So....FH and I are trying to cut down the list. It is has gotten longer than we ever expected!! My question is....what is the proper etiquette for inviting a guest? We have some close friends who do not have significant others and while we initially have them on the list with a guest we are reconsidering. Is inviting them with a guest a must or just a nice thing to do??? Of course, if they have been dating someone for a while we will def invite both. I am so confused and have to send out the invites next week!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!
MsDiva
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
I can totally understand the financial aspect of your situation. However, most people don't like to attend any event, let alone a wedding, by themselves so I think that it is a nice courtesy for you to allot for a single person to bring a guest.
This is what we did.
Kara and Todd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
You have to do what you have to do, but I personally think it's rude to invite an adult to a wedding without a guest.
I also think it's rude to just grab anyone as a 'date' and bring them to a wedding if it's a function where you will know other people.
If money's tight, do what you need to do, though. I'd just recommend being consistent so that it doesn't look like you're hand-selecting who gets to bring a date and who doesn't.
Also remember that it's extremely unlikely that everyone on your list will come and will bring a date. We invited 200 people and less than our minimum (140) is coming!
MissAngel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
I know that a lot of people feel differently, but I agree with MsDiva 100%...We left some of the more peripheral people in our lives out (unnecessary coworkers, 3rd cousins, friends we haven't really seen in a few years, etc) so that we could invite everyone that we're closest with now with a guest. To each his own, though...everyone's situation & relationships are different , so you guys really need to think about what is best for you. Good luck with this!
reenielady
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
If they are going to know plenty of other people at the wedding and they are not in a serious relationship it is ok to invite them without a guest.
MissAngel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Posted by Kara and Todd
I'd just recommend being consistent so that it doesn't look like you're hand-selecting who gets to bring a date and who doesn't.
Oh and I also agree with Kara 100% on this
MJDoc12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
i think this is a personal choice and everyone is different. if you really have to cut corners, then you have to do what you want. i've heard of some girls on here saying that they only invite their non-married friends if they are in a committed relationsip or engaged.
to me personally, i just don't like the idea of inviting someone solo to a wedding. simply because i know how much it has to suuck being the 'single' person among couples....so i would hate to be that person so i didn't like the idea of causing someone else to be that person. so we invited all our single friends with a guest. most didn't bring one, but they appreciated that we didn't limit them.
sometimes i feel like when someone is specifically invited w/o a guest--its like they are being told they aren't special enough like married or involved couples to have someone else there to enjoy the wedding with. almost like a 2nd class friend or something. but again, that's JMO
leenie75
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Thanks for all your help ladies!!! I knew this was the only place to get real help! I am going to keep the list the way it is, inviting friends with guests & just hope they make the right decision. I just don't want people to feel like they have to bring someone just because we are inviting them with a guest. Alot of FH's friends are not with anyone and probably don't want to be bothered with bringing a guest so I will just cross my fingers!!!
SusiBtoM
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Invite single people with a guest. Cut corners somewhere else.
Personally, in my single years I attended functions solo although I had been invited with a guest. Just did not want to randomly pick someone to be my 'date' for the evening. How awkward. I also declined invitations where I would not know the majority of other guests, and did not want to subject my 'date' to the same feeling of misery of being stuck at a table of strangers.
We eliminated (almost) all of those people who have not been a part of our lives in the past few years, friends who we have lost contact with, distant relatives. It just becomes insane when EVERYONE is invited.
Kara and Todd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
I will add this, too. I never brought a date when I wasn't dating someone because I always knew people at the weddings. However, there were a lot of times I was alone at the table or felt left out -- slow dances, etc. when all the couples leave...
I didn't bring a date anyway, even knowing this, but I think it's nice to give people the option!
Some people may take advantage of it -- so if you REALLY can't afford it, don't invite them with a guest. If you can, I think it's a good idea.
leenie75
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Posted by Kara and Todd
I will add this, too. I never brought a date when I wasn't dating someone because I always knew people at the weddings. However, there were a lot of times I was alone at the table or felt left out -- slow dances, etc. when all the couples leave...
I didn't bring a date anyway, even knowing this, but I think it's nice to give people the option!
Some people may take advantage of it -- so if you REALLY can't afford it, don't invite them with a guest. If you can, I think it's a good idea.
Thank you!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
If they arent going to know anyone at the wedding, then of course give them and guest...But if you are tryin to cut corners, you dont have to give an and guests to those who will know other people at the wedding... Just make sure to place them at a table where they will know alot of the others
RadiantBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
I will give you the opposite side of what everyone is saying. I am also trying to cut my gl dramatically right now we have about 300 people. I am allowing people to bring dates if they are engaged, married or in a commited relationship. FH and I both have huge families and we want to get as many as our friends in as possible. On the same token, most of the single people that are going are my sorority sisters and his fraternity brothers as well as people we all went to school with so everyone will pretty much know each other.
Hope this helps give you another outlook!
little34
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
I wouldn't put 'with guest' unless they are with someone. If the issue comes up then just explain that you needed to keep the numbers down... I am sure people will understand. We are dealing with this too and we have decided that if cousins and or friends are not seriously dating anyone then we are not putting with guest.
MikeandLisa
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
also... i had a friend who invited everyone with a 'guest' and had some friends bring random friends because they didnt have a significant other. this may sound confusing.. but, in the end, she ended up having people there from the outskirts of her social network,that she did NOT want there from the beginning. some people take the liberty to bring any random, just to fill their guest quota.
Kara and Todd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Posted by Nelly
I will give you the opposite side of what everyone is saying. I am also trying to cut my gl dramatically right now we have about 300 people. I am allowing people to bring dates if they are engaged, married or in a commited relationship. FH and I both have huge families and we want to get as many as our friends in as possible. On the same token, most of the single people that are going are my sorority sisters and his fraternity brothers as well as people we all went to school with so everyone will pretty much know each other.
Hope this helps give you another outlook!
You seem to have big groups of singles coming who know each other and won't be lonely. That's much easier!
GinaZ
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
If they are not in a relationship you do not have to invite them with a guest- unless they will not know anyone. Then it is nice to invite them with a guest.
What I am doing is asking people what the name of their guest is before writing the invites. If they can't tell me the persons first and last name then they are just being invited by themselves. Also, my mom and dad met at a wedding and i think it is historically a great place to meet someone. Im a roamantic dork like that!
luna bride x
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Posted by MsDiva
I can totally understand the financial aspect of your situation. However, most people don't like to attend any event, let alone a wedding, by themselves so I think that it is a nice courtesy for you to allot for a single person to bring a guest.
This is what we did.
i totally agree.. this is what we're gonna do
AllJoy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
Posted by MJDoc12
i think this is a personal choice and everyone is different. if you really have to cut corners, then you have to do what you want. i've heard of some girls on here saying that they only invite their non-married friends if they are in a committed relationsip or engaged.
to me personally, i just don't like the idea of inviting someone solo to a wedding. simply because i know how much it has to suuck being the 'single' person among couples....so i would hate to be that person so i didn't like the idea of causing someone else to be that person. so we invited all our single friends with a guest. most didn't bring one, but they appreciated that we didn't limit them.
sometimes i feel like when someone is specifically invited w/o a guest--its like they are being told they aren't special enough like married or involved couples to have someone else there to enjoy the wedding with. almost like a 2nd class friend or something. but again, that's JMO
You worded this perfectly! I couldn't agree more.
BoxOfRocks
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invitations 'with guest' etiquette
FWIW, we only invited unmarried people with guests if they were in a relationship. We made an exception for the bridal party and invited with unspecified guests.
