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Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Original post by siobhanB

Hi... I'm starting the invitation hunt, and haven't found anything that really fits our situation..

We want the traditional

Brides parents
request the honour of your presence at the mariage of
their daughter
to
the groom
son of
mom and deceased dad
blah blah..

the problem is how to work his mother and fathers name..

The only way I can think of is to say ' son of Jane and the Late Joe Smith'

FH doesn't really like how that sounds, we both want his name in there, but I think to put 'son of Jane and Joe Smith' implies he should be at the wedding; and while his family all know that his father is deceased (obviously) my whole family doesnt necessarily know, and since my family is the type to introduce themselves to his mother, I don't want them to ask where his father is, making his mom think more about how her husband isnt there... know what I mean?

Any comments & suggestions would be helpful...
akaMrsT Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by MJDoc12

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).

i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.


Totally agree which is why I wrote what we did and only noted later what 'etiquette dictates' after someone posted that you CAN'T word your invites in a certain way and that's it's not 'proper etiquette'. I found that post funny since in fact it is 'proper etiquette' to word the invite exactly as the original poster wrote.

There is no law that we have to follow such rules unless of course Emily Post is paying for the wedding.
plainview Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included



There is no law that we have to follow such rules unless of course Emily Post is paying for the wedding.



pebbles Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by kathrynlinton

We had this issue too...now not to be horrible, but a deceased person cannot invite someone anywhere, so you can't put it at the top of the invite. My DH's father is deceased and this is what we did:

Mary and Floyd L
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kathryn Mary
to
Christopher Michael
son of Judith D
and the late Christopher D, Sr.
blah blah

Now, my in laws were really happy that we included DH's father on the invite.

You can see it in this picture

that's exactly what we did for DH late mom, I really did not care about etiquette we wanted her name on the invite as DH was so close to her. I figured it was our day we would do it our way and so many people commented on how incredibly touching it was to see her name on the invite.
SeptBride70 Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by plainview



There is no law that we have to follow such rules unless of course Emily Post is paying for the wedding.





i wish emily post would pay for my wedding!!! then i would do whatever she wanted-- nahh, i would still do what i want lol
Shiv Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

both our father's have passed, but our situation is different- we're paying for most of the wedding ourselves. so we wrote our names and then together with their families...

Chrissywish Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by plainview


My invite read. Mrs. My mom
with loving memory of Mr. My Dad
and Mr. & Mrs. His Dad and mom
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children.


Do what makes you feel right. =)

People are always going to have something to say no matter what you do


I love this wording!!!!!!
soon2bmrsp123107 Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

my friends mom and her husbands dad both passed away
they worded their invite like this

Mr. Brides dad's name
and
Mrs. Grooms mom name
invite you to the marriage of their children

Mary and bob

then it had all the wedding info

and the last line of the invite was

with heavenly blessings from Brides mom name and Grooms dads name
plainview Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by Chrissywish

Posted by plainview


My invite read. Mrs. My mom
with loving memory of Mr. My Dad
and Mr. & Mrs. His Dad and mom
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children.


Do what makes you feel right. =)

People are always going to have something to say no matter what you do


I love this wording!!!!!!


Thanks!
plainview Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by soon2bmrsp123107

my friends mom and her husbands dad both passed away
they worded their invite like this

Mr. Brides dad's name
and
Mrs. Grooms mom name
invite you to the marriage of their children

Mary and bob

then it had all the wedding info

and the last line of the invite was

with heavenly blessings from Brides mom name and Grooms dads name


This is really nice too.
donegal419 Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Posted by akaMrsT

Posted by MJDoc12

not flaming anyone--but it really bothers me when people say 'etiquette' says you CAN'T do something. let's keep it real ladies, if we did EVERYTHING by the laws of etiquette, then i'm sure 99% of all the women on here couldn't get married in a white dress.

i think it's a very nice touch to mention your FH's deceased parent on the invite. if they were still alive, they would be doing the inviting, and just because they are gone, doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. etiquette goes out the window when it comes to someone's feeling about their deceased parent(s).

i do think it should read Mrs. Joan Smith & the late John Smith.


Totally agree which is why I wrote what we did and only noted later what 'etiquette dictates' after someone posted that you CAN'T word your invites in a certain way and that's it's not 'proper etiquette'. I found that post funny since in fact it is 'proper etiquette' to word the invite exactly as the original poster wrote.

There is no law that we have to follow such rules unless of course Emily Post is paying for the wedding.


I didnt' mean to offend anyone... sorry. I am just saying, a deceased parent, as sad as it is, is not alive to extend an invitation to the wedding, so you really cannot have

Mr. and the late Mrs. Smith request the honor of your presence.....

That is what I meant by proper etiquette there... it sounds harsh, but the person is no longer alive to extend an invite.

However, I think if you do something like
the daughter/son of _________ and the late ________ after whomever is extending the invite that would be okay.

Sorry to offend people... I am in the same situation as well...my FH's mother has passed and we have decided to leave her name off of the invitation... it sounded a bit sad in our opinion... but are including her in other ways (on program, on memorial candle, etc.)

GOOD luck to everyone!
Karen62794 Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

We had the same thing (DH's dad is deceased) and we used:

Son of Mrs. Mary Smith and the late Bob Smith.
siobhanB Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Thanks everyone for all the opinions/input.

I'm gonna make sure FH and his mother are both comfortable with wording it 'son of mrs and the late mr' & I'll probably go with that.

I do really like the above posters idea of 'mrs. smith in loving memory of mr. smith invite you'; but I'm not sure how i'd word that, since its going to be my parents inviting guests... it would have to be something like 'Fh son of Mrs. mom, and in memory of mr. dad' Does that sound right?

Such complications!
plainview Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

Yeah, that is a bit harder.
Will think on that.
MrsB2B Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

My FH's dad died in 2000 and it's still hard for him, he wanted him on the invite,
I have a slew of invite books and went threw them till I came up with below:

This is what we did


Danielle Elizabeth
daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Craig A. O
and
William Allen
son of
Ms. Loretta B.
and the late Allen B.

Regardless if anybody thinks its proper, we felt the need to do it

Do as you feel right, not what is propper

Dani

MrsB2B Posted:

Re: Invitation wording/deceased parent...poll included

forgot to mention, the next line of the invite is

hope that you will join us toshare in the celebration of their marriage

we did not use request the honour but still i like the way it looked

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