Invite delimma...sort of

I just wanted to get some opinions on this one. Three co-workers of mine are planning a shower/happy hour for me and FH. They are inviting all work friends and have asked for a list of non-work friends from me. I think it is going to be a really nice party. My boss is actually hosting it at her house with two other people. I consider them friends, not only coworkers. The problem..I don't have them on my invite list and actually can't accomodate too many more people. But I live in TX now and I know they would not come since it is a holiday wedding and all. I don't think they are expecting to be invtied since we talk all the time about plans and how it is pretty much just immediate family and friends (all of FH extended family wasn't even invited). So should I feel bad about not inviting them? Plus I don't want to just send an invite knowing they would probably not come and then make them feel like the should send me a gift. What do you think?

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

If they already know that you are keeping it small perhaps you could explain to them why you are not inviting them, and they would not be offended. Ultimately they should respect whatever decision you make about who to invite. But the idea of that party sounds really nice

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

I think that you should order enough favors for all of them & give them your thank you & a favor with a little note when you get back because they've been great friends!
I have a few relatives that are unable to travel to LI & send will send favors to them as a little token.
I do not think you should feel bad, they are having a party for you because they care, not because they have to-that makes it so sweet!

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

I agree with Rich'sBride. You should give them a little gift or something for throwing you a party.

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

I had a similar situation. I couldn't afford to invite all of my coworkers to my wedding. It got to the point where, if I invited one, I had to invite 15. It's just too much.

They would ask me about my plans and of course I would tell them. I tried to get it out in the open right away that I had limited seating and money! They eventually caught on and I know they are planning me a 'surprise' party here at work.

They probably don't expect to be invited...just be honest and tell them that you don't have the room or the money. I'm sure they'll understand. My coworkers did - and believe me...there were a few who I really wanted to be there!

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

i wouldnt send an invite...but defintely send them favors....good luck!

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

Good...I feel better. I already have plans to get them a nice hostess gift for the party and I think that is a great idea to give them one of my favors (they actually helped me narrow down my choices!)

Thanks!

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

I would discuss the situation with them. Since your wedding is out-of-town I am sure they do not expect to be invited, which helps. I invited my boss and 1 co-worker to my wedding and someone else asked me 'So I guess I am not being invited to your wedding too' I was shocked at his rudeness actually. He has mentioned it more than once. He has only been with the company for 4-5 months and if I invited him then I would have had to invite 10 other people. We just do not have the money for that.

Re: Invite delimma...sort of

people will probably disagree with me on this one...but I say if you really don't think they will come...(it is far) invite them...its a nice gesture...but of course I take the easy way out...I'm a wimp...

a nice hostess gift is necessary either way