Invitation/ Etiquette Questions

FH is a professor. All his colleagues have PhDs (as does he). He feels that when we address the envelopes that we don't need to use 'Dr. and Mrs.' or 'Mr. and Dr.' for their invitations. He seldom uses the 'Dr.' himself, and never introduces himself as Dr. But I know that some people would be insulted. Should I just give my mom the list (she's doing the calligraphy)? I am not sure what to do and we're already behind with mailing them out.

Also, FH wanted to hand-deliver the invitations to his co-workers. I told him that they need to be mailed, but again, we're getting a little pressed for time and who knows how long it will take him to get the addys from the ten or so people he wants to invite. Is hand-delivering tacky?

I think hand delivering is a little tacky, JMO
I would put Dr & Mrs. just to be safe so it doesn't insult anyone if they do prefer the title. On the road of etiquette, dr should be used if they are PH'ds.

We hand-delivered to FH's co-workers, but we knew they weren't coming so it was more of a courtesty thing.

As for addressing, FH and I both have PhDs, and while we don't insist on being addressed as Dr., it annoys us a little when our friends (or anyone else that knows we went to grad school for 6 years) doesn't bother to acknowledge it. But that's just us.

My father doesn't go by Dr. and didn't want it on the invitation. My mother refuses to be called Dr. and Mrs. Joe Blow. FH's parents are more 'formal' in that they go by titles, so we had a bit of a dilemma. We decided to do first name last name for both sets of parents, but I think FMIL found it a little bizarre. We addressed envelopes Dr. and Mrs. Lastname (skipped the male first) for married couples and spelled out first and last for those not married or have hyphenated names.

Place cards will be first name last name, no titles. The envelopes were the only item with titles...

ETA: i would stick them in the mail...

I would address the envelopes as Dr. & ____

Try and get the addresses so that you can mail the invitations, but if you can't get them in a reasonable time, then hand deliver them.

I read somewhere that ONLY medical Drs. get Dr. on an envelope.

For business correspondance, you put Joe Schmo, PhD, but for personal its not neccessary.

Hand delivering depends. FMIL requested hand delivery for hers.
For coworkres just be careful that its not too obvious if you aren't inviting EVERYBODY.