invitation etiquette????

hey ladies.....

so me and FH are having problems with our guest list.. we have about 380 (after cutting some out) on our list... but we still need to cut A LOT out... so what we thought we could do was not add 'a guest' for people that were single (which lowers the amount of people)... my dad said we can not do this b/c its not proper etiquette... is it bad not to add a guest????

i would try to seperate your list into an 'A' and 'B' list instead. cut out work and not so close friends before cutting out guests for single people. Some people may not want to come without a guest OR some may bring one anyway!!!

HTH

we did thhat already... thats why we came up with the 'guest' idea.. i dont know what to do

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Posted by JJC

of course you can do that...will you do only unmarried or invite those with a guest who are engaged or in a long time relationship...(dating at least a year). I know plenty of people who have done that and it is completely acceptable.

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yea if anyone has a bf/gf, are engaged or married we will put with guest... but if they are completely single.. we were thinking of not even inviting them with a guest...

I think its rediculous to invite people who are not serious, engaged, or married with a guest. People should grow up and realize that weddings cost soooo much money and you cant pay for so-and-so's sister to come to YOUR wedding.

Do what you need to do to cut the list.

Yes, it's OK to invite single people without a guest.

That said, I'd do the cut off at anyone who isn't in a monogamous relationship and not use a cut off of X amount of time they've been dating.

I don't think it's the bride and groom's place to determine how serious someone else's relationship is based on time alone.

But not including random 'and guest' invitations? Aboslutely OK.

Best of luck in your endeavor.

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Posted by stefandken

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Posted by JJC

of course you can do that...will you do only unmarried or invite those with a guest who are engaged or in a long time relationship...(dating at least a year). I know plenty of people who have done that and it is completely acceptable.

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yea if anyone has a bf/gf, are engaged or married we will put with guest... but if they are completely single.. we were thinking of not even inviting them with a guest...

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That's what we're doing. If someone is totally single, I feel no need to pay for a random date to be at my wedding. Plus, weddings are a great place for singles to meet each other...so why not help them out by inviting them solo?!?!

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Posted by stefandken

hey ladies.....

so me and FH are having problems with our guest list.. we have about 380 (after cutting some out) on our list... but we still need to cut A LOT out... so what we thought we could do was not add 'a guest' for people that were single (which lowers the amount of people)... my dad said we can not do this b/c its not proper etiquette... is it bad not to add a guest????

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You don't have to invite every single person with a guest. You do if they are in a serious relationship, are living with the sig. other, or are engaged. Otherwise you do not have to invite them with a guest!
What DH and I did for our single friends was ask them beforehand if they planned to bring a guest and if so what the guests name was so we could put it on the invite. We had a couple people say they didn't want to babysit smoeone who wouldn't know anybody and would rather come alone. So it worked out fine and gave us an idea of who actually planned to bring a guest.

i think its okay to do that only if they will know others at the wedding and can socialize that way.... but like your dad, my mom also doesnt see it this way which has made our # go up too

I am running into a problem with the guest list also. I have no one else I feel I can cut, however I feel strongly about inviting people of a certain age with a guest. I was invited to 3 weddings without a guest and I have to say I was a little insulted given my age and situtation at the time, especially for 2 of them. I had been seeing someone for at least 6 montths or maybe even more but, apparently I didn't make the cut-off. For one wedding they had said if you were not in a relationship for 1 year or more, you would not be invited with a guest. I was also in the bridal party for this particular wedding.
I understand that they don't want random people at their wedding, but if you're seeing someone I think that should be considered.
My FH and I decided to move in together after ~8 months. We knew it was serious after only a few months.

JMO

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Posted by Renee77

I am running into a problem with the guest list also. I have no one else I feel I can cut, however I feel strongly about inviting people of a certain age with a guest. I was invited to 3 weddings without a guest and I have to say I was a little insulted given my age and situtation at the time, especially for 2 of them. I had been seeing someone for at least 6 montths or maybe even more but, apparently I didn't make the cut-off. For one wedding they had said if you were not in a relationship for 1 year or more, you would not be invited with a guest. I was also in the bridal party for this particular wedding.
I understand that they don't want random people at their wedding, but if you're seeing someone I think that should be considered.
My FH and I decided to move in together after ~8 months. We knew it was serious after only a few months.

JMO

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I think a member of the bridal party should always be at least asked if they want to bring a date.

if someone is considered 'single'...i would not send them an invitation with 'and guest'

we defined single as someone who was not in a serious relationship, living together, or engaged. and in our case, we thought if people didnt have a name for their guest...they really shouldnt be invited with one. we made sure to have the first and last name of the 'guest' prior to sending out the invitation.

i would say the exception being if they know NO ONE else at the wedding.

u can always extend the 'and guest' invitation to them at a later time if you have lots of no's and decide u want to be nice : )

I'm sorry ladies...but I completely disagree with this. How do you pick and choose whose relationships are serious enough to warrant bringing a date? Some people know after a month, others 2 years.

If I was the only single girl amongst my friends and not invited with a date, I would be a little annoyed. Who wants to be the only one sitting at a table when all couples are dancing around?

Do you put all the singles at one table together? Or do you mix singles with friends? I would leave it up to the guests whether or not they want to bring a guest, if they're comfortable flying solo then awesome, but it'll be their choice.

Sorry if this is harsh.