invite issue -- potential fallout

Maybe just tell her that you are very limited to the amount of people you can have at the wedding....I say if you are tenured then screw her... if you are not tenured...well then I would prob. say invite the witch....LOL

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

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Posted by Kerin2804

End your stress - send an invite - she may not even show. Seat her at a different table than your friends and they do not have to worry about her either.

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I keep coming back to this option but I know in my heart that I won't be able to bring myself to do it. I can't be fake like that and I hate that i feel like I'm being forced.

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I understand...don't invite her with a guest...that could deter her from going... stick her at a table with the kids...LOL

Or just invite her to the ceremony

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Numerous!

Honestly, all the city cares about is the test scores -- our consistant (and even dramatic) improvements mean she will never be fired. She has helped turned the school around but her success is the direct result of all of OUR hard work.

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it really is a shame that city schools have come to this. if u really dont want 2 invite her then dont, u just have to really be on your P's & Q's with her.

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Posted by little34

Maybe just tell her that you are very limited to the amount of people you can have at the wedding....I say if you are tenured then screw her... if you are not tenured...well then I would prob. say invite the witch....LOL

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I had tenure before she even came to the building, lol. I'm not worried about getting fired. But anyone who works in a school knows that there are many ways to make people absolutely miserable.

I think I'm going to write the email and let the chips fall where they may.

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Posted by kslmbuggie

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Numerous!

Honestly, all the city cares about is the test scores -- our consistant (and even dramatic) improvements mean she will never be fired. She has helped turned the school around but her success is the direct result of all of OUR hard work.

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it really is a shame that city schools have come to this. if u really dont want 2 invite her then dont, u just have to really be on your P's & Q's with her.

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exactly -- I'll just have make sure everything is perfect at all times until it blows over.

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

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Posted by little34

Maybe just tell her that you are very limited to the amount of people you can have at the wedding....I say if you are tenured then screw her... if you are not tenured...well then I would prob. say invite the witch....LOL

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I had tenure before she even came to the building, lol. I'm not worried about getting fired. But anyone who works in a school knows that there are many ways to make people absolutely miserable.

I think I'm going to write the email and let the chips fall where they may.

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OH I know...I am a teacher too.....do the email.....get the union involved if she harasses you!

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Posted by Songstress

She sounds like a bully and her antics are working. DOnt send the witch an invite. I would not have wanted anyone who wasnt happy for me at my wedding and she obviously doesnt give a sh!t about you.

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you're right and there have been many many days in the last 4 years where I wish I had never become a teacher -- because of the bullying and the craziness.

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

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Posted by Songstress

She sounds like a bully and her antics are working. DOnt send the witch an invite. I would not have wanted anyone who wasnt happy for me at my wedding and she obviously doesnt give a sh!t about you.

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you're right and there have been many many days in the last 4 years where I wish I had never become a teacher -- because of the bullying and the craziness.

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Thats terrible. I wish you could report her to someone.
Its not right.

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Posted by Songstress

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

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Posted by Songstress

She sounds like a bully and her antics are working. DOnt send the witch an invite. I would not have wanted anyone who wasnt happy for me at my wedding and she obviously doesnt give a sh!t about you.

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you're right and there have been many many days in the last 4 years where I wish I had never become a teacher -- because of the bullying and the craziness.

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Thats terrible. I wish you could report her to someone.
Its not right.

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me too but there's no one really to report her to.

This is my 12 year teaching (4th year under this administration) and I have like 19 years to go before I can retire. Some days I don't feel like I'm going to make it. But I invested so much time and energy into this career that I feel like I can't possibly start over now. I don't have it in me to start over but i think I at least need to change buildings first chance I get.

I definitely wouldn't e-mail her bc if she is as bad as she sounds that will only create a worse environment for you at work..honestly, if you plan at staying at the school for another few..then I would invite the nasty woman..after all there is a high likelyhood that she would rsvp no & if she attends well just think of it as a measure taken for your sanity as a newlywed, ya know

say you unfortunately since you can't take days off before the wedding because she threatened you,
You were soo overwhelmed & forgot her invite.. lol/ Just kidding.

But seriously she stinks. Be careful with the email though. like people said already, you already have a catty person she can read into it too much. Y

ou can invite her to the ceremony part & saw you didn't want to come to CLM anyway (since it was her stupid comment), or tell her you are right, it is hard to do a wedding for under 40k that is why you have to cut down on GUESTS hint hint to her, or invite her but without a guest, or just tell her your family and budget has limits for the wedding and apologize & hope she understands.

Does she come to events anyway. Is she the type that will bug about an invite but not show up... If so you can always invite & hope her she doesn't show. But really who wants to do that anyway. Keep track of her harassment though. IF she does anything illegal report her @ss, then let the city talk their way into why they should keep her.
I am surprised scores went up with teacher morale so low!

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

At every school I've taught at, the administration has been invited to any weddings, bar mitsvah's, memorials and christenings taking place. Pretty much the same is expected at my current building. The principal and I had a falling out years ago and then we kind of made up. However, she has continued to make enemies in my building and morale is very low. Many wonderful teachers have left because of her and one Christmas party was actually canceled because 75% of the staff said that they would not attend if she would be there ( I Know ).
We are not close and I am not inviting her to my wedding. Here is my problem: I know, I KNOW, that she will be offended. I know she will take it personally and it is in her personality to make things hard for me. She has already told that she will file a grievance against me if I take too many days off around the time of the wedding. I laughed it off and told her I might need that time to conceive-- but her message was loud and clear.
I am not a little girl -- I know how to stand up for myself but I have a feeling there will be fallout and I need to find a way to avoid making her an enemy.I am thinking of writing her an email telling her that unfornutely I will not be inviting her to my wedding but that it's not personal...

Please help me draft an email!!!!!
TIA

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I used to work in HR and I know that schools are different than the private sector, but I would make sure someone knows that she has been 'harrassing' you about taking time off around the wedding, and that you are concerned about retribution if you don't invite her. This way when you DON'T invite her you have laid the groundwork if she gives you any issues. It's always better to make sure someone knows that there is something going on - just get it on record. This is the problem I have with these school systems...once administrators get it, they think they can do whatever they want and they're untouchable - it's such BS!! Good teachers leave teaching because of people like her!

GOOD LUCK!

revenge by seating chart....I'm thinking bratty toddlers, inlaws who talk about politics and anyone with BO.
Oh and any relatives who will get drunk and take a grope at her.

I'm pure evil

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I would just let it go and invite her if I thought she would genuinely be happy for me but this is the same woman who had the nerve to scrunch up her nose when I told her I was getting married at CLM. She also informed me that no one in New York can have a DECENT wedding for under$40K.

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Okay....see I was going to say just invite the b**ch but this pissed me off. I am assumign you are tenured (bc you said you said worked there for 'years') you are only taking one day off. I know it is within her power to search for reasons to screw you...but at the same time what can you really say in an email? If she is going to be offended you didnt invite her an email wont change that....Im sorry your going through this...so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by siffleuse319

keep your friends close and your enemies closer....I say, go ahead and invite her. You may even see a side of her that is likable. Plus it's really noble to be the person offering the olive branch....

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This is what my mother thinks.
Sigh.