with their significant other. So, can I scrap 'proper etiquette' and just send the invite to my BMs and put their significant other's names on them? I was planning on sending them separate but now I am not so sure.

If you send them together, the person whose house you are sending it to should be first – just makes more sense, IMO.

metphan Posted: Dec 18, 2002 05:11 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

A good amount of my friends are in this situation. I sent the invitation to my 'original friend' with his or her name first. I did put both names on the envelope, though.

Mr. John Smith
Ms. Jane Doe
100 X Street

Thrilled Posted: Dec 18, 2002 05:18 PM

Re: invitation etiquette

Theresa - FSIL had a friend of the family who got married last year - I had met and partied with her several times - and she invited FH with no guest!!!!!!!!!! This was after he and I had been dating for 4 years. I was stunned, hurt, and then ****ed. Now, of course, we have to invite her and her DH TOGETHER to our wedding. And yes, FH went with the wedding without me. I stayed mad for months. His whole family was invited...but not me.